Two Blog Posts In One

I couldn't atheist blog yesterday, I had to work a stupid St. Patty's Fest thingy. You know what...drunk people are super annoying. Oh well you do what you halfta do to eat-n-shit (one day I will not be poor).

A while back I said I wuz a-gonna go over all the logical fallacies (but I really only posted, like, once on that), so here's another one. Today at the mighty Atheist Revolution @vjack talked about the fallacious and delicious...red herring.

I dunno if this is even a red herring. Whatevah.

First of all a logical fallacy is a mistake in reasoning. There are a million ways to do this, hence a million  different fallacies that Team Atheist must learn. Why. Because weeeeeee are on the side of reason/reasoning. I personally do not want to be a Team member that says stupid shit while other Team Atheist members roll their eyes. We are better than that, or at least...we should be.

Red Herring...Lil did this atheist know but the term red herring comes from super gross fox hunting. A stinky and red fish (the red herring) was used to obstruct the fox's sent from those blood thirsty hounds chasing said fox (who does this...I dunno). So the red herring argument is something stupid that takes the attention away from the real topic. It is a distraction of sorts. It is irrelevant. It is, in Kriss-speak...stupidhead.

Bad human, BAD.

Let's see if I can give a good example of this. In mystery novels you are trying to, guess, solve the mystery. But an innocent character is introduced, but you don't know that character is innocent and in fact, you think that character is the loser that committed the crime and unbeknownst to you-you are wrong. You were distracted and you were thrown off the sent by this red herring, when obviously...the butler did it.

Let's try another one. We are arguing about the existence of Gawd. It's going well until they say "Well since we don't agree I guess you don't care about humanity." (Is that a good one? I'll admit it if it's not.).

OK, I think I got a good one. Rick "Butt Juice" Santorum when he first first was starting to get attention had a talk at a college when a super awesome co-ed called him out on his stupid stance on gay marriage (he's anti-gay anything). She said something cool like, "Hey Butt Juice LGBT marriage is an independent event from hetero marriage and in no way do loving LGBT peeps getting married have any affect on hetero marriage." Here's his response.

(Not exactly, but he really did say this) " Well, if gay marriage is allowed then why not with two people, or three people. If gay marriage is allowed, then why not with animals. Where does it stop."

OK, I think that was a good one. His answer has nothing to do with the question or the conclusion (gay marriage). It was the definition of distraction.

What my atheist blogosphere mentor @vjack (even tho we have never met) was talking about today was...are we, Team Atheist and those who battle for secular society and equal rights for all (even them), distracted. Are we not focusing our collective energy on the correct thingy. Are we being red herring'd. Go are the article and decide fer yo'sef. In other news...

My depression can make LOL Cats sad. Fuck depression.

My personal battle for sanity and happiness is, well..it could be going better. I do, in my heart believe that the score I keep talking about is still in my favor, but...

I'm not so outta it that I can't notice my low energy or lack of feelings. The thousand yard stare is back and so is the monotone voice. It is sunny right now in Sac Town, but the previous couple of days have been the definition of gloomy. Sucks so bad because I WAS feeling so good. I'm obsessing on random things that should not mean anything to me, and for those who care (you know who you are), that is the beginning of frustration, which leads to the anger. I just got an adjustment on my meds, but perhaps it is too soon to make a diff.

I'm sharing this because so many of you reached out to me this last year with your own stories (thank you) and struggles. All my honesty here on the Six Pack blog is nothing compared to what you have shared with me. I'm a fighter and I'm gonna fight this. I do want so badly to get better. I want so badly to ditch unfeeling and trade it with happiness. What I do not want is to go thru what I went thru last year at this time until...well, it never ended (1). What I do not want is to be a physical fighter. I do not want to hurt anyone and I do not want to hurt myself. That is the score. I wish it were different, but that is what honesty is.

Wish me luck.

* Red herring is also something that the Vikings used to eat, and perhaps do now.

* The Sad Season...from last years archives.

* The Fallacy Files...Red Herring.

(1) Nevermind, I'll keep this one to myself.

The Last Time...For those Keeping Score

 Howz about an incoherent rambling post off the top of my head with no notes-haven't done one of those in a while. So I've been on the "zac" aprox 40 days. It take 4-6 weeks to kick in (actually saw positive results earlier), but I was thinking (which is good, cause...anyways...), it took months to get all fucked up and depressed and it probably will take months to shake it off. As I recall the last time I took the "zac" a couple of months went by and one day I realized that the cloud was gone (as well as the anxiety and excessive worry.) Still waiting for that one day, but it is really looking better.

Of the past 40 days, I've only had two nervous breakdowns and as time goes it gets better and better. I'm still not 100%, whatever that is. Aprox 50 days ago I was in if I go to sleep and never wake up, that would be cool. 50 days, apparently, is an eternity and a  lot can happen-like not wanting the sleep. If I never reacted totally lamely and broke down and started man crying at the drop of a , err, hat, is that the saying, then that would be fine with me. At the end there I was getting quite good at it. I would cry and just keep doing whatever I was doing and I had no shame at all or was not embarrassed. Still, I don't want that shit to ever happen again.

My long silky beautiful hair is still in tact, but my Phoney Niner's are not. I guess you can ask 'why' but I won't have an answer. Why did I consider cutting my waist length hair in the first place (or shaving my entire body, even down there), I really couldn't tell ya. I just rolled with it and felt whatever there was to feel. That one day, seriously, only one day, that my ex helped me she said, "Do not make any life changing decisions right now." I followed her advice, even tho she left me the next day (piece of shit. I stayed with her for months helping her with her depression...twice. I only got one day. Needless to say, I let go of Her and now she is her. We had great great times baby, but the shit is over now). But I did make some roll with the punches, at least temporary, decisions.

As of right now I'm not listening to music. I know...WTF. Really, it doesn't do anything for me. Before this episode of depression I would tap my toe and bang out a rhythm to any song that I could hear. It didn't matter if it was from the 50's, 70's or any decade, or any style for that matter, I felt it in my heart. It did something for me and to me. It is just like love. Love moves you, it makes you feel certain ways...music no longer does anything for me (and that is listening and playing it). I can't explain it. It might come back. I really don't know.

Remember the classic, is it philosophy or psychology class, where you learn that not everyone see's the same 'blue' that you see. I may see 'blue' as a different 'blue' to you, but we can agree that what we are pointing at is blue, anyways...It's all in the brain. Whether it is agreeing that a certain color is blue or coming to a consensus on what is right or wrong, or belief in gawd for that matter. That perception is directly influence by chemicals in the brain (the correct mixtures and levels), and without it a depressed brain like mine will have trouble deciding what is 'blue', or even more importantly, what is right and wrong. To say that I had no control, just one month ago, is not giving the depression enuff props. In fact, it controlled me, entirely.

Now I have things back, that the depression took away from my. For the longest time, I did not own any of my thoughts-they just ran day in day out, not anymore. My full range of feelings has returned. @burnttorange tweeted me last week that I "smiled", and that is how fucked up it has been. So I lost music and the Phoney Niner's (I can always go back to that shit, so don't trip), but I'm willing to cut my losses. I really don't care about those things, when I have my brain power back. Now I can read for hours and hours again (50 days ago it took 20 minutes to read a basic newspaper article), I have the full range of thoughts feelings and emotions and dagnabit...I don't want to lose that again.

...and that is the score....Flueoxitine Forever.