Return Of The Peanut

You put your baby in my peanut butter...thanks, bro. Delicious.

Hey angry atheist, give credit where credit is due. I'm veeerrrrryyyyy impressed with the 39th president of the United States, Jimmie James "Freekin" Carter. In the usually very weak and lame Huff Post Religion, the former president, the man who broke away from homophobic and sexist the Southern Baptist Church, Peanut answers the tuff questions about the bible (yes, THAT bible), his new book and faith.

OM(nonexitent)Gawd all you kind gentle and very goodlooking readers dude has the courage to answer questions like sanctioned biblical slavery, the war on women and the war to control women's pee pees-n-stuff, did Gawd write the bible, how old is the universe. Really those are epic questions and in fact those are our talking points (I know because I've said those things while standing on my soap box), so Peanut did some good y'all.

Why is this coolio. If I have said it once, I have said it a million times...If Team Atheist can debunk (destroy) extremist religion, then the business of world peace and a secular society will be that much easier. If religious peeps, en mass, move from a literal interpretation of the bible that says "snakes talk, gays bad, da erffs is 6-10,000 y/o" to a more liberal interpretation...a more equality-ie and peaceful interpretation, then baddfreekinass.

Poor Peanut. He had that hostage thingy, recession, unemployment and the OPEC than to deal with. Wait, it's always like that.

Gee I dunno, if believers would ALL subscribe to the reality that the bible was inspired by God and not literally written by God, then maybe, just maybe, peeps will stop hijacking planes and running them into buildings, invading other countries for revenge and killing innocent  civilians and calling it *collateral damage*. Just maybe.

Don't get me wrong...I don't believe in the symbolic God/Jesus of liberal religion either, I just think one step at a time, bro. I just think the classic military strategy divide and conquer. I just think that Team Atheist, at least on the social issues, have more in common with liberal religion than extremist religion.

I'm stoked right now (and it feels good to have some kinda feeling/excitement) and I will return to this epic interview from Peanut, of course, with super awesome, pot smoking, morning drinking, stinky hippie, Nor-Cal opinion. In the meantime, read the interview and I'll pound this breakfast beer.

I was too young to try Billy Beer. I guess it tastes like sweaty Southern Jesus eating BBQ.  Or Budweiser.

* Oh yea...part of it is that more and different translations that believers keeps spewing, the more unlikly any of them are true. If one splinter cell claims one interpretation is correct and another cell claims that what they say is correct, then doesn't that make them all wrong. It does from the Team Atheist perspective. Mo' later.

* Article Huff Po.

* I read this on Dwindling Unbelief yesterday. It's about how believers cherry pick certain passages to follow, but not others. These passages could be interpreted as God/Jesus insisting that "one man lay with another", or that question that is asked at all bars at closing time "Are you a topper, or a bottom-er." This cherry picking thing is about liberal v extremist interpretations of the bible, about correct and not correct. It is about making sense in the modern world or not making sense in the modern world.

* Don't fergit that the 39th presidents brother was a notorious beer swiller. so much so, he came out with his own beer...Billy Beer.

* Peanut's bio. Really interesting guy.

Giving Credit And Hints

(This is not a hint.)

I give credit where credit is due, that is just how I roll. I also do the opposite (which is pretty much, talking shit. annyhoo...). There is a place I go for religious commentary and, well, it pretty much sucks everytime. I won't say where/who it is, but I will say that today we are on the same page (credit).

We can agree that, esp. in this election cycle, the current propaganda from the religious is all, and I do mean ALL, hype. The ruckus that they want you/us to believe is that their religious liberty is being infringed upon by the super awesome Black Prez's contraception mandate. It's not true.

What is it about freedom here in American. First of all, we are not free to do anything we want. If our freedom hurts others, then we are not free to do that endeavor. I imagine that back in the day all the slave owners were saying the same exact things that religious folk are sayin' today like, "it's tradition to own slaves, my ancestors and their ancestors have done it," or the super stupid and yucky, "it's in the bible, God said it's cool, so there."

Those "arguments" didn't makes sense back then concerning slavery and they certainly don't make sense today concerning the whole contraception v. religious liberty whoopla. Is their point of view really about controlling women and their bodies because the bible said so, or is it about  so called "religious liberty."

 I just wanted to bust out with the very rare breakfast blog post and give some love to (blank blank).
Sorry I think your work is usually dookie...it's good today, tho.

* That wuz quick. Here's an Update from that place I go everyday and like it sooooo much. RNS.

Me Rambeling On And On About Change

OK-ie, it's ultimate question time kiddies. No not does Gawd exist-that will never be answered. It's "Are things getting better or worse." As y'all know that last million times I wrote about this I (probably) said "yes, things are getting worse (thanks depression)." Well months later it's yes, things are getting better."

The battle for secular society is like any long running combat situation in that there are ups and downs. I've been interpreting it as "it's been looking good" as of lates (thanks Prozac). In jolly old England there is a big row (whatevah that is) because the gov just said the correct in that no more soup-no-it's no more prayers at official gov businesses-n-stuff. Just like here in the states the response is the super lame "but it's tradition (1)". That is not a good excuse, much less reason, for violating this fundamental law.

I believe that their courts ruled to take prayer out, then of course, there was an uproar. Whatever their president is called said something and even that Queen we have heard so much about the past million decades  said something.

I'll say that because there is such an uproar...that's a win for Team Atheist. Good job, peeps.

Tom Krattenmaker did the awesome and wrote this really good article and I dunno if it was syndicated, but I read it at USA Today (2). "Millennials aren't amoral and adrift" was da entertaining for me. It's been a while since I was touched/inspired/moved/had any kinda feeling at all (as opposed to opinion, I always have that) in music, songs, any art or any of the million gazillion articles that I read everyday. Not today.

Are things getting better or worse. Well, obviously it depends on which side of that line drawn in the sand that you stand on and if you think that metaphorical glass is half empty or half full. Millennials are way less likely to go to church than people my age and older. the numbers have been going down for quite some time and perhaps it is at a tipping point because "they" are talking about it so much. I think The New Atheist have something to do with this. Good job, peeps.

Whenevah I ponder the question I can't help but think that things are relative and everything just stays the same. Remember that old sayin' I overused years ago "the shores of the river bank constantly change, and yet it is always remains the shore of the riverbank, which is the same." So  maybe all older generations say of the younger generation stuffs like "yes, they are not as pious as we were," or the classic "kids nowadays are stupid".

"Kriss", you yell at me, "Butt-eye know some cool kids..in fact, I'm one of them."

Yea, whatevah...Anyhoo...One of the cool things about these people, not kids, that were born on or after 2000, is that they are down with the altruism. It's not just about them, their families and their country. They have concern about the environment, the economy, education, others, and dig this older people, they care about equality. They care about the world. Opposing LGBT marriage is so grandpa. Boys are better than girls, shut the fuck up man, this is not the 1950's (3).

Last week I talked about the hipster churches that are attempting to evolve from the ancient crusty "fire and brimstone" religious experience of us, our parents and their parents and how I believe that this is a move in a better direction. I still don't believe that Jesus is a 1/3'er (3)or end of times: but I will give them credit in the areas of fighting sexism (female clergy, contraception) and for LGBT rights/equality.

Googled "they eye of God." Seeeee, he has blue eyes.

Pastor Rob Bell introduced a kinder Christian experience with his book published last year that ponders a Christianity with no (concept of) hell. Bishop John Shelby Spong is a very vocal about revolutionizing the church he loves so much. Here, last week, I talked about the hipster churches fronted by hottie tatooed pastors (hello), church rock concerts and such. change is in the air and in the pews.

You know another reason why I think this thing is working. Just watch what the opposition is doing. Catholic bishops widened their war on women to include contraception, i think, because they feel threatened.  Don't believe the bull that they are fighting for religious liberty. They are fighting for the kinda tradition that I mentioned at the top o' da page, the wrong kinda tradition. Why is the Queen punching back over this particular row, cause she's scared. They are fighting to control women, entirely, because they have relinquished some of that in recent decades and it appears in the upcoming decades.

I Googled something like "stupid kids", or "how stupid are kids." This is for you, you know who you are.

Here in the states we may not be as secular as the UK, but since the arrival of The New Atheists, we have done good work and made great progress. Again, why is it important for me to see the drifting of youth to a more liberal religion than there parents and grandparents. With the move comes the liberal interpretation of that bible they keep talking about. Ever wonder why evangelicals hate on the super awesome Black Prez, the bible. They interpret it as literal and he goes Jefferson on it.

In the battle for secular society it is the extremist that is our opposition. It might be strange bedfellows to team up with liberal religion, but we have the same goals: LGBT, feminism, civil rights, equality, environment, change, evolution. Can we reason with extreme Islamists, or is there a line drawn in the sand. Will the abortion, and now contraception, debate ever be conclusively solved, or are their two polarized sides. I read last week the GOP voters are tired of social issue debates because the lines have been drawn and seemingly are so entrenched that compromise (not that I want that) is a fantasy.

This is why at this moment I feel things are getting better. It is also very sunny outside right now, and you guys know how I heart that.

* Does this post even make sense, I'll edit later. Going fer a walk to get some sun. Out.

(1) Wow, that is so lame. It WAS traditional to own slaves. It WAS traditional to beat your wife and/or children. If one does that now, they go to jail. Just because something is tradition does not automatically mean that that endeavor is correct or right or good. Lame.

(2) Tom wrote Onward Christian Athletes. It is a must read. It's about the infiltration of evangelicals in all of pro athletes. There are pastors-n-stuff inside clubhouses. If you don't believe in dominionism before reading this, well....

(3). The trinity, yo.

* Update: Atheist will outnumber Christians (I think in England) in 20 years. See, I told you.

Don't Baptize Me When I Die...Or I'll Haunt You

I guess this could be "what's the harm" thingies, but really peeps...it's the principle. Those crazy, and I do mean crazy, Mormons are at it again baptizing the deceased of other denominations. Recently they got caught baptizing dead Jews, specifically the parents of Holocaust survivor, Simon Wiesenthal (then after, they apologized because it is so stupid wrong). Well, guess who is Mormon now, even tho she is dead...yea, how'd ya guess...Anne "Freekin" Frank, yes, that Anne Frank.

"Plug your dam nose kid and shut the fuck up already."

Researcher Helen Radkey, who also busted the Mormon church for those other super freekish baptisms, also revealed this one. She said that Anne's name was in the records of the Santo Domingo Temple in the Dominican Republic around Feb 18th-ish. Who cares about that shit...why. Why the fuck would someone do this?

There is a great article on Slate that addresses this, but of course I can't (not willing) find it. That's OK, right, because I have my mighty born and raised in Northern California stoner brain (the brain that automatically plays "Exodus" by Bob Marley in the background from the time I wake, till the time I...switch songs). Here is what I remember (and some stuff that I'll just make up)...

Elie, c'mon man...you didn't age well (and I'm a total arse-hole).

I do believe that it was in one of Hitch's book/article where he was going on and on about how selfish it is for a selfish adult to insist that a poor innocent (atheist) baby have the bacteria filled, so called holy water, sprinkled upon their crying heads to...sooth the adults around said baby. Just like the innocent atheist baby, the dead Jews have no choice in the matter. Even tho I cannot come up with a super specific example of this happening upon ones deathbed, I'm totally confident that many times thru-out history that a selfish individual has taken it upon themselves to have their dying homie sprinkled with the holy bacteria water (selfish I tell ya) to save them.

I ass-u-me that all the denominations that sprinkle the water do so because it is a prerequisite to get into that specific heaven that that specific belief offers. It's quite nobel for a homie, upon your death, while you are so weak you cannot say "no" or "yes", to insist a holy man, a man of the cloth, do the sprinkle upon your weak self...except that it is totally selfish for one to do so on ones weak and suffering behalf, no matter how nobel the intention.

I'd fuck Anne, she's kinda hot, right...right(?). It's a  compliment. Sheez.

I mentioned a while while back that I believe my genetic family to be so controlling and selfish, that upon my untimely and certainly early departure, that they would Shang-Hi my dead atheist body and have a religious ceremony in a different town from where my family of friends live, and have a religious ceremony comfortable in distance to THEIR lives and beliefs.

As I review the early demise of my Hero, Hitch, I cringe at the thought of religious types selfishly insisting in all the moments up to his not greatly exaggerated demise that he repent and/or have that holy man sprinkle that water upon his dying atheist head. I believe that the dying peep has precedence over all in this situation. Nobel or not (not) a living well intentioned person cannot selfishly impose their will upon the soon to be departed-well, unless one is full of religious conviction and self righteousness. If that is the case then all rational goes out the door and the will of the divine "clairvoyantly" supersedes any mere idea of a simpole human, dying or not.  Or as I say...selfish.

In Soviet Russia, baby baptize...you.

I don't even want to give the benefit of the doubt to the intentions of those selfish Mormons that posthumously enroll a new members to their "click". The person is dead, you do not know what they want, you did not ask them and you probably do not even care (you only care about what you and your religion wants). Just because a person is so selfish as to initiate , and succeed in doing so, a dead person into their ranks is not cause for celebration. I don't care that an individual doing this horrible, and not at all noble, deed has the best intentions: "but I wanted to save their soul," "they will live forever now, in heaven," "they will now be reunited with those they love and (our specific) God." I don't care...it's selfish I tell ya.

This is one of the many reasons why a dude like c'est moi becomes an atheist in the first place-the controlling. Isn't that one of the golden rules in every culture and every belief...don't fuck with the dead peeps. If it is not, then it should be.

If the worry or concern is the persons happiness in the afterlife, then we should baptize said person in all the religions of the whole world, right.  That way all the bases will be covered. Or we can go secular afterlife style and, here's a great idea everyone....not baptize any dead people.

It's just an idea, yo.

* Article Anne Frank

Erin, I Googled "baptize" and this came up. This one is fer you, buddy.

The Stupid, Alaskan Airlines and Prayer Cards

Gordon Bawker the co-founder of Starbucks and delicious Redhook Ale, used to travel on Alaskan Airlines. AA, until recently, would drop a freekin' prayer card on your diner tray (I know, it's the 2,000's right). I can sort of forgive himfor putting small coffee shops outta business (not really) because he would remain silent, then when the plane took off, then he would recite the prayer out loud. I don't know you, but I don't want people sayin' out loud on this flying-sky-chair-tube thing, the thing that possible could crash and kill everyone, "the meek shall inherit the erffs (that or, "we're all gonna dieeeeeee.").

Do my Eskimo bro's and sis' really want their 'mugs' of planes. Were they even asked?

Here's the super stupid coming from the upper echelon, 1%'er's, the CEO and the president...

"...we've heard from many of you who believe religion is inappropriate on an airplane." Ugh, ya think. This is everything to me. This is the difference to an apologetic Kriss 2011 and angry atheist Nu Kriss, bitter, angry and in yo face, beeotches. Last year at this time, i might have let it pass without a thought. now, no frackin' way.

This should be a prayer card. It's inspiring.

Instead of "inappropriate behavior on a plane" I think dude should have said the correct and said, public place. People should be better than this, esp people in leadership positions. Really, did any Jews, Mooslims, or atheists eveah travel on Alaskan Airlines. It only takes common sense to see that that is inconsiderate at best. Here;s the other part of the quote the two brainiacs came up with in their memo...

"This difficult decision was not made lightly...Some of you enjoy the cards and associate with our service..."

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. This is what I was talking about earlier with the plus one. Really...really, there were customers/people that associated doing your job, the thing that everyone has to do, doing your job correctly and well (everyone is expected to do that and when you do, you don't get credit, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO THAT.) with those stupid prayer cards (name them, I doubt it). You go to work and do your job and it is a choice to give credit to God afterwards, not a requirement (See previous post).

I Googled "prayer cards."

 This is also Christian privilege. Some "higher up" decided long ago that s/he would promote their religion (after all, what's the harm, right) so they insisted and implemented giving out prayer cards to customers on a public flight, irregardless of belief or lack of. 


It's not that big of deal-eo tho. It's only been happening sicne the 70's and years ago, to save money, they only gave the cards out in first class. I guess only the 1% can be saved.

* There is an article about this on NPR, but I'm linking the mighty Seattle Times instead.

Happy Friggatriskaidekaphobia

I'm going to write about the controversy in women's tennis...next.

Well happy Friday the 13th everyone. I'll start off by sayin' I'm confused. I see three words to describe this unluckiest of unlucky days, let's see if I can get this one correct...Paraskevidekatriaphobia is a word coined by Dr. Donald Dossey to cure the irrational fear of Friday the 13th (saying the word cures this next word), friggatriskaidekaphobia. Then there is the word triskaidekaphobia and that is just the fear of the number 13, on any day I guess. Say all these words together three times and...and, nothing will happen except the satisfaction that you can say these words; or you can use my word for it-stupidstition.

That Judas...the 13th apostle.

Because of Juliann's awesome calendar that we have settled on (1) every 400 years follows a pattern. Within this pattern there are some years with 3 Friday the 13's and some with one, like this year (thanks Jullian, if that is your real name). Lending to the mystery of this particular Friday, outta the 7 days of the week, the 13th occurs most on, guess, Fridays (that way people that believe in stupidstition can connect the dots that require no connection). Couple o' thingies kind gentle and very good looking readers...

There is a Norse myth about 12 God dudes chillin' at a table when that mischievous Loki (Thor's brother, right) shows up. Not only was Loki not invited to the diner party, nor did he bring any chips or dip, or mandatory bottle of wine, he convinced another God, "Hoder, the blind god of darkness, to shoot Balder, the beautiful..." Then the erffs became dark, terrible suffering happened and that is why Friday 13th is dookie.

Another one is...In that Christian religion that we keep talking about 1) Cain killed, not Kenny his lesser known brother, but Able, 2) some believe that the hottie Eve tempted Adam on a Friday (after all, it is the end of the work week, have a beer or two...eat an apple and see what happens, wink wink) and 3) their 1/3 man, god, ghost was nailed to a piece of wood and died on Friday (which to the casual observer...doesn't seem all that powerful.). So it is no wonder that xtians are not into Friday's esp Friday the 13th. Oh wait...and Judas was the 13th apostle and he went all Wikki Leaks on the J-Man, don't forget that one.

Because of these three irrational tongue twister fears, millions and millions of dollars are lost in business each and every year. Some peeps are so weirded out by this date that they stay home, ya know, where it's safe. You guys know that means to me...I'm going to the bar, the lines will be short.

Awesome, don't die today peeps.

* Snopes Friday 13th

* Nat Geo Friday 13th and da, bible

(1). I propose, and I've said this before, we need to start a new calendar for Christopher "My hero" Hitchens passing. Just like B.C. we can have A.H.-after Hitch.

* You guys lucked out that for whatevah reason I can't post Youtube videos here anymore, cause I was thinking about post that *really good song*...Friday.

The Roundy Roundup For This Friday (That's today, Yo)

Wow...so many good articles today and I can't settle on what topic to write about so guess what all you kind gentle and very good looking readers...no not chicken butt (this time)...time for a new roundup-n-shit.

Washington Post On Faith is killin' today. If they could bust out like this all of the time, then they would be my favorite (sorry RNS). One of the cool thingies about WPOF is that they give us a platform to do our thing. Par example...

Hey look, I'm Sammy Hagar's brother. OK, I'm not.

Psychologist and dude with really great hair, Steveo Pinker goes over the religion poisons everything spiel. His article Has religion made the world less safe is really not anything new to peeps that have participated in the conversation since the arrival of the 4 Horse Guys. But still, it's good to go over things and solidify you/our argument(s).

Believers and nonbelievers are cats and dogs, Mars and Venus, but sometimes, that is sometimes...chocolate and peanut butter is pretty OK. Rev. Barry Lynn of that secular group that is always in the news because they do really awesome work calls out Pat Robertson and his claim that god told him who will become the next president. It's very interesting to me because there were three GOP'ers that claimed that God told them to run for president and they are no longer in the race. Did God make an oopsie.

I Googled Pat Robertson squeezing out a poo.

Matisyahu, the hasidic reggae rapper, did the no no and...da da daaaa, cut his hair (their God said, bro don't do that.). I've seen his show twice. the first time it was awesome reggae dancing, super funky and the second it was all "spiritual" goobely-goo. I would be interested in seeing him again. hopefully it will be better than the last time (boring...snore).

The tiny president with the super hottie wife (where's my super hottie wife, le sigh) Nicky Sarkozy gives props to the ladies by visiting the grave of Joan of Arc. If she were still alive today she would be 600 and I'll just say it...all the cool guys like powerful women (f*ck submissive women, who the hell wants that) sooooo, I'd probably f*ck her. Any who..

Lastly, the religion of my peeps (Filipinos, because Spain cam to the islands and forced that shit down our throats...we probably were like Native americans of North american before they came and Islam was all up in the islands before Catholicism was.) has been in the news a lot this week and if you are a yound boy...that is not good.

I used to heart these as a kid.

First a Catholic bishop in LA resigned because he fathered some kids when he was supposed to be celibate and now they are adults. the church is going to compensate them by paying for college and counseling. This situation brings up celibacy and priesthood, but i could frackin' care less about that. what I'm surprised about and wondering...he did it with and...woman. That's not M.O..

It is the 10 year anniversary of the exposing of the Boston boy fucking scandal. Recall this was the first one, the one that blew it open. The Archbishop, then and now, has...get this...sorrow.

Then lastly, lastly...Pope stupid hat (really, bro, get some better gear, yo) recently appointed 22 new cardinals. That is pretty high up the boy fucking ladder and they get to vote for the next pope. Unfortunately, the one bishop that was vocal and critical about how the Catholic church handled the boy fucking scandal...was not promoted.

I got all these articles from the super awesome Washington Post On Faith. Pretty good stuffs for a one stop shop. Awesome atheist, there are so many to go to, there is religion News Service, CNN Belief Blog (the weakest of the bunch), Huff Po Religion and Religion Dispatches (super essay good) and many more. Atheist, get into the conversation and participate. I'll just say it...we are smarter than them and we are on the correct side of history. This IS the golden Age of Atheism. Let's do this together, like a team.

Awesome sauce peeps. I dunno if I'll be able to post this weekend. I'm going to the City where I wuz born and my awesome lil' brother is gonna take me to a show (I'm really nervous cause the last time I went to a show it was horrible. Thanks depression). I also hope to see my super sweetheart, old Deadhead friend that has fantastic hair. I might be looking for a new job and a place to live while I'm there and ya know what, if I can watch some football and drink some beer, then...baddass for me. Me me me....

Stay warm and awesome all you super smart, very good looking and godless reader peeps. wish me luck....

The Words Are Too Big and What Is NAR Anyways...

Don't diss the 80's. that was my 60's.

Look, I'm just an average baddass dude with really get hair and a stud body-I'm not superman. So when I'm in over my head, I admit it. I was just trying to read an article over at the super awesome Religion Dispatches called Beyond Alarmism and Denial in the Dominionism Debate, but the words are too big for me. So I had to do some lookie lookie. Here's what I found.

I've talked about dominionism before. Basically it is the followers of the Prince of Peace and the specific type of Protestant denomination (outta a million diff ones) and how they must rule over the erffs, the peeps and everything else-because Gwad said so. Any who, while I was reading the article the acronym NAR kept coming up. So WTF.

RICK PERRY THE RESPONSE (in all captials).

Some how, I'm very foggy on it still, dominionism and the New Apostolic Reformation are both mutually exclusive and independent at the same time. You can be one with out the other, or not. Anyways...It is a movement of Protestants associated with Pentecostal and Charismatic movements. They believe in a direct relationship with Gawd, thru Jesus and and believe in revelation, prophecy and miracles like healing. Presidential candidate Gov. Rick Perry is supported by NAR homies (and that says a lot, right).

De facto leader, C. Peter Wagner engages in "spiritual warfare" and also claims that God acted thru him to end mad cow disease in Germany (crazy much?). Another leader said that the tsunami in Japan was caused by the president repealing DADT (OK?) and the Japanese peeps not sufficiently embracing Christianity (double OK?). Needless to say, they are totally homophobic (which seems to always be the case with these nut jobs).

Don't diss the 70's either.

I will end with this quote from wiki...

"Forrest Wilder describes the New Apostolic Reformation as having "taken Pentecostalism, with its emphasis on ecstatic worship and the supernatural, and given it an adrenaline shot."^[1] Wilder adds that beliefs of people associated with the movement "can tend toward the bizarre" and that it has "taken biblical literalism to an extreme."^[1]

The organization has become increasingly involved in political activism, with many of its leaders supporting the 2012 presidential candidacy of Rick Perry.^[1]"

Now we know.