Skeptic Meters, Breathing And My Beautiful Philippines

What can I say...I'm one of those super smart and great looking/sexy, know it all skeptics (and so are y'all, well, only if yer on Team Skeptic) so when I discover sumthin'...I'm totally surprised. As you all know I totally heart my beautiful Philippines so much. So they have religious wars, seemingly no separation of church and state and the poverty...oh the poverty, so what. So what that they brag about being the most Catholic nation in S.E.Asia. So what that the witch doctor (daitu) and their *alternative medicine* is still used in many barangays today. This is where I draw the line tho...Buteyko.

So WTF is Buteyko, I'm mean besides bull of the shit...it's breathing; specifically breathing thru the nose, and sometimes hyperventilating. Really peeps I always tell people this, if anyone were to see/feel chi it would be the Asian guy that grew up, err, Asian and studied martial arts (c'est moi). No offense but when white people try and tell me about tai chi and chi gung I roll my eyes. I was the poster boy for alternative medicine at one point. If ginseng and echinachea were fer real, wouldn't I know about that. If the art of healing hands (Reiki) were for real, or shiatsu and accupunture and accupressure were fer real...wouldn't I know that. I think so (1).

I guess click the Buteyko link if you wanna waste your time, or you can just trust and believe me (I have never ever lied in my life) that it is fakey fake. When reading the description in the Filipino newspaper my skeptic meter went off like a drunk Mel Gibson in a kosher supermarket-that means a lot. If this is not written down anywhere, it should be...everyone's skeptic meter should go off when there is any product that claims to cure a whole host of ailments-panacea. The article claims that if one practices this *special* breathing technique then one can cure anything from asthma to a limp dick.

I couldn't resist...I Googled "limp."

Other warning signs are stupido thingies like "the medical establishment doesn't want you to know about this," "proven technique that is centuries old," "it's natural." (2). If you hear or read these things and your skeptic meter is NOT going off, then you need to change the battery in your skeptic meter cause the shit isn't working.

This is the first style I learned. 1972 baby (it kinda sucks cause you end up spitting all over yourself).

So, is it possible that there could be benefits to using this technique...sure. We all need to breath, breathing is cool. In fact I do it everyday. The body needs oxygen and so does the brain. If one uses any breathing technique, esp. combined with what the New Agers call-mindfulness, then of course there will be benefits. One can use any meditation, yoga, Gojo Ryo Karate has cool breathing techniques, tai chi and chi gung are also really effective breathing techniques. The thingy about it is we already know how to breath, naturally. It is fakey fake for anyone to tell you (esp. if they are charging money) that they have cornered the market on breathing. If you just sit in a chair and concentrate on making deep breadths, as opposed to any of the techniques I mentioned, I do not see any difference, well except for your bank account (it will be smaller and...limp).

I'm not sayin' don't breath, I'm sayin' don't spend money learning something that we already do naturally. As those great philosophers from the late 80's said "Don't believe the hype (and don't spend money on it)."

(1) I'm not sayin' that after one of those treatments one will not feel good, what I'm saying is that there are real world, physical (physiological) happenings that make those things work. It's certainly not chi.

(2) Just because something is old and natural doesn't mean that it's correct. For example blood leeching is old, so there.

* Article in GMA News Philippines

The Return Of Exorcisms...Again

There is an attempt to return to...exorcisms. Yes, the future is now, well, except when religion is involved. It's the conservative Christian right that wants the return to that 1950's America that may or may not have existed (if your a baby boomer white person. It probably didn't exist for the masses), religion has held back the progress of the mind and the human condition for at least 2,000 years in exchange for clinging to the outdated, harmful and I'll just say it...it stupid.

Growing up a Filipino Catholic there was no way to question the existence of demons and Satan, much less God and as an adult card carrying member of Team Atheist, I see that childlike faith still has it's unreasonable and irrational tentacles wrapped around society. Really, a normal, rational adult is supposed to believe that Satan sends demons to inhabit ones body in the made up battle between heaven and hell. With all we know about brain chemistry and mental illness, there are still factions of society that want to take away personal responsibility and put it on the metaphorical shoulders of a freekin'....demon.

Father Jose Antonio Fortea is a real deal exorcist. He is studying to get his doctorate in theology in Rome and he travels countries lecturing about the many books he has written on the topic of exorcism. He claims that the bible is the best textbook for exorcisms, and that is because Jesus was an exorcist. He is also trying to expand the definition of the possessed to include more subtle demonic mischievous (and I think that is an attempt to drum up more business). He says, "Ever exorcism is a gift that helps us believe." I say, and quote me on this one, " Demons are fake, Satan is fake, exorcisms are fake, but brain chemistry and mental illness are as real as I'am sexy...and humble." Quote me on that one.

In an effort to eliminate the competition, he claims that exorcisms are necessary often times when people practice something called Santeria, which to me sounds like a delicious alcoholic drink one enjoys in the summertime with friends, as well as magic, witchcraft and that super evil and destructive demon, New Age philosophy. It's really quite ingenious of "them"...eliminate the competition. It's basic economics, folks.

"Oh wait, you're not a boy. I'm sorry miss. Tell your brother to come see me in the rectory. Sorry our inside joke."

Oh, pray tell (I'm not sure what that means)...I can go on and on. I'll end with this...

"Demonic spirits take over the body, not the soul, he said, which is why the sacrament of confession is more important for the average Catholic than exorcism (link)."

There are no such things as demons, only brain chemistry and I'd rather go to see a psychiatrist than go into some box and tell some boy fucker all the weird, cool and sinful things that I have done (I'd be scared they're wacking it in there and I was raised Catholic and I always went to confession and I always told the truth, like I do now. ie "Father forgive me for I have sinned, I have smoked the weeds, talked back to my parents  and I felt a cute white girls booty....and I liked it. A lot...a lot. Forgive me father, I'am with sin. Yuckie). While the world is sending their best and brightest to the states for education in science and technology (for them to return to their countries), lazy, uneducated, uber religious, fat, stupid and blind Americans are believing in frackin' demons, when they should be getting real scientific medical attention.

 Previously

 Here also

The Immaculate Belt of Conception

 Wow a five kilometer line of fat, drunk Christian Russians (no offense to any of my fat, drunk Christian Russian friends out there), numbering around 400,000 are braving that bearish winter to....touch Marry's belt.

It's true Team Atheist, I can't make this shit up. A super old relic, on loan from those equally fat and drunk Greek Orthodox'ers, is on display for the first time in the winter vodka-bearville called Comrade Russia. Why...

"The Belt of the Virgin Mary is believed to help women’s fertility and cure illnesses. It toured ten other Russian cities before arriving in the capital."

“There is something I need to ask. Nobody in this line is here just for fun,” said 40-year-old Ivan, who was waiting at the front of the line for his wife and child."

“I joined the line at midnight, so it’s been about 12 hours,” he said. The wait could be up to 26 hours, news agencies said.

“I am 74, and I have suffered a heart attack. I am handicapped in my arm and leg,” said another man, identifying himself as Vladimir, after exiting the imposing white cathedral and leaning on his wife’s supporting arm."

“Maybe it will help?” he said, tears welling up in his eyes (National Post)."

OK, let's see. The fakey fake Shroud of Turin has been on tour (to raise money of course) and last year the (alleged) Jesus' foreskin was on tour in Europe somewhere (remember that, I try not to). And now we have the Immaculate Belt on tour, the belt that will cure ills or save the dwindling Russian population (read the article) by allowing not-fertile women to be fertile. 

In the meantime, people, real people that need help are clinging to ghosts and superstition.

Oh please. Wait. Oh, that was Lourdes calling...they said hey Russia, you are fakey fake.

Awesomeness.