The Evolution Of Santa

 If you or I or anyone on Team Atheist were to go back in time and do a Terminator to kill the Sarah Connor's of Christmas, there are two dudes that we must go and get.

One is Clement Clark Moore. This dude took a not so well know legend, St. Nick, and turned it into this ginormous thing. Originally St. Nick was a 4th century priest that was generous-n-stuff and he did give gifts to people and even used a stocking; but he was no Santa.

 Moore took that and added some Sinter/Cinter Klaus elements from the Dutch. Sinter/Cinter Klaus was then merged with the Pagan Yule God, Oden for more characteristics. Oden's 8 legged flying horse did not make the cut tho.

 To further the transformation, Moore added on to his Elfish gift giver, American furs (yuck) and a pipe. Legend does not say what is in the pipe, but if dude was doing all this work-n-stuff...then he smoked the weeds. Needless to say at this point in the transformation Santa was looking more like a hippie Elf than a priest (which is the origin).

At this point Santa did have a sack full of toys, the flying sky sleigh, the not PETA approved slave reindeer with their own names and his sick arse pipe.

 The next loser that evolved the myth of Santa is illustrator Thomas Nast. He was commissioned by Harper's Weekly to, to....err, I dunno. But when he was finished the Nu Santa was no longer an elf; dude was now taller (and more American-ish). He was jolly with a "twinkle in his eye" and he was also aided by two important tools: 1) his list of naughty or nice kids and 2) the North Pole where his factory is located (and incidentally, is also the place of many work place violations.).

 This season there has been much ado about should Christian parents teach their innocent children about Santa when obviously Santa is Satan, and to embrace Santa is pretty much, well, a sin. On one site I was checking out it pretty much said Santa is made up so don't believe in dude. Well, that is when Team Atheist says to Christians...pot, kettle, black.

More Kriss' War On Christmas later folks. Stay warm and stay awesome.

* History Channel

Santa IS Satan

This one is so crazy that it deserves all quotes to speak for itself.

"When we carefully compare the myth of Santa Claus versus the real Biblical story of Jesus Christ, we are presented with the shocking truth that Santa has been thoroughly created to replace Jesus Christ in too many people's lives."

"Santa equals Satan. Santa. As in Santa Claus."

JESUS CHRIST: OUR LORD AND SAVIOR ACCORDING TO THE BIBLE	SANTA CLAUS: THE COUNTERFEIT ACCORDING TO MYTH OF MEN
1. Has white hair like wool (Rev 1:14)	1. Has white hair like wool
2. Has a beard (Isaiah 50:6)	2. Has a beard
3. Comes in red apparel Isaiah (63:1-2)	3. Comes in red apparel
4. Hour of His coming is a mystery(Luke 12:40; Mark 13:33)	4. Hour of his coming is a mystery
5. Comes from the North where He lives (Ezekiel 1:4; Psalm 48:2)	5. Comes from the North where he lives: North Pole
6. Is a carpenter (Mark 6:3)	6. Is a toy carpenter
7. Comes as a thief in the night(Matthew 24:43-44)	7. Comes as a thief in the night. Even gains entrance to homes as a thief.
8. Omnipotent -- all powerful (Rev 19:6)	8. Omnipotent -- can deliver all the toys of the world in one night
9. Omniscient -- knows all (Hebrews 4:13; 1 John 3:20)	9. Omniscient -- knows if you have been good or bad, for the entire year
10. Omnipresent (Psalm 139:7-10; Ephesians 4:6; John 3:13)	10. Omnipresent -- sees when you wake or sleep. Has to be everywhere at once to be able to deliver all the toys in one short night.
11. Ageless, eternal (Rev 1:8; 21:6)	11. Lives forever
12. Lives in men (1 Cor 3:16; 2 Cor 6:16-17)	12. Lives in the hearts of children
13. Giver of Gifts (Ephesians 4:8)	13. Giver of Gifts
14. Absolute Truth (John 14:6)	14. Absolute Fable - (1 Tim 1:4; 4:7;2 Tim 4:4)
15. Sits on a throne (Rev 5:1; Heb 1:8)	15. Sits on a throne
16. We are told to boldly go to the throne of Grace for our needs (Heb 4:16)	16. Children are bidden to approach his throne to ask for anything they want
17. Commands children to obey parents	17. Tells children to obey parents
18. Wants little children to come to Him (Mark 10:14)	18. Bids children to come unto him
19. Judges (Rom 14:10; Rev 20:2)	19. Judges whether you were good or bad
20. Everlasting Father (Isa 9:6; Heb 12:2)	20. Father Christmas
21. Christ Child (Matt 1:23; Luke 2:11-12)	21. Kris Kringle (means christ child)
22. Worthy of Prayers and Worship (Rev 5:14 Hebrews 1:6)	22. Prayers and worship to "St. Nick" by children
23. Lord of Hosts (Mal 3:5; Isa 8:13; Psalms 24:10)	23. Lord over a host of elves - (In Druidic religion, elves are demons or tree spirits
24. God says, "Ho, ho ... (Zechariah 2:6)	24. Santa says, "Ho, ho, ho ..."
25. Prince of Peace, the Image of God (Isa 9:6;Hebrews 1:3)	25. Symbol of World Peace, the image of the Christmas Season

"Clearly, you can see that someone deliberately created a Secular counterfeit to Jesus Christ, matching the many attributes of Jesus Christ with Santa Claus! There are too many direct matches for this creation of Santa Claus to have been an accident. We are told in Job 1:6-7 that Satan walks up and down on the Earth, as if it were a small garden plot completely under his domination. Satan can be thought of as a Master Marionette, pulling the strings on Earth. Certainly, in these Last Days, Satan would have wanted someone else to draw the attention, admiration, and love of the children away from Jesus Christ. But, not only that, Satan would have wanted to infect children early with that most devastating of spiritual diseases, the love of material things, and the love of oneself that goes with trying to get as many presents as possible! The creation and promotion of Santa Claus certainly fulfills all these goals."

The site is more of the same nonsense (and I'm the one on Prozac).

F*ck Santa

Super lame-o to the infinity extreme. A news anchor had to apologize for sayin' that there ain't no Santa. The quote from the caption says "Robin Robinson crushed kids' holiday dreams by saying that Santa doesn't exist." Deluded parents that also want their children deluded got their panties all in a bunch because of it. Forget that it was the news at 9:45pm and that kids that would be affected would not be awake, and besides that...what kids watch the news. Really.

This is bullshit. She should have not had to apologize (here). What did she do...tell the truth. The topic came up earlier, "Would I, krissthesexyatheist, raise my kids (the kids that I do not, yet, have-where are you 1/2 Asian babies) to believe in Santa Claus." The answer....hell yea. At least for a couple of years (it would be fun for me and the mommy also). But would I get my panties in a bunch if my kid(s) that was supposed to be asleep caught a glimpse of a news anchor telling the truth (1) by sayin' that the fat white man called Jesus, errr, I mean, Santa Claus does not exists. No.

Nuff said

(1) If anyones kids were such a goober as to watching the news at a young age, fo sho it would be mine...but they wouldn't be watching Fox News. They would be watching something cool like BBc or Al Jazeera. So there...

* As of right now I want to post a whole bunch of times on the topic of The War On Christmas. I'm pissed, fuck you and fuck you Christmas, and fuck Happy Holidays and fuck you again. Other than that...have a nice day.

* In "researching" this I came across a Jesus-Claus site. I think it'll (yes, that is a valid contraction) be my next post.

* I've been on break because everything is shitty. Shitty, I tell you.