Goodbye Crazy Eyes, Hello Rick

My name is Rick, if I become president...so does my God.

I'm a total jerk face lately, so frackin' what. I think that when Michele "Crazy Eyes" Bachmann announced the quitting of her campaign (which is pretty much spitting in gods face...right) she should have knocked the podium over while saying, "...and you Godless liberals won't have Michele Bachmann to kick around anymore." That would have been epic. Instead she took that high road that peeps keep talking about.

Don't trip fellow heathens. There is a new game in town and it goes by Rick Santorum. Let's take a quick looksie at Rick...

Don't get excited...it's a mask.

Dude believes that Intelligent Design should be taught right along side, ya know, evolution.

He believes that Europe has already lost the war against...ISLAM, because they are secular and that is why we absolutely need to allow his God (Catholic, but he appeals to Evangelicals also) to be all up in ever sector of society (and that is that dominionism that I keep talking about), because us secularists are too stupid to know that Sharia law IS in American society right now.

Rick believes Planned Parenthood should be defunded and in no case whatsoevah so abortion be allowed.

And lastly...he hates those super clean well dressed, and I'll hetero-admit, the very cute...teh Gay.

So if you saddened by Crazy Eyes not showing the glory and power of her specific God, by quitting (Sarah Palin thinks she's a quitter), fret not fellow Godless...There is a new can to kick and his name is Rick.

I never thot she was attractive.

* Here's a real article, ya know with facts and stuff like that. Thanks Religion Dispatches.

* Here's a money quote from RD's super good writer Sarah Posner. I like Religion Dispatches, just like I like Religion News Service because they both have the ladies writing for them. You go grrrls...

"Santorum peddles in paranoias that secularism (and, here, rights relating to sex and gender) will lead to a decline in Christianity, which will lead to a decline in fertility, which will open America to a takeover by Islamists. In his mind, it's all tied together, and it all has to do with religion."