Dude Got "Bro Groped"

"Don't lash me, bro."

OK, dude *reached for the telephone* on National Iranian TV and now he and his bro face a prison sentence and because it's I-Ran, those lashes that human rights people are always talking about come into play. What happened you ask...war, crime, revolution, the bomb...no, soccer.

Lemmie go down the list of soccer specific, err, lets call them incidences that have happened around the world, off the top of my stoner head: machete ban, throwing piss on opposing players, wasn't a whole team executed because their country didn't make the Olympics-yes, I think so, throwing piss on the reffs, bottle ban, drunken brawls that end in death and now...lashings. No wonder soccer is not popular here in the states.

You hafta click on the link and watch the video fo yo sef. It's actually quite funny, well, as funny as "violation of public chastity" can be. Did I mention the $40,000 fine in addition to the lashing. $40,000.

* Caught in the act of bro-groping.

* Definition groped

Starring...Atheist Cat

Atheist Cat haz final sez.

Starirng Ceiling Cat

Starring....Basement Cat.

This is one of the many many super valid reasons WE become atheists. Father in law of the person that looks like they are going to win the contest in the GOP to be the one to lose to the awesome Black President in the up coming presidential election, was Mormon "baptized"...after his death. Yuck yuck super yucky and fuck-man. Really. Christopher "My Hero" Hitchens always talked in his debates about the "celestial father" that watches over you in life and in death and, this is the worst part atheists,...forever.

I figured to get the original pictures an owner had to hold them, then photoshop it out later.

What they want us to believe is that voodoo like this somehow "protects" us (from what I'm not quite sure) and even "seals" us in a heavenly eternity with the ones we love. I guess it's  quite touching for a grieving person to know that "things get better." The super bad thing about that is there is no proof and it is so highly unlikely that it is childish to think that it is a valid conclusion.

The "ordinances" performed on Mitt's "militant atheist" father inlaw, Edward Davies, include...

"...baptism, confirmation, washings and anointings, ordination into priesthood..."

That's not too bad for a dead atheist.

What can I say about this...IT IS TOTALLY SELFISH. Total 100% shame on the Romney's for doing this to their dead father (in law). The dude was an atheist fer Christ's sake. He didn't want this. You (selfishly) wanted this, not him. And why...

The second part should be socks or underwear..your keys. Tupperware?

When Mitt came a-courting Davies' daughter, Ann, he went all religion and converted the sisters and eventually, the mother (I believe as she was going to die soon.). The "militant atheist" father...no. Davies son, Roderick (where do these white people get these names. sheez) told the Boston Globe in 2007 that Ed thought that the faithful were "weak in the knees." In fact, Ed, even called religion..."hogwash (oh no you didn't Ed, the Hogwash blast...no...you...didn't), so you can imagine the anger he would have felt upon the learning of his conversion...except that he is dead and all that stuff.

If this is not controlling, then I dunno what is. Control is one of the many many reasons we become atheists. Off the top of my head I'll go over weirdo control stories. What about the weirdo family members that insist a baby is baptized. Is it the battle for the nonexistent soul, or the indoctrination into the "club", that is so important to fanatical family members that insist the YOUR baby has a boy fucker priest sprinkle bacteria filled, so called holy water on the poor newborns head (I do recall reading about family members "taking" a newborn to do this without the parents OK.).

This is not the first time Mitt's so called church has done this. What about all those forced memberships for all those holocaust peeps. It was so bad, they were told to stop. I dunno, I'm confused. Should I get mad that Mitt's Team is stealing the souls of deceased people and converting them to Mormonism so they can go to Mormon heaven, or should I just shrug my shoulders and say, "there is no soul." Either way they win.

Look man, I come from a selfish religious family (and they have no idea what I want, because I was never asked) and I fear that this is something that they would do to me. (I told Sue this the other day...) I fear that my religious family that I have not seen in a decade will hijack my dead atheist body and have a religious ceremony in a different city away from my family of friends that I have spent the last two decades with. Why, not for me...for them. That is what they would want. That is what Mitt's family wanted. That is what controlling religion is all about and that is one of the many many reasons people like us become atheists.

I think Sue at Ex Fundamentalist said it best when she said something like...if you do this to me, I'll come back and haunt you (even tho we don't believe in that stuffs).

Awesome

* Talk about control...I'm still Catholic according to the church. There is a process to go thru to leave the church but I have not gone thru it, so technically they still own my soul. Control.

* OK I got my info from Gawker so sue me.

* Ed's (the father in law) Ancestry.Com file.

I Vote Californian

The Gawd of Beef...Thor's lesswer known brother...Beef-Or..I dunno, I tried.

Can you hear me now is the standard joke to insert...here.

I don't get it...why is the guy on the right wearing a wig.

The order must not be changed...evah.

I wonder how many people called, I mean sincerely called. Maybe I should start something like that...I could be the V-Marry.

Who was Jesus? THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS JEWISH He went into his father's business. He lived at home until he was 30. He was sure his mother was a virgin, and his mother thought he was God.THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS IRISH He never got married. He was always telling stories. He loved green pastures. THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS PUERTO RICAN His first name was Jesus. He was bilingual. He was always being harassed by the authorities. THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS ITALIAN He talked with his hands. He had wine with every meal. He worked in the building trades. THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS BLACK He called everybody "brother." He liked Gospel. He couldn't get a fair trial. THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS A CALIFORNIAN He never cut his hair. He walked around barefoot. He started a new religion. THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS A WOMAN He had to feed a crowd, at a moment's notice, when there was no food. He kept trying to get the message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it. Even when he was dead, he had to get up because there was more work to do.

Reading Between the Lines

I will now attempt to humble-ly read between the lines of a quote from...The Newt. Here's the quote...

The Spanish ribbed Newt...for your pleasure.

"It's pretty simple: marriage is between a man and a woman...the effort to create alternatives to marriage between a man and a woman are perfectly natural pagan behaviors, but they are a fundamental violation of our civilization (The Common Gigolo known as The Newt)."

Does anyone want a cheezburger b4 we goezzzzzzz...

* "It's pretty simple" that if is one is brainwashed to think that marriage, or even being a couple, is ONLY between a man and a woman then that is a "heavenly sin." What is also "simple' to understand is that only American Christians (aka the elite) believe this. I understand that back in the day when infant mortality was hecka low, people has to have as many babies as they could. It is not like that anymore. Just because it is old and traditional doesn't mean that it is correct. It is OK to change for the better of society, but it is not OK to stay stagnant and never change when people are being harmed.

* "...perfectly natural pagan behaviors..." Wow, Newt...really. I think we can replace the word "pagan" with "human' and it would still mean the same thing-to us, the good people. First of all, Newt the historian, American Christianity borrowed heavily from those Pagans you just mentioned. In fact, if we were to erase all the pagan influence from your American Christianity, then there would hardly be anything left: the birth date of your savior is a good example of that (and as a historian, Newt, obviously you know that your 1/3 man, God, ghost, was really born in the spring, right. Just sayin', bro.).

* "...but they are a fundamental violation of our civilization..." Ugh, where do I begin...The "fundamental violation of our civilization" really means a violation of white male American conservative Christian civilization, right (?). "Natural pagan behaviors" to normal everyday people means, normal everyday behavior for the whole spectrum of humanity. Newt, what you are talking about is elitist in the way that it only talks about the views and beliefs of conservative white males that believe in your specific God. That is not "civilization", Newt, that is part of civilization-your part,

The quote begins with "It's pretty simple...," but the only thing that is "simple" is that people like you (Newt) want to divide the country even more than it already is*, and the "simple" answer in reality is...secularism.

* Newt believes that secularism is a great evil in this country. Secularism unites, elitist Newt divides.

* More quotes...many are stupid head.

More LOL Cats for the heck of it...