The Smell Of God

I'd roll in this. Is that a dunk tank in the back-makes it even better.

OK, I halfta turn off my ancient computer when I'm eating breakfast cause I'll never finish eating at this rate. Guess who has a new fragrance...I'll just tell you...the freekin' Pope; yes that Pope.

Not only is B16 down with wearing the super ugly hats or cruising the blvd in that sick arse Pope Mobile, he's down for smelling good. Lemmie tell y'all, I was raised Catholic and when the priest and his entourage walk to the alter with that "incense" that smells like death...a little fragrance is OK by me.

Hello losers, check out my super ugly hats. B16 beeotches.

OK, so let the jokes begin. "Kriss, what does it smell like. Does it smell like boys being raped, the blood of Christ, boy butt, Ben Gay, stale crackers and boys butt." Sorry to disappoint but, as the French say, "non." Italian boutique perfume maker, Silvana Casoli, made this exclusive fragrance outta lime tree, verbana and grass. The entire list of ingredients is just as secret as the church itself. But the parfume maker did say that her delicate creation is "based on his love on nature." I'll say it so you don't halfta...that's where the smell of young boy comes in, right.

This Casoli is quite the popular elitist boutique proprietor. Customers include Madonna (the one that posed naked, not the holy one), Sting and a King or two. Previous holy scents include Water of Faith and Water of Hope. This is so cool. While many churches are closing down because of the economy, while the services for the poor (their only redeeming endeavor) are being cut to nill, a pedophile protector  can smell of "hope" and "faith" while simultaneously taking away the hope and faith of a young boy. How convenient  and by convenient I mean disgusting.

Italy is kinda cool.

Here's the other side of that fragrant coin. She also makes one called Italy which I imagine smells like the sex parties of their disgraced President Bunga Bunga. There is one called Cannabis which is supposed to be hypnotic (1) and a forbidden one called Nude. Oh joy where do I begin with that one...

"...inspired by the smell of a woman's skin when in the state of ecstasy." Ooorrrr, my interpretation, the smell of sweat, jizz, stale alcohol and cannabis, but not the perfume, the real stuff, gasoline, err I mean cocaine and cigarettes. Because I was raised Catholic, it also smells like guilt and sin, like I have done something wrong. In fact it smells like Hell because that is where I would go if it existed, there I said it. It smells like a musty old blues song and me loading my gun as I leave thru the back window. OK, I'm finished.

There is enuff hair on this cooch equivalent to 80 twenty-something females of 2012.

So B16 wears enuff bling to make hip hop artists envy. His ride is the ultimate and it comes with dudes running along side of it. And now he has his own fragrance. To bad we can't buy it. It is exclusively for the Pope. It couldn't be anyother way, peeps. If it was for everyone, then they wouldn't be that exclusive and elitist club that Team Atheist calls the...church.

(1) I have a version of the perfume called Cannabis...it's called smoking weed.

I like blond hair lately.

The Return Of Exorcisms...Again

There is an attempt to return to...exorcisms. Yes, the future is now, well, except when religion is involved. It's the conservative Christian right that wants the return to that 1950's America that may or may not have existed (if your a baby boomer white person. It probably didn't exist for the masses), religion has held back the progress of the mind and the human condition for at least 2,000 years in exchange for clinging to the outdated, harmful and I'll just say it...it stupid.

Growing up a Filipino Catholic there was no way to question the existence of demons and Satan, much less God and as an adult card carrying member of Team Atheist, I see that childlike faith still has it's unreasonable and irrational tentacles wrapped around society. Really, a normal, rational adult is supposed to believe that Satan sends demons to inhabit ones body in the made up battle between heaven and hell. With all we know about brain chemistry and mental illness, there are still factions of society that want to take away personal responsibility and put it on the metaphorical shoulders of a freekin'....demon.

Father Jose Antonio Fortea is a real deal exorcist. He is studying to get his doctorate in theology in Rome and he travels countries lecturing about the many books he has written on the topic of exorcism. He claims that the bible is the best textbook for exorcisms, and that is because Jesus was an exorcist. He is also trying to expand the definition of the possessed to include more subtle demonic mischievous (and I think that is an attempt to drum up more business). He says, "Ever exorcism is a gift that helps us believe." I say, and quote me on this one, " Demons are fake, Satan is fake, exorcisms are fake, but brain chemistry and mental illness are as real as I'am sexy...and humble." Quote me on that one.

In an effort to eliminate the competition, he claims that exorcisms are necessary often times when people practice something called Santeria, which to me sounds like a delicious alcoholic drink one enjoys in the summertime with friends, as well as magic, witchcraft and that super evil and destructive demon, New Age philosophy. It's really quite ingenious of "them"...eliminate the competition. It's basic economics, folks.

"Oh wait, you're not a boy. I'm sorry miss. Tell your brother to come see me in the rectory. Sorry our inside joke."

Oh, pray tell (I'm not sure what that means)...I can go on and on. I'll end with this...

"Demonic spirits take over the body, not the soul, he said, which is why the sacrament of confession is more important for the average Catholic than exorcism (link)."

There are no such things as demons, only brain chemistry and I'd rather go to see a psychiatrist than go into some box and tell some boy fucker all the weird, cool and sinful things that I have done (I'd be scared they're wacking it in there and I was raised Catholic and I always went to confession and I always told the truth, like I do now. ie "Father forgive me for I have sinned, I have smoked the weeds, talked back to my parents  and I felt a cute white girls booty....and I liked it. A lot...a lot. Forgive me father, I'am with sin. Yuckie). While the world is sending their best and brightest to the states for education in science and technology (for them to return to their countries), lazy, uneducated, uber religious, fat, stupid and blind Americans are believing in frackin' demons, when they should be getting real scientific medical attention.

 Previously

 Here also