Worst Advertising, Evah

I really like good, no...great advertising. Clever and catchy selling is a great and under-appreciated art. But when the advert' is dookie, then that is bad...real bad. The brainiacs at the Heartland Institute obviously do not know science (or statistics for that matter), and equally, they do not know good advertising.

Heartland Institute is a think tank and their objective is to "debunk(ed) the hysterical claims of radical environmentalists." Meaning...they do not believe that Global Warming is influenced by fossil fuel burning humans. Currently they are involved in something called Fakegate. They claim that someone stole documents from them and are using them to spread the lie called global warming (gee, I wonder who's telling the truth). As if climate denial was not enuff, they made this stupid billboard (above).

I've got one word for the think tankers at the Heartland Institute...Correlation does not imply causation. (The sound you just heard is Team Skeptic collectively sayin' "duh.")

The Unabomber still believers in Global Warming. First of all I didn't know that was his belief previously and secondly, I don't see why it even matters. Are we supposed to think that if you (correctly) believe in Global Warming, then you will more than likely...blow shit up. Riiiiiighhhtttt.

It's just like thinking that the full moon has something to do with crime, or that the ways the planets align will have some kinda affect on the way a person acts: correlation does not imply causation. So what if Ted believes in G-warming. Not only do the dots not connect, there are no dots, period.

Lemmie show you dots that connect. The more educated a person becomes the more likely they will have an analytic brain and if one has an analytic brain then they are more likely to become an atheist. The relationship is causal (is that a word, or did I just make shit up. anywho...).

I quickly went to their homesite and I didn't see anything about religion, but history tells me that Gawd told them that he controls the weather and that is why they do not believe in Global Warming, or causation implies correlation.


* Fakegate in their words.

* Source article

* Real Clear Politics on Fakegate

Never Apologize For Comedy, Never

Rumor mill stuffs...Mo Do to replace my hero, Hitch, at Vanity Fair.

Ya know, I try and imitate my favorite journalist, Mo Do, by making funny names for all the key players. For example she called Chenney, Darth Chenney and the super awesome Black Prez, The One. I used to call Bill "I always have my panties in a bunch" Donohue, but some genius in the LGBT Blogosphere made a better one. So you know what that means...I'm gonna steal it.

"Jesus' angry older brother", Bill Donohue...guess, has his Catholic panties all bunched up in his super tight arse because Jon Stewart made a funny. Look man, never, never...I mean never, ever apologize for comedy. Just because you don't understand the joke that doesn't mean that others will feel the same way. If it hurts you, then don't watch or listen to the joke. For all you know there are many many people that that particular joke is totally funny, and if it is funny then it's bringing joy and pleasure to the peeps.

After 9/11 there were some good Islamic comedians trying to help the community heal. Some were offended and some were pleased. I totally used to hate Don Rickels and that was because I didn't understand his comedy when I was a kid. Now I look back at his material and think it's the funniest shit, evah. Of course Catholics like "Jesus' angry older brother" are not going to like the late great George Carlin, but that doesn't mean that the opportunity should be taken away (censor) from others. That is what is happening right now.

Angry Bill is so angry at Jon Stewart that he is contacting all, and I do mean all, of the sponsors to encourage them to dump the show (how does that go, "mmm, yea it's Angry Bill, I have been offended and now I want you to end your relationship with this sick ass show that benefits your company. Thank you."). Good luck with that Bill.

This is what gets me. We, Team Secular, often times fight for everyone's freedom. The freedom of speech and the freedom of choice. We may not agree with what you halfta say, but we can agree that you have the right to say it. Control is one of the many reasons I became an atheist. How dare Bill attempt to take away something that gives many pleasure, comedy.

Offended by the good ol' manger in the crotch joke. It's always funny...to me.

* Kellogs tells Angry Bill STFU.

Christian Double Speak Gobbly Goup

Meh, I'm not teh gay. I just look great.

When the so called Christian leadership continually, time after time, does the bad ol' "Don't do as I do, do as I say", ya know the hippo-crit route, the two faced fakey fake, the lying outta yo teeth-lying, then it is now wonder that the youth are leaving the faith of their parents and grandparents at exponential rates. God and Jesus are totally and fully love. It's all good and great and peaceful...well, except when it's not all good or all great or all peaceful.

This one has been brewing for a couple of days and it will  not go away, in fact it is so prevalent that a Nor Cal stoner blogger like me has given up many chances to write about this, but the opportunity is still, unfortunately, there (or is that here).

Pastor Stupid Head, the other day said the stupid head and pretty much said...kick the shit outta your teen that thinks s/he is gay, because that will work. Since then he has been in retraction mode, big time.

"The purpose of this document is to issue an official statement of retraction of any and all words that suggest that child abuse is appropriate for any and all types of behaviors including (but not limited to) effeminacy and sexual immorality of all types. I should not have said what I said about “cracking,” “punching,” and particular bias toward outward attraction of girls. Nor should I have used the words “special dispensation.” I did not say that children should be squashed. I have never suggested children or those in the LGBT lifestyle should be beaten, punched, abused (physically or psychologically) in any form or fashion. The gospel is the only source of power sufficient to deliver anyone from the power, penalty, and presence of all forms of sin including, but not limited to, all forms of sexual immorality including homosexuality ( more goodies here)."

I didn't have the heart to Google "beat up gay dudes" so I Googled "beat up car." Yuck.

Look man. I don't see godless liberals misspeaking all of the time. Right now Roger Clemens is on trial and he, infamously, said, " I misspoke." How many times have we seen the Republican Right, when called out on things like scientific fact, say "well, that's not what I meant." Look at their clergy and their religion. When it fits, then it's symbolic, but when they are trying to brainwash and instill fear, then it's "this is fact. The erffs was created in 7 days (biblical days that is), Adam and Eve are fer' reel, etc..."

Now we have Pastor Stupid Head saying "I didn't mean (literally)kick the shit outta your teen that thinks s/he is teh gay. I meant kick the shit outta your teen that thinks s/he is teh gay."

No wonder their numbers are dwindling. No frackin' wonder....

----------------------------------------------------

What I never went to Joe. My. Blog. before. It's really good. In fact if you need godless LGBT news, you know.

I Can't Quit You, Baby

I haven't done this in a while and I promised myself that I was not gonna do it anymore. In fact, didn't we collectively say that we are ALL not doing that anymore. I guess I fell off the wagon this morning. I dunno  what I was thinking, or better yet, I wasn't thinking. Wha'...my drinking, no. My weed smoking. No. I thought we were all gonna quit the Huff Po, right.

It was so funny the other nite when the awesome Black Prez congratulated Arriana (hellllooooo, I'm Kriss) for winning that journalism award for..."linking" and "not paying the writers", then he pauses and then says, "That's a good business model." If you haven't seen the Corespondents Dinner check it out. Sooooo teh funnziez. Anyhoo...

So I went to the news paper that is, pretty much, a link round up everyday and I got this gem...(Read this is a big Gawd voice.)...THE END IS NEAR, again. If I have not written about this guy before, then my Mighty Atheist Blogger Card should be revoked. I'm sure I must have at least mentioned Jesus Christ himself, the real one, the one we all have been waiting for, yes, that Jesus...Jose Luis De Jesus that is. Oh yea, and simultaneously he is also the antiChrist (am I supposed to capitalize the "a". I dunno).

Pretty ridiculous that everyone goes to church every Sunday waiting for Jesus to return, but he has totally been in Miami this whole time at his Growing Grace ministry. Not only that. Get ready for this (I'm going cap-lock)...HE SUPERSEDED THE MAYAN CALENDAR THING AND SAID THE WORLD WILL END JUNE 30. That is way before the Mayan one (Dec, 21). You guys know the drill, right.

Erffs quakes-n-shit, "cities will fall", you know the whole 9 apocalyptic yards, but wait...it gets waaaayyyyyyy better. All the "bad seeds" will be destroyed by his father, Gawd, and at the same time Jose, err, Jesus will emerge from this with powers to fly and walk thru walls; which is so baddass.

All the usual evidence is here to support his claims like extreme weather happening all around the world, the economy-n-shit, mysterious things happen-bird die off recently (pathogen), volcano's (Mexico) yada yada yada...Want even stranger and more stupid head...

His followers call him "Dad" and many get 666 tattooed on their foreheads.      

Really.

* Wiki

* That paper we said we weren't gonna do anymore.

My Opinion: The Raid Redemption

Yea, sooooo, anyways...is it good. Yea, it's totally good. Is it the best that I have evah seen...as the French say, "non." Should you go see it-fo sho. In fact take hella peeps you guys will talk about for the whole next week. They use a really cool martial art called, Silat, which is a good comprehensive street fighting style.

I dunno, I think Easter Condors is better.

Badass Inspiring Story

I don't think I've ever mentioned The Clergy Project here before, but I've known about it for a while. Didn't Dennent start it. Anyhoo...It is a cool online place where clergy can go to transition from Team believer to the Mighty (and I believe correct) Team Atheist. Recall your own personal story and that eureka moment when you admitted or acknowledged that...the probability that there is an all knowing and all powerful and all loving God (that is diest-y and doesn't interfere with human affairs, much less a specific and particular God that can be boxed into a name like Lutheran, evangelical, Protestant, born again, whatevah) is veeeeerrrrryyyyyyyyy small (and yet, fer all we know, there is). Now imagine how shocking it would be for a clergy peep, with a congregation and all. Yea, that's a lot.

This one particular guy is made of cool and I think that it shows a step by step, or how incremental, the process is.

"Jerry Dewitt went from respected pastor with a vibrant congregation to an atheist without a job (Thanks RNS)."

Yea, that's God's love. Me personally I don't give a shit if my family knows that I'm an atheist (I only talk to my brother and sister), but I know that it means a lot to so many wanting to come out (don't forget the Out Campaign either). So for the normal peep it teh tuffs and for the clergy peep it everything.

Think about it: it is your job, your livelihood, your community, your passion, even your downtime. It is your freekin' everything. That is one of the reasons why The Clergy Project is so important. It is one opportunity, one avenue, that these people can turn to and explore in a time when they need help. That is awesome, I say.

OK, back to Jerry. First he thought about hell and the stuff like if a person is good, but doesn't subscribe to my particular splinter cell of the Jesus Cult, then why doesn't that person go to heaven (I dunno if he was influenced by that Rob Bell book that came out a while ago, but it sounds like it). So at one time he went the "there is no hell rout." After that the house of cards will fall.

If there is no hell, then there is no heaven. If they lied to me about this, what else did they lie about (the day Jesus was born, who wrote the gospels, are Adam and Eve and Noah historical, did humans and dinosaurs walk the erffs at the same time....).

I end with this show stopper, super epic quote. Jer' was asked to pray for a sick friend, but dude knew by this time (25 years in the making) that...

“I could not do it,” he said, as the hall grew quiet. “At that moment my conscience outweighed everything else in my life. ... No matter how much I loved her, I knew the best hope for her situation was a good medical staff and I wasn’t going to pretend there was anything better for her than science and reason (RNS)."


"Nuff said."

* The Clergy Project

* Billiards master, John over at his site, I dunno if you guys evah heard of it so just check it out, has an article today from someone else from The Clergy Project. It's good, no...great stuffs, yo. 

* There are many ways to debunk religion, any of them. There is philosophy, any one of the sciences and there is fighting fire with fire. I like the approach of debunking Christianity with Christianity. And who know better than clergy how to do that. 

Suicide, Depression And Rock & Freekin' Roll

I guess last nite was the tribute concert fer freekin' Bad Motto Scooter, Ronnie "Freekin" Montrose. It's so sad. Am I at the age (43) where peeps I looked up to growing up are just straight up dieing right now. Last year it was "The first in Rock" Ronnie, this year Montrose and even Dick Clark-he was forever young, not.

I'm at a loss of what to say, which is very rare for me. Montrose committed suicide because he gave in to depression. Can't say I blame him. It's tuff you guys...it's really fuckin' tuff (I'm still in the game, please don't worry). When you add music to the equation...then it's a whole different ballgame.

I'm not old enuff to experience first hand early Montrose, Gamma, and even Haggar. That was more of what my uncles were into. Still, I know the songs. C'mon now "Rock Candy" (I'm your candy baby...I'm hard sweet and sticky) it doesn't get anymore rock and roll than that. The slow drum tempo with the double beat on drums (we all tried to imitate it) and the most powerful of power chords. It's primitive and natural. It was one of my first feelings for music.

It's been a really hard year for me. I haven't played my guitar in months and often times I think about just giving all my equipment away. Summer festival season is upon me and I will have opportunities to go to three day music festivals that put Woodstock to shame (really), but I dunno if I'm going to go. I dunno if I have the heart. Recall the only one I went to last summer was total dookie (I will never never be in that position again). We'll see.

Le sigh.

* Article SF Gate

Richies New Documentary

Spotty crap-ola interbutz right now, so I'm a gonna go short and sweet (just like me). This morning when the internet was better I watched the new Richard "Freekin" Dawkins documentary over at a cool site called Something Surprising. I didn't know a lot of that stuff about him like he lived in Nor Cal for a couple of years, or that he was devastatingly goodlooking back in the day when he had more hair or that he was a hippie. OK, I made up that last part.

Just check it peeps.

Please Don't Revoke My Asian Card

There is a new study out that (correctly) claims that those with an analytical brain (v. the intuitive brain) are more likely to have the ability to question (their) religion and thus join the Mighty Team Atheist (not really, that is what I said. anyhoo...). I might comment on the study later, but first...let's git our math on.

Yessss sir-y folks, howz about some Saturday afternoon math (I'm bored at my weekend job, so WTF). One of the experiments that those cool scientists came up with to determine if you have an analytical brain or a intuitive brain is this...

A baseball bat and a baseball costs $1.10 together, total. The bat is $1 more than the ball,  sooooo kind gentle and very goodlooking readers (who are all know it all skeptics), how much does the ball cost.

If you answered 10 cents then you are a loser and have an intuitive believers brain. If you answered that the ball is 5 cents then you have that awesome analytical atheist brain (I didn't). So WTF.

In this study the intuitive brain is a "gut feeling" "off the top of my head" kinda thing. Without thinking about it one (pretty much everyone) thinks the total is $1.10, something costs $1 more than the other, so subtract $1 from $1.10 and 10 cents is left over, right. no, that is the kingdom called Wrongdom.

The analytical awesome atheist brain doesn't "shoot from the hip" and say the first thing (which is what I did). The analytical brain will go all Spock and automatically crunch numbers and scenarios in that wonderful evolved human brain. Instead of shooting from the hip, the atheist brain calm, cool, calculative and very charming as it is, gets down with the, err, analytics ish stuffs-n-such.

What the peeps that conducted the study claim, and I believe this to be correct, is that if you have an analytical brain then you are more likely to have the tools to question your religion and that leads to...da da daaaaa, Team Atheist, yo.

Don't feel bad, I had to look up the answer...and I'm Asian.

The ball has to cost $0.05, and the bat has to cost $1.05 because 

A. $1.05 + $0.05 = $1.10 

AND 

B. $1.05 - $0.05 = $1.00 

It is common for people who do not think through the problem to respond with $0.10, but this is incorrect because 

C. Although $1.00 + $0.10 = $1.10, 

D. $1.00 - $0.10 = $0.90, which is not $1.00 more, as required by the problem. 

To solve the problem with algebra, it would look something like this: 

Set up the equation: 
x + ($1.00 + x) = $1.10 

Collect like terms: 
$1.00 + 2x = $1.10 

Subtract $1.00 from each side of the equation to isolate the variable, x: 
2x = $0.10 

Solve for x: 
x = $0.05 

Check your work: 
x + ($1.00 + x) = $1.10, so 
$0.05 + ($1.00 + $0.05) = $1.10 

Do the arithmetic: 
$1.10 = $1.10, so the solution is valid.


* Wiki math

* The sometimes good, but not that often CNN Belief Blog.

Special Atheist Goober Nerd Geek Edition

This is the kinda stuffs that makes me heart Team Atheist so much. If you are not into studying Christianity more now as an atheist (than when you were Christian), then this post is not fer you buddy. If you take pride in knowing more about Christianity than the average lay Christian (which is not hard to do) then check this shit out.

Team Atheist's favorite New Testament scholar a one Bart "Freekin" Ehrman just came out with a new book about the historicy of Jesus-that is, did Jesus, a dude walking da erffs, really exist, or is the whole kit-n-kaboodle just straight up made up (which is called the Mythicist position). The always good Religion Dispatches did an interview with The Ehrman concerning the book Did Jesus Exist. So frackin' good, but wait, yo, it gets better. Way better.

Guess who won this one? The dude that always wins.

I haven't said this yet, but The Erhman's position is that yes indeed JC did exist and is not a total fabrication by the powers that be to...err, do whatever it is they were trying to do (consolidate power). Then along comes Richard "Freekin" Carrier. OM(nonexistent)Gawd, oh my Gawd. Dr. Young Face Carrier toooottttaaalllllyyyyyyy dismantles The Erhman's book. And that is not like totally, it's just totally. Really, reading Richy's review is sure to put a smile on your godless atheist faces. It did me. Dr. Richy busted out with "...this is not a book that I can recommend (oh no you didn't bro, yes he did. ouch)."

Then guess what...the Erhman comes back, well sort of. "I never attacked him personally, (he) appears to be showing his true colors." Dammmmmm, Professor Erhman, dam. The Erhman lights up Richy in his .  rebuttal. He even gets a jab in on my favorite cuttie biblical scholar, mythicist, Acharya S. He said she is straight up wrong.

Really peeps check out the links and get your atheist nerd on. Me personally, I'm agnostic on whether Jesus existed or not. If dude did not exist, then let's get down to the bottom of this (it would make the whole debunking Christianity thing a lot easier). If for sure Jesus did walk the earth, then let's stop wasting time on the mythicist position (there are many many ways to debunk Christianity).

I'm a gonna side with what Richy said in that it is disappointing that Erhmans book is not the definitive source on the existence of Jesus that we all hoped it would be (wasn't Carrier gonna write a book about the exact opposite thing). That is why I'm still agnostic on this certain position. Check it out peeps.

Heeeyyyyyy girl. I'm Kriss (the pleasure is all yours. wink wink)

* I haven't read what Acharya S. said about what Erhman said about her work in his book and in the rebuttal. Hopefully a little later today.

Movie Nite

Ya know...I wuz gonna write about all that fantastic reading I did yesterday. First I read the RD interview with Bart "Freekin" Ehrman, then I went on to the Freekin' Richard Carrier, yes that Dr. Richard Carrier, total dismantling of Ehrman new book (which is about the historicy of Jesus), then...then I went to Ehrman rebuttal to Carriers dismantling. And at the end of the day, the question is still not answered...was there a dude Jesus that walked around back in the day, or is it a total made up thing that came from earlier myths and legends-n-shit. Frack that noise..I'm watching movie previews.

Next Tuesday me #teambro and members of the #cutegirlrestaurant will be going to see The Raid Redemption. Just watch the preview...but I will say this...it would be sick if there were a movie like this made to showcase the Filipino martial arts. Just sayin'

Well Played, Young Man

Go Giants

Aubrey "Freekin" Huff. Brother, you are my brother. Hats off to you. I'm proud of you. It is unprecedented and courageous of you. You told the truth. Kind gentle and very goodlooking readers YOU knooooowwwwww my struggles with depression/anxiety this past year (thanks for sticking with me my internet and reality peeps. thanks) and how damaging it can be to the depressed and those around the depressed. Professional sports is super sexist, kinda stupid and super macho. Never show weakness, never let them see you cry or be down. Just win baby, win.

The San Francisco Giants (yippie) put first baseman, Aubrey Huff, on the 15 day disabled list for, get this...."for an anxiety disorder." In this is a great article in SF Chron the author (I didn't see the name) went all full disclosure and shared that s/he also has struggled with anxiety and depression.

If I had a nickel for every time I cried and held my face in my hands, I'd be a...

" I have struggled with whether to say this publicly, and how to do it, but this gives me a good opening. Since 2009 I have been treated for depression, in therapy and medicinally, and continue to be treated. Many awful things happened to me and people around me in a very short time, and my mental health was affected. Anxiety and panic attacks were part of it ( SF Gate)."

Even in this advanced day and age depression and anxiety are seen as weakness or some shit like that. Especially in poor and minority communities it is seen as "there is something wrong with you for choosing this...get your head outta your butt...c'mon now, I get bummed out sometimes also." In fact, all across the board (most) people will say the "pull up your boot straps...mind over matter, you can control this" shit. It's wrong and it's abusive.

Kudos to Aubrey Huff (and the writer) for being honest-n-shit and I hope so much that he is getting the proper (scientific) medical attention. Y'all that have supported me this past year KNOW, but for the peeps that do not have depression and anxiety it's like this...

This is my firearm and it is still not in my posession. Dammmm, I miss you baby. 357 yo.

This year for the first time evah evah...I wanted to kill myself. In fact I had thoughts and fantasies about killin' someone else and I'm a fuckin' hippie. I got depressed and anxious, then that led to frustration because I could acknowledge that this isn't Kriss (but I couldn't change it) and after the frustration came the anger. I think I now know why my father was so fucked up. He had what I have (or visa versa), but he didn't get help so fuck him.

I've been to Kenpo seminars with Jeff (it was just OK).I don't need a gun fer shit.

You can't "walk off" depression and you being "bummed out" then cheering up is an insult to those that have a chemical imbalance (fuck you). I know you mean well but don't ask me if I'm exercising because compared to you...I'm a stud. Why would a person that has a good job, lots of friends, a good social life, a good past and a great future, and that is happy go lucky start closing up and showing anger all the time. That is what depression is.

For the not-depressed you may be sayin' to yourself..."well gee wiz, he's a professional baseball player and a millionaire" what does he have to be depressed about. If you think something like that, then...I can't explain it to you.

"Huff Man" I wish you luck and a speedy recovery. Go Giants.

Kriss

* If you think depression is a choice, then come over to Sacramento and I'll punch you in the face, idiot.

Black Jesus v White Jesus

Hello black folk...I'am the Lord.

Yeah...sooooo anyways, yesterday sucked and my forearm is sensitive right now (I slipped on a piece of ice and smashed this thing with my rock hard elbow...but it doesn't feel rock hard right now) and today is gloomy and drizzely-n-shit. Whatevah...

I've been reading about Black Liberation Theology for a couple of hours now and my brain needs defragging. This is what I have so far...Black Liberation theology is like the Protestant Reformation in that it is a revolution from the white Christian powers that be, the powers that the founders of BLT believed were more about self preservation (that's you Vatican) than about God. In fact the BLT shifted from god to Jesus because they believed that Jesus was more about the po' peeps and an Exodus kinda thingy (one of their messages is the liberation from suffering here on earth, as opposed to getting yours in the afterlife.). Of course that is not what I wanna talk about.

First of all BLT is a new interpretation of the Jesus Cult. The fact that there are so many interpretations, to me, means that there is no one true word of God. If there was a thing as the true word of God, then wouldn't there be only one interpretation (yes).

This second thing is kinda cool. One of the dudes that invented BLT, James Cone, was all WTF, why should gettho brotha's-n-sista's worship a white European Jesus God that looks exactly like the very people that has enslaved blacks stolen form Africa. That is cool, this is where he gets it wrong-ville.

"It's very important because you've got a lot of white images of Christ. In reality, Christ was not white, not European. That's important to the psychic and to the spiritual consciousness of black people who live in a ghetto and in a white society in which their lord and savior looks just like people who victimize them. God is whatever color God needs to be in order to let people know they're not nobodies, they're somebodies." 

If Jesus is God and the holy ghost at the same time, then God cannot be whatever color one wants God to be. If there was a dude named Jesus walking around in hot dusty old Palestine of the day, and he looked like the average Jew, then he looked like this...

That's all I got today.

* Black Liberation Theology

The Buddha Bone(r)...Literally

I used to chant the Lotus Sutra to this thing. What was I thinking.

I used to practice one of the many splinter cells of Buddhism, so ya know I got excited when I was cruising CNN Belief Blog to find out that, yes, a fragment of the skull of Buddha is now on the very rare public display.

In their great kindness, China has allowed Buddha Skull to be displayed in Hong Kong. Yippie. Little did this atheist know, but it is common for China to give gifts like giant pandas to other countries, you know, because their diplomacy is so awesome and all; and included in that is Buddha Skull. It's not only that but some of these crazies also claim to have Buddha's tooth. Yes...a tooth.

Would Buddha even want us to revere his skull fragment. I thought it was more that that.

So yeah if you're in Hong Kong this weekend go check it out (I would rather go to the Bruce Lee museum, but that's me). Anyhoo...while I was researching this the funniest thing happened. Christianity hijacked this post.

No...no, not on their shift. Christianity will not be outdone by a bunch of bald dudes in robes. In the relic wars to attract pilgrims and money the Jesus Cult kicks arse over everyone else.

For example there is the Jesus foreskin (yucky), the "fraudulent or not" Shroud of Turin, the Jesus sponge (in case your one of those bad atheist that do not remember...it was soaked in vinegar, or wine-they can never get their stories straight), and the spear that, mmm, I guess speared Jesus on the cross. Show patience Team Atheist it is not far from over.

There are a million gazillion parishes that claim that they have authentic pieces of the actual cross that dude hung from. The Jesus robe that I talked about the other day. The actual nails (ooohhhh, the nails, and there is debate, cause they can never have one true story, as to whether those muscular Romans used three or four nails. It doesn't matter, there are many more that claim to have the true nails) that were used to, err, nail. There are also blood samples of Jesus and parts of his crown of thorns available for public viewing...that is, if you have a pretty penny to donate to the church.

But my favorite one has gotta be the Holy Chalice. Yes the Jesus mug that inspired that Indian Jones movie, that cup that *allegedly* was used at the last supper so Jesus could drink wine, which is the blood of Christ, which is himself and his father, who is god, and that holy ghost that people keep talking about, with his homies before the nailing, the spearing and the hanging. Is it blasphemous of me to want to drink outta that chalice. Hell, I like me my alcohol and who knows...maybe it gives you super powers.

Or you can go see the Buddha Skull or the Bruce Lee museum in Hong Kong.

* Article Buddha Skull

* Relics of Jesus Wiki

* 4-skin of JC

It's Worse Than We Thought

It is worse than I thought. Kirk "gaydom is unnatural" Cameron's list of "no..no, say it isn't true"is hella long. It's so long I'm going bullet points on this one.

* First the obvious one...he is one of them and they believe that teh gay is destroying America...somehow.

* Public schools are leading the assault on destroying Christianity.

* He has a TV show with Ray Comfort.

* He believes that God ordained America better than the world (American Exceptionalism).

* Dude makes hella "preachy" Christian movies.

* Somehow he is associated with the idiotic Left Behind series.

* "You look at the state of the world we live in and all signs say panic." (wrong-ville)

* I thought he married his TV show sister, but it was really the characters girlfriend. I still that is stupid.

Wow. Those are all WTF shake your head in disgust things. No normal person should be proud of those things. I mean c'mon, Ray Comfort. I always thought that he was the weakest of all the evangelical "big hitters."

Besides that...word around Hollywood is he's a dick.

CCOKC - Child Celebrities Opposing Kirk Cameron - watch more funny videos

Pussy Riot, I Heart You

First of all, this is the very rare third post in one day. Yippie. Second...

Dear Pussy Riot,

Any all female punk band that takes over "holy" buildings to rock out and protest the corruption in Russia and gets arrested (and now faces up to 7 years for...hooliganism, really), any group of hotties that MAKES believers show up in the thousands to pray for...mmm, I dunno what they are praying for, any group that wears costumes (I heart me my rocker ladies in costumes), any group that has Russian bikers against them, any group that speaks out against Russian clergy wearing $40,000 watches, any group of ladies that protest the obvious scam that was last months election (really, did anyone think Putin was NOT gonna win), and any group that has the balls to call themselves Pussy Riot...is OK by me,

Heart Kriss

What's The Ado With Bahrain

Quite simply it's about money, the inequality between rich and poor, upper class v. lower class and Hatfields v. McCoys, occupy movements and the Arab spring...and money. Just that. The Sunni (minority) government with their King, yes a King, rules over the Shiite (majority) peeps. Guess who's rich and who's poor. Guess who has a voice and who does not. The Arab Spring has toppled some authority ruled kingdoms this past year, in a quest for equality and democracy, while others, well...they are still trying. That shit happens all the time. So what is the big dealeo about having one of the riches and glamorous sports in the world, Formula One Racing, coming to Bahrain.

It's all about the discrepancy between rich and poor and the distribution of wealth. Where have we seen this before: a minority government (which usually has lighter skin) rules all over the majority of the peeps (who usually have darker skin) and the rich get richer and the poor get fucked. Gee, I dunno, all over the world where regimes are handed down to offspring (North Korea) for generations, and the people of the land, for decades and decades, keep telling the royalty that they want jobs, education, a voice and democracy (Africa, S.E.Asia, Middle East).

To get a Formula One race in your country is a big deal and what the authorities will tell you is that it is good for the country. What they don't tell you is that it's only good for part of the country, the part ruled by the elites. An F1 race is watched internationally (up to 600 million) which brings a lot of advertising dollars and prestige, not to mention all the tourist dollars, to a place where (almost) no one can point out in a map. But it's good for the country you say, well, that is only if you believe in trickle down economics (I don't believe in that and the reason is that it doesn't trickle down).

Didn't people boycott South Africa back in the day (yes)? Well you say, what about soccer and cricket matches, they go to fucked up places where there is no democracy and the distribution of wealth is unequal. That's true, but as the sayin' goes...two wrongs don't make a right.

Oh and one more thing. There's that Amnesty International thingy..."Despite the authorities claim to the contrary, state violence against those who oppose the Al Khalifa family rule continues, and in practice, not much has changed in the country since the brutal crackdown of anti-government protesters in February and March 2011."

Yea, don't forget that crackdown stuff.

* Four part series Al Jazeera Bahrain crackdown 2011.

* Foreign Policy magazine "Formula Zero"

* NPR Protests Press Bahrain's Formula One Race

* Christian Science Monitor April 20

Shoes To Die for

Wow, super creepy.

I dunno if this is a good thing, a bad thing, or a WTF thing. Fo sho human sacrifice is teh wrong, right. If religion is cultural and helps peeps, then that is OK, right. But what if the religion (from this atheist's point of view) is totally made up and used by drug traffickers to kill. I'll go out on a limb...wrong.

A while ago I wrote about Santa Muerte which is a mix of the bad ol' Catholicism and a voodoo-y looking brown people indigenous religion of the Meh-he-con-oh's. In the Mexican culture death is revered  and Santa Muerte literally means Saint Death. I'm down for cultural religion, myyyyyy beautiful Philippines has a lot of that, but when said religion is hijacked by drug traffickers and they go all human sacrifice-n-shit to some how protect their illegal endeavors, then that is wrong-ville.

Last month 8 peeps were arrested for killing (sacrificing) three people for their satanic ritual. But guess what, I don't want to talk about that. To my confusion Nike has come out with the Nike Dunk High Santa Muerte line.

It boasts "handmade tooling leather, but looks like they have been lasered."

You have the iconic Nike Swoosh and a prominent Santa Muerte, I guess to signify that you are a satanic drug trafficker that is willing to human sacrifice innocent peeps to ensure your "cargo" doesn't get confiscated at the boarder.

Lasty and most yucky...it comes with horse hair (1). The best part...these can be yours for about 60-70 bucks.

Like I said earlier...WTF.

* Santa Muerte Wiki

* Sneaker Files

* Article at Religion Dispatches and you can vote for them for a Webby Award. They are going up against CNN Belief blog which is OK, but compared to RD...it sucks.

* Article Three killed

(1) That is sooooo not desirable to me.

Jails For Jesus Part Deux

You can talk prisoners without mentioning the Filipino prisoners doing Michael Jackson.

I don't lie cheat or steal. I believe that it is so important for Team Atheist to be ethical and moral, first of all because it is the correct thing to do and secondly to prove them wrong (you can be good without God). And yet...I can't help be feel a little bit of schadenfreude-y when I learned of the not exaggerated demise of one Chuck Colson.

If you will recall, kind gentle and very goodlooking readers, I wrote about Chucky and his billion dollar (tax payer billion dollar) enterprise of prison evangelicalism, like, last year-ish. I know y'all read it, but if you will recall in the post Jails For Jesus...

...because of the Bush regime there were drastic cuts in the rehabilitation stuffs that happens in prisons. For example education, access to books-n-interbutz-n-stuff type services were cut to nil and then evangelical Christian organizations stepped in to offer the lost services to the prisoners...but...

...but ya hadta listen to their spiel about Da Savior. Even a Muslim dude was forced to hear the "good word" just to get, like, a book or something. Of course I don't recall everything I wrote a year ago, or yesterday, but you can check out the post here. The main thingy is that Chuck was instrumental in the billion dollar Christian brainwashing industry that filled the void when the economy went to shit and prison rehabilitation services went the way of the doe doe.

So Chuck died at age 80. Listen angry atheist, would we have gotten hella angry if they celebrated when my hero, Hitch, recently passed away...yes. I'm sure sure Chuck had family and friends that loved him and will miss him...it's just that I don't think that peeps in prison that sincerely want to be rehabilitated will miss his God talk in exchange for books-n-stuffs.

Oh yea...Watergate.

* O-bit Huff Po

* Jails for Jesus

Will The Real Jesus Please Stand Up

If I had a nickel for everytime I drank and danced with a drunk 50 something white lady, I'd have $2.35.

While some of us will be participating in Drinko de Mayo, the less fortunate will be pilgrimaging  to a church in Germany to celebrate the 500th anniversary of the Holy Seamless Robe of Jesus. This year will be awesome because all denominations will be invited and they are going for that unity thang, and good for them. But wait...

OK we have the fakey fake Shroud of Turin, assorted Jesus statues crying their tears of rust and condensation, Shadow Jesus I talked about the other day and now Seamless Robe Of Jesus. First of all...

White pointy nosed Jesus is extrapolated from the Shroud. The real Jesus is made from real Israeli skulls.

Supposedly this is the robe that Jesus wore right before his not exaggerated demise. For whatevah reason the guards were going to rip it up into pieces so each could take a piece home (really, they wanted that.wtf) but they realized that it has no seams, they realized that it is woven in one piece. So they rock paper scissors (I made that up) to see who got to keep the stinky robe of a dude that was gonna be executed, even tho they hella executed many peeps back in the day. And now it is in a church in Germany where it is celebrating it's 500th anniversary and of course many many peeps go to see it and the local economy thrives.

Don't fer git Vine Jesus.

Should I go Shroud of Turin on this one. No I've already done that one. Lemmie talk about the real Jesus. Is this the robe of a 6ft Caucasian man with a pointy white dude nose, or is this a robe of a person that chilled in that day and time.

Jesus was Jesus right. So what did the average Jewish peep look like back in the day. First of all, dude wasn't white. He look more like Palestine style (brown). Peeps back in the day were not 6ft, the were more like five foot one-ish (in that Gore Vidal book he's hella short and three hundred pounds. fiction meets life).

Will the real Jesus please stand up. "I'am standing up."

"The result is shown in the left portrait above: a person with abroad peasant's face, dark olive skin, short curly hair and a prominent nose. His height would have been on the order of 5' 1"; he would have weighed about 110 pounds. Alison Galloway, professor of anthropology at the University of California in Santa Cruz , said that: "This [portrait] is probably a lot closer to the truth than the work of many great masters (link)."

So I guess we can just use common sense on this one. Is the robe one that fits a small dude (which is actually my size. hey...I'm Jesus) that is 5.1 and 110 lbs, or is it a huge robe that fits a huge white guy (yes).

The church needs money and there is no better way to raise money then deceiving innocent brainwashed peeps to travel to you country to gaze upon an ancient relic that you savior supposedly wore before he got crucified (like a common criminal back in the day).

I guess one cool thing is...is the robe really without seams. That's kinda cool. I'd check that out.

* Shroud of Turin. An interesting guy made a comment and I linked him up. He poo poo'd my work. You decide.

* What did Jesus really look like from the awesome Religious Tolerance dot Org

* Wiki The Seamless Robe of Jesus

* My go to spot, RNS The holy robe of Jesus

The Great Nun Conspiracy of 2012

Dear Gawd, thanks for waving your magic cloudy hand and making all the news this week prove my point that if religion is to survive in the upcoming decades, then it must shed all the stupid stuff like the sexism, the anti-awesome LGBT'rs and shit like that.

Kriss

No...cereal-y...religion is proving my point for me and for that I give much thanks. This time, oh boy, this time it is such a doosie. I really could have written this up any more perfect for my secret atheist agenda. Here's the nut shell...the largest affiliation of nuns here in the states had to be "reined" in by the Vatican because, get this, because they are not towing the line when it comes to traditional Catholic values.

So saith the Vatican, these people that have dedicated their lives to the poor and suffering (nuns) are not outspoken enuff on abortion, contraception and LGBT stuffs. These nuns are so outta line that the Vatican hadta appoint a bishop to oversee this returning to traditional Catholicism thingy, really.

The nuns group, Leadership Confrence of Women Religious, now is being baby sat by Seattle Archbishop Peter Sartain...yes, that Perer Sartain. And remmber this is because LCWR is going sorta liberal and helping people...all people. In the meantime the Vatican is welcoming into their fold (while giving them hella power) a right wing religious group who's intent is to bring back the fire and brimstone Catholicism, you know traditional (Society of St. Pious X).

So WTF. The mighty Vatican is suppressing the lady nuns and empowering an ancient *society* of dudes with ancient rituals-n-stuff. Is Dan Brown dead yet, because if he is...he's rolling in his grave (or not).

Kate isn't all that. I work next to a college. Just sayin'.

* Article with facts-n-stuff

* If you don't know who Dan Brown is, then UR straight up stupid.