Walking Downtown

Yesterday at the #cutegirlrestaurant I volunteered to "ask" a bum to leave the front of the restaurant. The very nice girls at the restaurant attempted to do it first and were very nice to him "sir, these chairs are for customers only, if you would like to order something we would be glad to help you." Scummy dirt face grabbed a menu and went outside...to continue talking to himself and deff not reading the menu. I've never been altruistic to bums...I have always had a job (and i take my Prozac). "I work for my beer a cigarettes."

I took it upon myself to do something. "Hey, get the fuck outta here." He became angry at me and started yelling. "I'll tell you something..." I cut him off,"Shut the fuck up, I don't want to debate with you." It only made him angrier and he didn't leave. I went back inside.

"F" was already on the phone with the nonemergency police. All the customers stopped eating their breakfast and watched...and watched. I had made the situation worse, but because everyone is so nice here (unlike myself), they didn't trip. After about 15 minutes, scummy dirt face walked away, before the police arrived, and last I saw him he was walking down the street screaming heading downtown.

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My self imposed sabbatical is both relaxing and nerve racking at the same time. I just can't work right now. If I could I would, right. Afterall that is what I've always done. It is really super weirdo to not have anything to do all day. It seems the only thing to do (when I'm not drinking) is watch the colors of the leaves change (even tho it's hella cold outside) and then fall to their decomposing winter-y death. If it seems like a time consuming endeavor, it is; but seemingly right now...I have nothing but time. Strange, strange times indeed.

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I've been doing a lot of walking. I can walk from home all the way to Old Sacramento, watch the super-killer ice cold Lake Tahoe water as it journeys to the Bay Area. Funny thing, as soon as I get there, I leave. There are scattered dirty scum face bums there that also have nothing but time to kill. They are watching the water also. Some try and start a conversation and/or bum a smoke, but I just blow them off. Some look contemplative and some have dead eyes as they look at the dark water swirling and churning to the Bay, carriyng with it debris that sometimes looks like life. I used to love sitting by the river, watching water go under the bridge, but I can't stand it now. After mere moments I put my backpack on and walk some more.

A holiday shopper with child walks by and the kid says "look at those homeless people mommy." "Be quiet (insert name of child here), "but the kid is not quiet and keeps pointing in our direction. I know he's not talking about me...my face is clean.

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All the leads are turning to NOT. Now I'm hitting up friends of friends. If it comes down to it, I'll send an SOS out on Twitter. I would totally rely on strangers right now for help, totally (I'm not there yet, tho). One peep I FB'd wanted to help, but couldn't, then mentioned that I had been a jerk to her several times in the past, but she forgives me. I didn't write her back.

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"Dude.""Hey, was' up "S".

"Heading down to the protest. Wanna come."

"I got nothing going on."

We get into his jalopy and I meet his peeps. He is fresh faced and passionate and talks about his involvement with the #OWS movement. The others in the car are equally passionate and soon everyone is talking at the same time, except for me.

I was a teenage puckrocker and even when I started dressing like a New Waver, then hippie, then raver...etc...I still held punk rock sensibilities in my heart. The difference between then and now is that the 80's was a "me generation." It was not until circumstances this year where I have been forced to get a valid I.D.. If I didn't have to do that, then I'd be totally off the grid still: no bank account, no bills in my name, nothing in my name, no phone, no attachments, no nothing.

All this talk of 99% bores me. We used to rage about this shit in the 80's and nothing has changed. In fact, it seems that it has only gotten worse and worse. I'm at least 20 years older than everyone in the car. I want to get out, but that would mean more walking and these shoes I got for free are uncomfortable. These kids are kinda stinky, not bum stinky but 20 something stinky, like, I slept in these clothes last night in my parents house and I chose to not take a shower today stinky. We pull up to the park and they scan for the police and their peeps. We get a really good parking space and get out.

"Thanks for the ride."

"We're all in it together, bro."

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There are all kinds of people here: old, young, rich, poor. There are also many dirty stinky faced bums, drinking outta bags and rerolling cigarette buts they have collected on their journeys. Dam, I wanna fucking beer and cigarette. I guess I'm no better than anyone else. I walk thru the crowd(s).

They are doing that microphone thing where one person says something, and then everyone else repeats it. I want to get up there and say, "Kriss needs a beer and a cigarette (KRISS NEEDS A  BEER AND A CIGARETTE.), but even I wouldn't do something like that...sober. There are drummers, people holding signs and a media presence. I over hear many things, "I've worked hard all my life...I couldn't keep up with those payments...this isn't fair....what am I going to do..." A mother holds her child (looks like 3y/o to me) as she talks to a reporter, "What is my baby going to do? What kind of future will she have." The reporter furiously scribbles notes on a pad.

I really wanted a cigarette so I just asked the first person I saw smoking. "Hey dude, can I get one of those." It was stinky bum face from the restaurant earlier. He didn't recognize me and very casually gave me a smoke. I could see that he only had one left for himself. I probably would not give my second to last cigarette to a stranger, or even a friend-I'm an asshole like that.

"Thanks, bro."

It was delicious but I only smoked half of it. I put it out with my fingers and wiped my face. "S" emerged from the crowd. He was strong looking and still as fresh faced and youthful as he was in the car. As he passed me on the way to his destination, "Kriss, you have ash or something on your face."

Now my face is dirty also. Fuck.

Say It Isn't So

Yea buddy, Team Atheist/Feminist.

Ugh, I do believe that it is a totally waste of time to fight the same fights over and over; and yet because the same issues keep coming up...then bring it on. That Gawds party is still fighting/debating the scopes monkey trial and Roe v. Wade are perfect examples of the battleground rewind. We are still fighting for civil rights, equality for minorities and fer Christ's sake, it's 2011. Feminism is also one of those battle grounds.

Just read an article on USA Today about the younger generation and feminism. Sadly, so it seems, the young ladies are not embracing feminism, they think equality has arrived and the worst part, they see the movement in stereotypical terms that should have been left behind in the 70's (that was a long time ago). I understand that a little boy might think that "boys are better than girls", but adults, college students, the young ladies (say it isn't so). The worst worst part of the article is the comments.

Many many times the best parts of the article is the comment section (esp. when Team Atheist shows up for the debate. so proud of y'all). Not this time. The remarkable group NOW is celebrating their 45th mighty year, the thingy about it is that...it's not that mighty.

The first comment implied that NOW is a dinosaur like the NAACP. Oh Nooooozzzzz. Say it isn't so. Another one said that the 70's Women's Rights Movement "wiped out femininity" and created a generation of tomboys. WTF, who are these weirdoes ("were-dooz" or weirdos (we're-doze"). And of course, God will show up in the comment section with this commenter saying that feminism ruined the traditional family structure (no, maybe sexism, abusiveness, inequality and religion ruined the "traditional family").

Oh Jenn, you should have went to school in Nor Cal. Le sigh.

Some of the college aged females students interviewed said that they think feminism automatically means something bad. For their generation it might mean an angry and pushy person that does not shave. To them it is something that their mothers and their grandmothers did (sheez, appreciate much). Recently, with the MLK statue thingy, I saw many reports of young black kids, kids that are reaping the benefits of their predecessors, going to the ceremonies and showing respect and appreciation for those that paved the way before them. Where is that for the feminist movement?

You have come a long way, baby, but there is still a ways to go. The main reason that I see is the bad religion that the mighty atheist blogosphere keeps talking about. Look at the language of the evangelical: submissive, dominionism, take our family back etc....so sayith the Lord.

Feminism is not dead, but it is not thriving either. Is their equal pay, no. Is there equal treatment, no. We , Team Atheist that is, have a lot in common with the feminists (literal biblical interpretations is our opponet). That is why I keep pumping the "team" concept. We need to team up. Divided we will fall, but together, with civil rights advocates, the #OWS'ers, secularist, and those who battle for scientific intergrity...and the feminists....let's team up and do this thing.

Fil-Am and Persian-Am, The Similarities

My sexist friend has a joke that 'they' cover up their women because they are so fine. Might be true.

Super Old Kriss, like, even before I started saying that, at one time was a film buff. not movies mind you...film. The late 80's and early 90's was made of awesome. There was Almodovar, Woody Allen's serious phase, David "I think you are so awesome even tho you promote Transcendental Meditation" Lynch and many others. Then...I stopped checking out film (and there is not a good reason, I just stopped). Well, fast forward to right now. There is a new film on the scene that has peeked my interest and perhaps will usher in a return to being a film buff.

Circumstance (2011) is about "A wealthy Iranian family struggles to contain a teenager's growing sexual rebellion and her brothers dangerous obsession (IMBD).

Hey super young ladies, do you have any older sisters, or your mama, that I can go out with.

I grew up here in the good 'ol U.S. of A. and not in the Philippines (thank goodness) and I certainly can relate to the duel identities that the characters in Maryam Keshavarz film deal with. In the SF Gate review she states that growing up in Iran there were two identities  1) one  for the outside world and 2) one in the safety of the home. For me, sort of funny to say now, I was white at school and Filipino at home. Outside I was gregarious, vocal and fun and at home I kept quiet (because noise got the shit beat outta ya. assholes).

Now I live in an atheistic freedom mecca (Nor Cal forever, bro) and I can't even imagine being oppressed because of my beliefs or things that I do. Apparently growing up in Iran is quite different (no shit really). Very bravely the female characters press the limits of an oppressed society with sexual experimentation, dress and basic socializing (that we/I take for granted here in the states). When I was just starting to check out the pretty white ladies as a teen, the only thing I had to worry about was a dad busting into the room and kicking me out. In uber religious Iran, the brother will kill you, or the dad, or the authorities and as the director says, "you will be marked for life."

This is why globalization and secularization and The New Atheists are so important. If somehow we can, as a world community, ditch the bronze age thinking that The New Atheists keep talking about, then we can nurture the younger generation and grow positively as a society. Here in the states there are movements that want to return to that 1950's America (that probably never even existed) of repressed sexuality, unquestioning faith in government and God, and very important to atheist feminist me, getting those women back in the kitchen (dudes, make your own sandwiches, really). Meanwhile, in the rest of the world great strides are being made to become secular and to break the cultural taboos that have been holding back the youth.

I haven't seen a film, or a movie for that matter, in years, but Nu Kriss is a-thinking about returning to being a film buff. Circumstance is deff on my list and i just hope that it comes to our humble small cow town.

Awesome peeps.

* IMBD

* SF Gate review.