Unedited Raw First Draft Kriss

This was my Beatles moment. After this...ever thing changed.

OK, it's time to whip it out...no not the  Fil-Am bamboo (that's a joke for my dick), my skeptics card, silly. Soooo there is a new study that concludes that the super stupid teen birth rate is down. In fact it is the lowest in many years. You can read the USA Today's hows and whys here, or you can trust this (slightly gloomy) atheist-skeptic.

It's a chicken egg thingy. Are the stupid teens of right now having less children, compared to previous generations, because there is better sex education or, as the article claims, teens are having less sex. Please. Fuckin' please. This is the part where the abstinence police claim victory and it is all the part where I slap people in the head and say, "WTF." Riiiigghhhhtttt, today's teens, in comparison to previous generations, are just not interested in teh sex and are doing it less therefore teh stupid head teen birth rate is lower (or what I said). I have one thing to say about that...common sense, statistics and please, fuckin' please.

This is the winner of this years Hunky Jesus contest. rock-n-roll Jesus.

This is from the other day but still, it's gotta be the baddest arse headline of the day...Praying for God To Hurt Someone Is Not Illegal, Judge Rules. A Dallas judge sayith so, well, that is unless someone actually gets hurt ( that would mean that prayer actually worked. so saith me). Imprecatory prayer, I believe-correct me if I'm wrong-is praying for other people and that includes the positive and negative.

Our guy Mikey of the mighty MRFF said that a military chaplain tried to go all voodoo, I mean put a curse, err, I mean prayed negatively in his direction (what's the difference, right) wanting the downfall of his family and the MRFF (if that is God's love, and it is, then I don't want any of that shit. sounds like hate). Psalm 109, yes that Psalm 109, calls for death of an opponent and bad things to happen to the wife and kids. Forget that that is super bad negative and hate-y and typical Christinism.

This is a cake and eat it also situation. Believers want Team Atheist to believe that there is an all powerful and all knowing God that listens and ACTS, that is responds, to/on prayer...except when it doesn't work. On one hand you halfta believe and pray to our specific and particular God (or go to hell) and this shit really really works, but on the other hand...it doesn't work and don't put us in jail because we were just kidding and didn't really pray for you demise, Mikey. Religion, Hippo-crit much. Yes.

The clothing police are out there...and they're gonna git ya. No messages on tee shirts allowed, not even positive ones, or ones with a different interpretations of that something something topic that is so emotionally charged and potentially violent. Oh Middle East why...not this time kind gentle and very good looking readers (how about tgavglr from now on. there I made a new word thingy)...Welcome to America...

I it prejudiced of me to say teh gay is always cute and adorable. Ok, then.

Ya know earlier when I was flippin' the pages of my copy of the mighty Dalton Daily News and I was reading about that cool high school kid that wanted to wear a shirt that says "Jesus is not a homophobe" on the day the school was acknowledging April's national Day of Silence, yo know, to show his support in the campaign against bullying of LGBT peeps-because it is the right thing to do, but he hadta turn the shirt inside out (and I dunno the reason but I can guess) and First amendment this and that. We all know the drill, right. Anyhoo...

This is what I like about Team Secular...we all have the same rights, or we don't. I don't like the message a super racist fanatic religious looney (no offense to my cool religious looney fiends) has on his sandwich board sign looking like a bizarre psycho (and really doing his message teh wrong because he looks so crazy), but dude has the freedom/right to do that...just like us.

I'll just say it... Bubba is a fat black guys name. What, we were all thinking it. Ooookkkaaayyy then. I see how guys are.

I dunno how I feel about LGBT peeps and their gay Jesus. I guess I'm cool with that. It just seems that I wouldn't want to be a part of a team that didn't want me part of the team (but if my LGBT peeps need and want a gay Jesus, then who am I...).  Besides that...my clean cut and youthfully handsome tee shirt wearing homie is killin' it. I dunno. If the message that Jesus is accepting of everyone and love is cool and all that, then awesome. It really is. But the reality that Christianity can imitate  Mitt Romney's Etch A Sketch, that it is so vague, that it can be molded into any style one wants (1) into ANYONE'S interpretation and whim (really, look at all the ridiculous splinter cells of the Jesus cult)...doesn't that make it hella lame. Yes.

Bono is in Israel. I didn't read the article but it looked hella small. One day when I'm Bono popular (so popular that italics are used) I'll just Tweet (@thesexyatheist) that shit. Kiss is in Israel. Kriss is at the Death Grips show supporting their anticipated new album. Kriss is smoking weed behind the dumpster at the #cutegirlrestarant. Bono is Irish Catholic (correct me if I'm wrong)...maybe he's there to destroy it (ha ha).

I don't know what this is.

Master's Champion, Bubba Watson, want's you to know what they all want you to know, whether you want to know or not (but you've heard it before a million gazillion time before anyways...), it doesn't matter if you are arguing with your soon to be ex girlfriend, or if you are puking on the sidewalk (I've neeevvvveeeerrrrrr done that), having a cigarette break in the few moments of sun that you will get that day, the TV show you were watching, then this, the pareidolia, the Country Music Awards, at work, on the bus, not on the bus, some where anywhere, there could be a bus, or not, who cares, shit maybe you're riding your bike (because you live in flat Sacramento), even at church, they do this shit at church (ha ha)...they and Bubba (who names their kids Bubba, really) want you to know what they want you to know...

"Jesus loves you."

There is a big wheel race after all the blasphemy.

* Day in day out RNS is sooooo good. Religion Dispatches is a close second. Be one of those know it all atheist...check 'em out. Team Forevahhhhh

(1) This is the opposite of what I urge and believe that religion must do to survive into the upcoming decades, evolve.

* Hoz about no editing today. This is raw first draft Kriss...I feel so naked...n-shit.

Update: The article didn't say that, it was commentary on a different site, yo.

Giving Credit And Hints

(This is not a hint.)

I give credit where credit is due, that is just how I roll. I also do the opposite (which is pretty much, talking shit. annyhoo...). There is a place I go for religious commentary and, well, it pretty much sucks everytime. I won't say where/who it is, but I will say that today we are on the same page (credit).

We can agree that, esp. in this election cycle, the current propaganda from the religious is all, and I do mean ALL, hype. The ruckus that they want you/us to believe is that their religious liberty is being infringed upon by the super awesome Black Prez's contraception mandate. It's not true.

What is it about freedom here in American. First of all, we are not free to do anything we want. If our freedom hurts others, then we are not free to do that endeavor. I imagine that back in the day all the slave owners were saying the same exact things that religious folk are sayin' today like, "it's tradition to own slaves, my ancestors and their ancestors have done it," or the super stupid and yucky, "it's in the bible, God said it's cool, so there."

Those "arguments" didn't makes sense back then concerning slavery and they certainly don't make sense today concerning the whole contraception v. religious liberty whoopla. Is their point of view really about controlling women and their bodies because the bible said so, or is it about  so called "religious liberty."

 I just wanted to bust out with the very rare breakfast blog post and give some love to (blank blank).
Sorry I think your work is usually dookie...it's good today, tho.

* That wuz quick. Here's an Update from that place I go everyday and like it sooooo much. RNS.

The Stupid, Alaskan Airlines and Prayer Cards

Gordon Bawker the co-founder of Starbucks and delicious Redhook Ale, used to travel on Alaskan Airlines. AA, until recently, would drop a freekin' prayer card on your diner tray (I know, it's the 2,000's right). I can sort of forgive himfor putting small coffee shops outta business (not really) because he would remain silent, then when the plane took off, then he would recite the prayer out loud. I don't know you, but I don't want people sayin' out loud on this flying-sky-chair-tube thing, the thing that possible could crash and kill everyone, "the meek shall inherit the erffs (that or, "we're all gonna dieeeeeee.").

Do my Eskimo bro's and sis' really want their 'mugs' of planes. Were they even asked?

Here's the super stupid coming from the upper echelon, 1%'er's, the CEO and the president...

"...we've heard from many of you who believe religion is inappropriate on an airplane." Ugh, ya think. This is everything to me. This is the difference to an apologetic Kriss 2011 and angry atheist Nu Kriss, bitter, angry and in yo face, beeotches. Last year at this time, i might have let it pass without a thought. now, no frackin' way.

This should be a prayer card. It's inspiring.

Instead of "inappropriate behavior on a plane" I think dude should have said the correct and said, public place. People should be better than this, esp people in leadership positions. Really, did any Jews, Mooslims, or atheists eveah travel on Alaskan Airlines. It only takes common sense to see that that is inconsiderate at best. Here;s the other part of the quote the two brainiacs came up with in their memo...

"This difficult decision was not made lightly...Some of you enjoy the cards and associate with our service..."

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. This is what I was talking about earlier with the plus one. Really...really, there were customers/people that associated doing your job, the thing that everyone has to do, doing your job correctly and well (everyone is expected to do that and when you do, you don't get credit, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO THAT.) with those stupid prayer cards (name them, I doubt it). You go to work and do your job and it is a choice to give credit to God afterwards, not a requirement (See previous post).

I Googled "prayer cards."

 This is also Christian privilege. Some "higher up" decided long ago that s/he would promote their religion (after all, what's the harm, right) so they insisted and implemented giving out prayer cards to customers on a public flight, irregardless of belief or lack of. 


It's not that big of deal-eo tho. It's only been happening sicne the 70's and years ago, to save money, they only gave the cards out in first class. I guess only the 1% can be saved.

* There is an article about this on NPR, but I'm linking the mighty Seattle Times instead.

Linky Link Linkville Of The Atheist Variety

My reader is totally awesome today. The last couple of months of last year it seemed to me that the atheist blogosphere was getting smaller as well as the amount of everyday bloggers. I subscribe to a million gazillion blogs and everytime I find a new one, no matter how small or new it is...I subscribe to it. Today, I'm proud to announce, my reader is killin' today.

Sounds laborious to me. I'd rather have experience, ya know, an equal.

Peeps, if I have said it once, I have said it so many times, the civil rights movement, the LGBT movement and the feminist movement are the pioneers to The New Atheists. We can learn from their struggles and success. Blackfemlens, today, reminds us of the Jan 22 anniversary of Roe v. Wade (yes, THAT Roe v. Wade). Together we can do this thing.

If Andy ran for president...I would totally vote for him. President of what, I dunno, tho. I really heart Andy's approach to that atheist blogging I keep talking about...he subscribes to The Funny. Top 10 thingies to say to a minister (besides fuck off) is a great example of what he does day in day out over at Laughing in Purgatory.  Great work Internet bro.

I read an article a while back about how charts and pie charts are replacing wordy articles. Well a picture says 1,000 words and in this case (my blog mentor @vjack) it is plain simple and to the point. Also check out his Paper.li the mighty Atheist revolution Daily. So frackin' good.

No one will evah replace my deceased hero, Hitch...but Stephen Law would be on the short list of candidates. Lemmie see if I get this correct...He was a cab driver, now he has a Phd. in Philosophy, he is such a baddass that he debated W.L. Craig (I'm using my memory on this one, is that correct or not), he teaches at Oxford and today he has a vid of xtians booing Ron Paul because he mentioned The Golden Rule (that is the rule that precedes xtianity).

I'm rather envious of the Team Atheist members that are smart enuff to do biblical interpretation. Last year there was that one dude that did 365 bible and (fuck I forgot what her blog is called) that awesome woman that chronicles how many times women are mentioned in the bible and in what context (always refereed to as cattle or something to own and kill and rape. thanks bible). The Blasphemous Blog of Biblical Blunders not only has a catchy name...it also has content.

Hey atheists, should we hold out tongue and NOT speak up and out about religious oppression, bigotry, violence and hatred. I don't think so and neither does JesusFetusFajitaFishsticks. Rather inspiring post.

What no helmet. Another example of religious privilege.

My Internet friend down under (and that's NZ baby) has got it so correct. To know them is to debate them...and win. I get Christian newsletters and read Christian newspapers and books and so does my man.  He loves the punishment. Thanks, bro.

I can go on and on but I'll end with a two-fer from super awesome atheist mommy (in Scotland I believe), @weesue. Are the brains of atheist and religious folk different and How do atheists find meaning in life. Ex Fundamentalist  is an atheist/religious news hub. I do a lot of reading in the morning and obviously to me, Sue does a lot more. If you are pressed for time but want hella atheist/religious news...this is your spot.

Why did atheists and agnostics outperform the whole world of believers in religious knowledge in that 2010 Pew Religious Survey? Why did we become atheists in the first place. Because we have the desire for knowledge and seek the truth.

Keep reading buddies.

* All pics from the awesome LOL god.

Awwwwhhhh, If I Culd Happen To Me

Wow, an actual excommunication letter. Wow.

I do believe that if I choose to officially leave the Catholic church of my childish years...it certainly would not be this easy. Hell, I would be totally stoked to get a letter like this from Pope Poo-Poohead ("poopoohead, one word, two, three?). In fact, I think it is impossible to leave the Catholic church (anyone know fer sho), it is something like they, or God owns your soul forever, or something. I'll just go down the excommunication letter point by point, but don't take my word for it, read it yourself.

The letter states that bad attendance is the reason for getting kicked out and then a bible passage is spouted out (spouted is a good descriptive word for what they do, right(?)). It is something about not hanging out with your team (ie going to church) specifically "not to forsake our own assembling together." What am I gonna say Team Atheist....

Classic cherry picking! So humans decided to kick another human outta their elitist club and they chose to look thru the bible to cherry pick a passage to justify their thoughts/beliefs. They could have chosen the passage where Jesus says that when you pray/worship me, then do it in privacy. No they can't choose that one because it would be...gasp, a contradiction.

The next paragraph is so good. They claim that Jesus said that it is up to the church to discipline the losers that do not go to church. But then again, they could have chosen the one that says no one can judge, only God can judge.

The end of the paragraph is everything that is coo-coo crazy pants with religion. They obediently follow the commands of Jesus (they are innocent, just following orders), and they hand you over to Satan (who said I/you/we/us wanted to go to Satan, we just didn't want to go to church) because...because, this is the best part...because when you are suffering in hell and it totally sucks...then you will see the love of God. Their words, "....come to your senses, repent and return." My words, "After you suffer a suffering so bad you can't even imagine it...well, yea, to see God's love tho, right." Yyyyeeeeeaaaaaaa.....

The last paragraph says the words that I wish so badly to hear from my old church "...we are declaring that you are no longer a Christian,..." Ya know, kind gentle and very good looking readers, as a joke, if that ever did happen to me (which would be awesome), I would cherry pick my own passages from the bible and....veto their excommunication.

...well of course it couldn't be "everything" that is wrong with religion...it's too short.

* poo poo head, poopoohead, poo-poohead, poo-poo head, poo-poo-head (naw, that last one sucks, it couldn't be that one....is it(?)

Dominionism, Al Jazeera and Lamestream Media

So there was all the whoopla over Bloomberg's correct decision to not have clergy preach in the 9/11 ceremonies, there was all that backlash over that New Yorker piece and backlash in general over the media thinking about questioning the GOP candidates about their religion(s). WTF. The lamestream American media may be afraid, or whatever, to touch the porcelain topic of religion, but not Al Jazeera. While American lamestream media is going all conglomerate-y putting resources into a smaller and smaller amount of hands, while news bureaus for all major news outlets are closing all over the world, Al Jazeera is expanding and have corespondents in more countries than any other news outlet (and if you watch the news online...their reporters are totally hot. Any who...).

Exposing Religious Fundamentalism In The Us, as I often like to say, kills it. Sort of pathetic that Al Jazeera says what mainstream American lamestream media has been hesitant to say, or even address except for, like, the three articles that I know of (1, 2, 3). Once again the topic is dominionism. I'm going to say it over and over until this next election is finished. Dominionism. Dominionism. One more time with feeling...Doninionism.

Al Jazeera is so tight they quote the man himself Pat "Gays cause erff-quakes" Roberson....

"What do all of us do? We get ready to take dominion! We get ready to take dominion! It is all going to be ours - I'm talking about all of it. Everything that you would say is a good part of the secular world. Every means of communication, the news, the television, the radio, the cinema, the arts, the government, the finance - it's going to be ours! God's going to give it to His people. We should prepare to reign and rule with Jesus Christ (Al Jazeera)."


What the Pat-Man was talking about was, da da daaaa...dominionism. Ask doninionist if they exist and they will say it doesn't exist and that it is just a liberal left wing conspiracy (and yet they do have entire colleges, TV and radio stations, G.W. Bush filled his cabinet  with 'them', Bahcamnn and Perry and Ron Paul have associations with NAR and dominionism, WTF). But go to the horse's mouth and then it's a different story.

I cannot do the article justice. Y'all have to read it. It is so good, it's scary...and that is not a good thing.

* Al Jazeera article.