Awwwwhhhh, If I Culd Happen To Me

Wow, an actual excommunication letter. Wow.

I do believe that if I choose to officially leave the Catholic church of my childish years...it certainly would not be this easy. Hell, I would be totally stoked to get a letter like this from Pope Poo-Poohead ("poopoohead, one word, two, three?). In fact, I think it is impossible to leave the Catholic church (anyone know fer sho), it is something like they, or God owns your soul forever, or something. I'll just go down the excommunication letter point by point, but don't take my word for it, read it yourself.

The letter states that bad attendance is the reason for getting kicked out and then a bible passage is spouted out (spouted is a good descriptive word for what they do, right(?)). It is something about not hanging out with your team (ie going to church) specifically "not to forsake our own assembling together." What am I gonna say Team Atheist....

Classic cherry picking! So humans decided to kick another human outta their elitist club and they chose to look thru the bible to cherry pick a passage to justify their thoughts/beliefs. They could have chosen the passage where Jesus says that when you pray/worship me, then do it in privacy. No they can't choose that one because it would be...gasp, a contradiction.

The next paragraph is so good. They claim that Jesus said that it is up to the church to discipline the losers that do not go to church. But then again, they could have chosen the one that says no one can judge, only God can judge.

The end of the paragraph is everything that is coo-coo crazy pants with religion. They obediently follow the commands of Jesus (they are innocent, just following orders), and they hand you over to Satan (who said I/you/we/us wanted to go to Satan, we just didn't want to go to church) because...because, this is the best part...because when you are suffering in hell and it totally sucks...then you will see the love of God. Their words, "....come to your senses, repent and return." My words, "After you suffer a suffering so bad you can't even imagine it...well, yea, to see God's love tho, right." Yyyyeeeeeaaaaaaa.....

The last paragraph says the words that I wish so badly to hear from my old church "...we are declaring that you are no longer a Christian,..." Ya know, kind gentle and very good looking readers, as a joke, if that ever did happen to me (which would be awesome), I would cherry pick my own passages from the bible and....veto their excommunication.

...well of course it couldn't be "everything" that is wrong with religion...it's too short.

* poo poo head, poopoohead, poo-poohead, poo-poo head, poo-poo-head (naw, that last one sucks, it couldn't be that one....is it(?)