Sorry That I Alarmed Everyone, But...

Rocktober, you know what that means. Err, neither do I.

 First of all, thanks for all the support-n-stuff both from my super awesome atheist blogosphere friends (that are not in range of my rock hard powerful fists) and my real friends (that are in range, and they/you are still there-that is friendship, I tell ya).

Everyone loves Taco-Baby. Spicy.

 Don't worry, I will not do that anything that you guys tweeted, FB'd, and commented here about. If anything, I'll drink a lot of beer and "go to sleep." So please don't worry about that. I promise. I totally promise that I will not do that.

Is this a stereotype or cute...or both.

 What I try and do in all my posts is write off the top of my head. I don't take notes, if I do make an outline, then it is very vague. If you look at the lack of facts, exact numbers and just description in general, then you can see my lack of preparation. Same goes for when I roll with the personal posts. It is a snapshot of my "right now." I'm honest. I let it all hang out. I don't care if it makes me look bad.

 Look at the party years that I have chronicled. I was unashamed of my drug abuse and totally honest about it. I never glorified it, I just told it like it is: the highs of raving at 4am with a bunch of pretty pretty girls, and the lows of puking at work the next day, smelly and stinky...but always totally honest.

The same goes for my depression. It is not pretty. It is fucking brutal. For the most part the past five to six months...it has been winning (I can't even remember the last time I was happy.). But that doesn't mean I'm going to quit, it means that I have to keep on keeping on. Like that great reggae song from the 80's "Life is a big struggle...but never give in."

 A good friend gave me some advice yesterday. S/He basically said that I have been hitting it so hard on this blog and so long that of course "you are all down." Of course if I read seven newspapers and several magazines everyday, I will be down. Last year @mojoey at Deep Thoughts said something like the clergy abuse that he chronicles on his blog is such a downer that he is going to post more positive things to make himself feel better. I think it's a good idea, therefore cute, delicious baby pictures in costumes.

Who hates broccoli?

 I need to lighten up. I think I'll write more science-y skeptic 101 posts instead of the "bla bla bla, religion this, religion that" posts. Science and technology is just as important as religion and as we head into this new year and election cycle. Most Americans are illiterate when it comes to science. Our presidential candidates don't know squat about science (many believe that creationism should be taught in the science classroom) and these are the people in power. How will we solve this economy. How will we combat the brain drain. How how how....

Well, actually, I don't know that shit. I really just wanted to say thank you for your concern and I'm not quitting on life. Yea, I'm going thru some shit right now...that's life. That's my life. OK. Part of me wishes that I could punch depression in the face with my rock hard angry fists to make myself better. But I know that I can't do that. I've always said that I'm more than a pretty face, with a rock hard body, and super long silky black Asian hair. I have always said that I wanna be recognized as more than a piece of hunk meat that lasts for hours and hours. I want to be known for my brain...and this is the opportunity to do that.

Thanks.

* I've pretty much quit on the music. I don't even listen to music right now...but I'll never quit the writing. Never.