Newt's Lying Eyes

You know how when we were self righteous believers and we would call out people by sayin' "Don't judge. that is only for god." Remember that...well, I'm not a believer anymore.

The tale of The Newt is just getting better and better and by better and better I mean worse and worse. Really, this common gigolo could potentially be the next president of the United States. I must be dreaming. The latest escapade of Mr. Free Love himself, The Newt Baby, involves...well, free love. The Newt's entertainment value is rising because his private life is looking like erotica. Is it his millionth wife that recently said that The Newt wanted that open relationship the more liberal and secular world is OK with. Yea I think so.

The thingy about it is is that The Newt is not liberal or secular. Recently he said that secularism is one of the reasons why America is not the superpower it used to be (he didn't say that, but he meant it). Of course he is a Family Values guy. Everyone is talking about his Clinton years and that fine. Unfortunately for The Newt all his media coverage makes him look like a hypocrite.

Look man, a candidates person life and religion do not matter when they are running for office...except for when they do matter. The Newt has been married three times, but his lesbian sister, who wants to get married, cannot even get one.

"It's not my place to judge anyone, but it frustrating as hell that there are people-my brother included-that are able to enjoy marriage equality more than once," The Newt's lesbian sister.

I'll judge. First of all Callista, if that is her real name, in NOT all that and second and most important...You're a hypocrite. Dam bro, why you do your sis' like that. 


* The New Yorker.


Update: Walker Texas Ranger (that's his name, right) talked to God and told him (Chuck Norris fact #1099238450912834098 Chuck Norris tells god what's up, no the other way around) that he is endorsing The Newt. Secondly...Callista is still not that hot. Baby, there is something called pigment, hello. I'm mean i like white girls, but sheez girl, you iz so white you are transparent. that's really white.

"Hello, Callista. Yea this is Michele...you have crazy beautiful eyez. Call me. My closet gay husband is shopping for sunglasses for the dog, again...with his personal assistant from the Philippines...Poppie. Thanks."

God's Love And Christian Doublespeak

Former Bishop John Shelby "I always give this guy credit" Spong kills it in his short piece in the Washington Post's On Faith. In The Contradictions Of Religious People Spong touches on the very unChristian behavior of Christians. What is that Gandhi quote, "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians (ouch bro, say what you really wanna say)." We saw this kinda behavior the other nite during the GOP Teabagger debate when the crowd whole heartily clapped when Rick Perry bragged about all the people Texas execute during his reign. WTF. That's God's love(?).

The term pro-life seems like it's straightforward, but it's really a great example of Christian doublespeak and double-do. Say one thing, but mean the other. Say one thing, but do the other. Gov. Rick Perry is pro-life, but what does that mean: they want to save a cell (not a human) from being aborted, but they will approve of the killing of abortion doctors (a full grown adult). The term pro-life seems to mean the sanctity of life and of humanity, but then why did the small government people applaud Perry's 234 executions the other nite, why did they say that an uninsured person in a coma "has the right to die," and that they should die. What's pro-life about that. Seems like a pro death philosophy that does not have any regard for human life.

Everyone's least favorite and original doninionist, Pat "God causes erff-quakes because he's mad at the gays" Robertson said a Pat Robertson the other nite when he said that it is OK to divorce your spouse if they have...da da daaa...Alzheimers. Forget the sanctity of marriage and the vows "in sickness and in heath." Nooooo, fuck that shit. Loyalty means nothing to Gods party and, I guess, when it comes down to being there for the person you made that commitment with, you can just go Newt Gingrich and leave your sick/dying spouse because...because you are lonely and have needs (I don't even know why a person would do that. Can't even imagine being that selfish). So much for Family Values among conservative heteros (and to them, it is the gays that are destroying traditional marriage.sheez).

My last example of Christian doublespeak and double-do is from up North in Oregon. Yes, and by yes I really mean N000000000, that crazy splinter cell of Christianity called Followers Of Christ are on trial again for killing their babies. I reported on different instances earlier this year and for the fourth time a couple from the same church is on trial for praying for their obviously sick baby instead of, I dunno, calling 911. Because of these cases, all from the same church mind you, legislation has been passed that makes it a criminal offense to kill your baby thru prayer, err, not seek medical attention for your children. If this is part of God's plan, then the plan is fucked up I tell ya.

All god's creatures are created equal...except women, GLBT, atheists, other religions and animals. If that is not a good example of Christian doublespeak and Christian double-do, then I don't know what is. On one hand the term pro-life seems really life affirming, that is unless you are a doctor that has dedicated your life to helping people at a place where abortions are, like, less than 10% of the services provided (then they will kill you). Christian hetero marriage shows god's glory, you are doing God right by hetero marriage and having hella kids (God's work), but don't randomly get sick, or get a disease, otherwise your spouse will leave you (when you need them the most). It's OK, Pat Robertson said Alzheimer's is "like death."

Gandhi was right. Please kill me now. Sheez.

* Something to Quack About in Oregon

* Update On Abusive Faith Healing Parents