First Sighting O' Da Year

It's the first one this year and it's pretty good. Welcome back Tortilla Jesus.

Is this really the first sighting of the holy one. No, not the Flying Spaghetti Monster (no sightings as of yet as far as I know), the other so called holy one-Jesus. It has been a while since I've had the opportunity to write about how our brains trick us into thinking we see something that is not there, aka pareidolia (an elephant in the clouds, a face in a vase, etc...), until...Thank God for Anderson Cooper.

The other night our Team member (he is on our Team, right?) did a story about a dude in New Mexico that, wouldn't ya know it, saw Jesus in his tortilla (above and I know, why always bread products). Truly *miraculous*.

Coop actually goes over many of the Jesus types of sightings, like "Him" and "his mom" on a pancake

or the good ol' Vine Jesus (looks just like Him, right),

or another very good one, the Wallmart receipt Jesus...

...but don't forget the momz, never do that. Here's the fried potato Virgin Mary...

...kind gentle and very goodlooking readers, you know I heart me my LOL Cats...I can haz toast...

...(which reminds me, I should Google "stuff on my cats head". haven't done that one in a while). Here's an oldie but a really goodie. Probably one of the best I have ever seen. Ladies and Germs...Cheezus

You want more. OK, then....Bill doesn't know what pareidolia means (like most nonskeptic peeps)

..and finally, the best of the best. This is the Michael Jordan of Jesus pareidolia. There are a lot of good ones, no, great ones out there, but this one has it all. It looks good and it's totally funny and sooooo blasphemous. you know the ones Team Meany Blasphemous Atheist....Dog Butt Jesus.

Is this a different dog. Can't be...there can only be ONE TRUE DOGBUTT JESUS. One.

Beware of the false (prophet) Dogbutt Jesus' out there. there is only One True Dogbutt Jesus.


Is being a skeptic and an atheist totally funny. I think so.

Lates.

Update: I incorrectly said that it was a fried potato Virgin Mary, but it is really a dried mango Virgin Mary. I'd like to apologize to all the dried mango Virgin Mary fans out there. Sorry for the mix up.

The Super Windy Day Roundup

There is just too much epic news to not do a roundup today. So here we go.....

A jailed Afghan rape victim has been released from prison...to marry her attacker (I know, WTF). The altruistic one, Afghan president Hamid Karzai, released a women named Gulnaz. Gulnaz gave birth to her attackers child while locked up. Her lawyer says that if she had a choice in the matter, she would not marry her attacker. Epic humanity fail. So freekin' bad.

University of Columbia psychologists have completed a study confirming what we already know...believers do not trust atheists. After scanning the article and actual survey it seems to me like the girlfriend/boyfriend test. Apparently believers will automatically trust you if they know you have faith. Likewise, if someone is in a relationship, then they must be pretty awesome sauce. And I'll just say it, if you are not in a relationship...then there must be something wrong with you (1). Sorry.

Nothing says Gawds love like "We do not want you here and you can't join our exclusive group because you are....black (gasp!). A small Kentucky church has voted (9-6) that interracial couples cannot participate in church activities or become members. Funerals are the exception.

They say it is just a co-winki-dinki, but the newest Apple iPhone will not direct you to an abortion clinic. I don't have a phone, but I guess there is an application that directs you to anything you want: looking for a place to buy dinner, an umbrella, directions. One critic said the classic and one of my favorites blasts, "There is something rotten in the state of Denmark." Smells like dominionism to me (but ya can't trust me, I'm on Team Atheist.).

Team Skeptic already knows this, but the world will not end in 2012. I believe it was last week that archaeologists found/produced a second stone tablet that went all prophecy-y on the end of the world. Sven Gronemeyer (if that is your real name) said that it is about a new era, not the end of the world and time as we know it. Pretty interesting article and while reading it I couldn't help but think...this shit is as batshit crazy as Scientology. Really, read it, so bizarro good.

This headline says it all..."Four from Amish splinter group held for beard cutting attacks." One of the Golden Rules is....never touch an Amish mans beard, right(?).

Lastly, make yer own Jesus toast.

(1) I've been single for, like, ten years. Is there something wrong with me. Where do I even begin.

The Most Awesome Thing You Will See Today

Be prepared for the most awesome thing you will see today. I wanna say it's pareidolia, but technically, it is not.  Kind gentle and very good looking readers I present to you...The Jesus toaster. Yes, the Jesus toaster. that is two things...in one. Jesus. Toaster. Put them together and you have...The Jesus toaster.

Burnt Impressions is the idea of an absolute genius; genius I tell you. Galen Dively already had his successful ( a couple of hundred, total) toaster business that sold toasters that could burn a peace sign or pot leaf onto you bread product; but when he busted out with the Divenly inspired Jesus toast, sales really took off (100 a day).

Sales have been so good Dively has branched out with an Obama toaster, dog paw and, of course, The Virgin Marry toaster. But of course sales are so good, check out this epic advertising...

"Normal toasters are tame and subdued by unfortunate limitations; but great toasters rise above them and become Burnt Impression toasters."

Before this endeavor, Dively sold tye-dye tee-shirts. Go figure.

* Article

* Beyond ordinary toast. Buy here.