For Christianity Too Be True...

This was on one of my Tweeps Twit Pics earlier and it nails the head with that metaphorical hammer all the cool kids keep talking about. J.L. at Debunking Christianity had a "For Christianity to be true..." series a little while ago and it was natural and spectacular (perhaps I will copy that-it's a good idea).

So Jesus created something from nothing, really. There was nothing, then there was something. Jesus, who is also God can totally defy the second law of thermodynamics, which is not just miraculous...it IS a miracle (if it really did happen like that-not). Forget the order of creation doesn't makes sense (plants before sun) cause Jesus-God doesn't make sense either.

"It's her fault Lord God, err, I mean Jesus"

First a bro-dude was created, mmm, I think one of the versions says, from dust. Then Jesus-God created the super hotties from said dudes rib. From that very small gene pool (allegedly) came all human genetic diversity, with all the mutations throughout time, instead of evolution thru natural selection (which is more likely and makes more sense).

As times passes, Jesus-God knocks up his own mom (yuck), straight up cock blocking his own (earthly) dad so he could be born of human flesh (and I dunno if he was cool with his earthly dad, but really, Joseph manned up and did the correct thingy by raising his God-Son that imprego'd hiiiissssss wife. If that is not nice then I dunno what is).

After a relatively short time here on da erffs, I believe 32 years, right, through his powers that be and with the help of mere humans ranging from politicians, police and his students, he kills himself as a sacrifice to, err, his self, because he wants that to be an example for mere humans (died for our sins).

It's not over yet, you awesome atheists you...Then he gets outta bed, err, raises from the dead after three days (because three is a great number in numerology), hits up the hottie Mary, talks to some peeps (depending on which story you subscribe to), then literally rises into the air (ascension) to go meet his dad, who is really himself. Guess what, it's still not over.

Before he leaves he promises to come back in the lifetime of his students (disciples), but in the meantime they halfta promote his brand-Christianity. I dunno if Jesus-God, even tho dude is ALL powerful-n-stuff, got human and dog years all mixed up, but 2,000 years has passed.

In the meantime many different splinter cells of the Jesus cult have sprung up, died, resurrected or started anew. Forget that there are no original documents of his teaching and the documents that are available are considered corrupt and the authors are anonymous (that's you bible), the preacher man can still decifer the true meaning and intent of his teaching. Which include my two favorites 1) women folk are second class, one step above cattle but certainly below the average bro-dude (in fact a young teen boy, today, in many churches have more authority than their mommies) and 2) my super awesome LGBT friends that love eachother and are good people...cannot get married (there's more but I won't go into that).

Here's the goodie part...when dude comes back (within someone's lifetime) he is gonna take a select few (I've heard that the number is 80,000, really) of the erff peeps to his dads house, which is really his house, called the Kingdom of Heaven. At the pad the select few will enjoy an eternity of...mmm, the pleasure of his company, which is, mmm, heaven (?) for ever and ever and ever. The peeps remaining, which is 99.99999999999999% of the population, will suffer a horrible and painful existence for the same amount of time (eternity) that the elitists enjoy.

I used to love these guys. Soooo good.

But even before that happens, The Chosen People must steal the land from the people that have already been living there for hecka long, thus establishing their homeland (Israel) and when this happens that will be one of the signs that "He" is coming back-which simultaneously means the literal destruction of the entire erffs, including the Chosen People (in this religious version they were not *chosen* to go to heaven, they were chosen to be killed).

Why?

Because "He", Jesus-God, when "he" created this whole system and made us mere humans to be born with (original) sin (1).

That is what one must believe to believe that Christianity is the one    true    religion.

(1) Original sin doesn't really sound original, it sounds like Buddhism (karma). From the skeptic point of view...it don't make no sense.

* Thanks Becs. Follower her @sapient_ape

Doing God's Work In India

“The Christian community in Kerala is dwindling. We realized that if the numbers decreased further, it would have a negative impact on the community,” said Babu Joseph, spokesman for the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of India in New Delhi (Wa Po)."


I think what dude really means is that as the numbers of the Christian community diminishes, then so will his pay check. After all, what is this "negative impact" that he is talking about; really, in what form? Is it that more "evil" (whatever that is) will manifest in daily life, cause there is no proof of that happening. Joseph's statement is in reference to waning numbers of Christians in India and a proposed law to limit the number of children (2) each family can have. Christians were 19.5% of the population in 1991 and currently (their fear is) the percentage is 17 (if atheists had that number we would be totally stoked). Hinduism is the most widely practiced religion and they are rollin' at, like, in the middle 50's.

So the government is all practical-n-stuffs and they proposed, that is PROPOSED, a law that would limit families to two children or face a fine. India is second to China in numbers of peeps and that is not a good thing. Overpopulation is the Ganesh in the room that no one wants to talk about or address. While India has experienced a growing middle class in the 00's, there are still millions upon millions upon millions living in poverty, uneducated and starving, lacking access to clean water and sanitation. While population control may seem severe, it certainly is better than increasing the population.

Again, the bill is proposed and the article says that it is unlikely to pass and become a law. Still, that will not stop the clergy from promoting fear among the peeps. If passed the penalty includes  three months in jail and a fine of 10,000 rupees ($200 usda). So I guess this is where clergy goes on the offensive and shows the people the truth of scripture-fo sho that will change the hearts and minds of non-Christian believing Indian peeps, right(?). Wrong, they will go the bribe route. Some churches are offering free education, medical care and even, I can't make this shit up, cash bonuses. Really....really? There is an all powerful and all knowing and all loving Sky Daddy but the best he can do to inspire and increase the number of practitioners is a...bribe. 3rd world, poor, starving and in need of medical help homie cannot turn that down. No one can. 

This is why we become atheists. Religion just doesn't make sense. Here we have a country where many are living below the poverty line, are uneducated, do not have any or enuff access to health care, lacking opportunities-n-stuff, children are malnourished or starving etc etc etc...but religion wants to go against a proposed government law and go against common frackin' sense. It seems to this atheist that doing Gawds work (having hella children) does more harm than good. And why do they want to go against common sense...because their congregations are getting smaller and there will be "a negative impact on the community." This is where I say WTF. What fuckin' negative impact on the community. 

I dunno maybe there are more important things than having "X" amount of people in the pews, like feeding and housing everyone. Maybe the waning numbers are because, traditionally Indian peeps are more likely to be Hindu or, gasp, Muslim. Are culturally Jewish people freaking out because they do not have "X" amount of Christians in their communities (no).

Maybe the made up idea of a 1/3 man, 1/3 god, 1/3 ghost that was alive over 2,000 y/ago, then dude died, then came back to life, literally rose into the sky to go chill with his dad-who is God, even tho he is God, so he went to go chill with his self-but he's gonna come back when there is an established Jewish state (Israel), and other "prophecies" come true, and this reanimated Jewish zombie/man/Gawd/ghost is gonna take the very few select believers that chose the correct and one true Christianity (outta a million gazillion that all claim to be the one true religion) to a place not of this erffs and never proven, called Heaven...then his dad (who is also his self) will destroy the world as we know it....

...maybe, just maybe that idea is not jiving with all the cool Indian kids and that is why the number of Christians in India are diminishing. Just maybe.

-----------------------------

* Wa Po article

* I also think that the strategy to have more children is because it is easier to indoctrinate, err, brainwash children than an adult. Where ever we see religion growing, we also see it is because children are introduced at a young age, not converting as adults (Hispanic populations, Africa and yes, my Asian peeps).

* Oh yea, and the argument that as society become more secular and godless, then ethics and morals go out the window is dookie. Texas is a very pious state, but they have a super huge prison population and hella murders-n-stuff, versus the Team Atheist example of secular Europe-lower crime and prison population whomps all over that fallacy.

* Previous thoughts on over population.

Dead Sea Scrolls, Mushrooms and Me

I wonder if the 60's culture had an influence.

Team Atheist Nerd Goober, I heart you, I really do. Some people wonder why an atheist would think so much about God, or why an atheist would be so into the bible. I just think it makes us totally awesome...and way smarter than the average lay believer. I also think that the best way to debunk Christianity is with Christianity. The billiard king, John, does it at Debunking Christianity, so does Price, Avalos and of course I have to mention, Bart "frackin'" Erhmann.

Recently that thing called Google (ever hear of it?) has digitized the Dead Sea Scrolls and has made them available for public viewing (I think four or five parts of it, not the whole thing). That is something that Team Atheist Goober can really sink their/our teeth into. You can view the actual scrolls and there is a 'translator' just in case you do not read ancient Aramaic (I think that is the language). All right, fuck that shit, that is not what I wanted to talk about, but deff. check it out.

The translation is "...in 2011 an atheist blogger with brown skin and long waist length hair..." and that is all.

Soooo, not that many people can decipher the DSS. Back in the day there was a team of biblical scholars that had the task of unrolling it without fuckin' it up and translating it. Of the team, only one was non Catholic. His name is John Allegro. This is so good, I'm going to get right down to it. His translation said that there is no such thing as a dude named Jesus and that Jesus is just a metaphor, sit down for this one,...for a mushroom sex cult. Yea, baby. He was on the cover of Time Magazine in I believe 1969 (I was one at that time). I just read the Davinci Code and in that book, which is fiction, early Christianity was a fertility cult, complete with doing it with the ladies...because they are all powerful Goddesses-n-stuff.

krissthesexyatheist is the shit.

 There are others experts that have similar conclusions. Acharya S. believes that early Christianity is all made up-n-stuff and that they stole it from earlier Gods, like Horus the Egyptian Sun God. Robert Price is a Jesus Mythicist, Tim Callahan does really good scholarly work and again, Erhmann. So the idea that early Christianity is not, err, Christian-y is not totally isolated. But then why doesn't the "truth" come out. If Christianity is a mushroom cult, which would be really baddass, then why doesn't the truth come out. I'll tell you why, kind gentle and very good looking readers.

Kriss thinks that Mary Magdalene is hot.

In the book, The End of Biblical Studies, Dr. Avalos pretty much says that the truth doesn't come out because then biblical scholars, and the entire religious establishment, would not have jobs (and that is me paraphrasing). So if the other biblical scholars, who were all Catholic, came to the same conclusion and admitted that JC was all about the magic mushrooms and kickin' with the ladies, then two thousand years of their work would go down the drain. All that stuff about sin, sex and the female body would be thrown out the door. Celibacy, fuck that. Funny thing, that is also a theme in the Davinci Code (if word got out that Christianity was a fertility goddess cult, then the male dominated dominators would have to find new jobs). Needless to say, when Allegro came out with his book, he was lambasted (I've never used that word b4).

Ya know, even if Allegro's interpretation is not the truth it still throws a wrench into the machinery of the Jesus cult. The bible is supposedly the infallible word of God. If that is the case, then why are there so many interpretations: he's all powerful, the word is infallible...or not. If the bible is the word of God, then which one? How come there are bibles before the bible, like the DSS, and bibles after that. How come Constantine had to compile the first bible (325ad), and why were there many books left out. That doesn't sound like the work of an all powerful God and it certainly doesn't sound like the truth.

Still, for the atheist goober like me, you and us, checking out the Dead Sea Scrolls is made of awesome...even if it isn't all about partying like you are at a Dead show with those goddess like pretty ladies (Helllloooo). Enjoy fellow teammates....

Much Ado Part II

On Friday Mayor Michael Bloomberg made the decision to not have clergy in official capacity during the 9/11 memorial services because it would be like the government "shoving religion down peoples throats". There was an uproar from the evangelicals because they insisted that God be present, well, guess what...God was present anyways....

Former mayor Rudy Giuliani read from Ecclesiastes, G.W. Bush read a letter from Abraham Lincoln infused with Godly language and the One, President Obama read from Psalm 46. A couple of words here...government, God...throats. It reminds me of graduating ceremonies at some rural high school last year where a student complained that to have an official prayer during graduation would violate church and state stuffs. The loophole was that they prayed individually and not in official capacity. It looks like the adults took a page outta the high school kids book.

Believers are pissed and they want their country back (as if). It is similar to white males and feminism. If back in the day 9-10, or 10-10 jobs went to white males and now, because of the women's rights movement, it is more like 7-10, or 8-10. Certainly that is not fair or equal, so what are they complaining about? The secularists gain a metric inch but in order to be fair and equal, a mile needed to be achieved. So evangelicals, the very intolerant and extreme splinter cell of Christianity, did not get invited to speak at the 9/11 ceremony, so what, God was so totally present anyways. Sheez.

Look at today's Sac Bee, one of the headlines is about religion. In fact everyday in mainstream newspapers across the country, there are articles about religion...everyday. but we can't even speak up, is that what is going on (yes). We get one little bone thrown to us (Bloomberg's decision), then there is a backlash and outrage, and then they get their way anyways.

No one ever said don't believe or don't pray. By all means believe what you want to believe and do what you want to do. But don't complain because in the interest of fairness that you had to give an inch, when to be fair....miles and miles are needed.

Sheez.

The Historical Adam and Eve on NPR

"Hey was' up baby. Is that the, err, spring/summer fig leaf collection.

 Ya know, kind gentle and very goodlooking readers...we are smarter than other people (believers). So I get really happy when the rest of the world catches up to us. This morning on NPR there was an article about the historical Adam and Eve. I'm not shitting you. As everyone on Team Atheist knows the bible is not a historical document. The stories like Exodus are just that, stories. Years ago when I was taking a biology class we figured that it would be impossible for all the genetic diversity in the world to come from just two peeps (there just isn't enuff time).

In Genesis 2:7 The Lord (if that is your real name) made Adam and then Eve (and by being second all her ancestors are doomed to second class status) and from those two crazy kids in that sic arse garden comes: original sin, all of humanity, the reason why JC had to be crucified, the explanation of evil and suffering etc etc etc...Or not.

Dennis Venema, biologist believer guy, "That would be against all the genomic evidence that we've assembled over the last 20 years. He said that, if we work backwards, there is not enuff time to account for the genomic diversity. Mutation rates just don't happen fast enuff. If you go from Adam and Eve to the present two peeps cannot produce the genetic/genomic variation that is present today and visa versa.

What Venema and other conservative Christian scholars want is for their religion to evolve. He, and others, does not want a literal reading of the bible (nor do I). He wants people to approach it not with history in mind, but poetry, prose and storytelling and metaphor and allegory. I can actually go for those things.

Still, there are the really stubborn ones that do not want to change or accept the evidence in front of them (cognitive dissonance much). If Adam and Eve are not historical characters, then why was Jesus crucified. He needed to be crucified to absolve us of our sins.

Little by little society is catching up to the New Atheists/Team Atheist. The Great Flood never happened, the dying rising God is a myth borrowed from cultures predating Christianity and, now the historicy of Adam and Eve is being questioned....and that is what is called progress.

Awesomeness.

*NPR

The Return Of Muscular Christianity

Holy batshit Bat Peeps, here we go again. In the early 90's there was this terrible Christian movement called Promise Keepers. What was there promise...to keep their women down, to be the head of the household and to keep their women barefoot and prego, err, do God's work. Well, it's looks like muscular Christianity is back (le sigh).

Recently at a NASCAR event, during the public prayer no less, a pastor thanked God for his smoking hot wife (probably to the cheers of beer soaked male attendants). A Rev. Ed Young challenged his congregation to have sex every night for a week. Al Mohler chided his youth congregation for the sin of delaying marriage. Seemingly, it's always the Baptist that are so into second classing their women like this.

Ephesians 5: 21 Submit to one another in fear of the Messiah. 22 Wives should submit to their husbands as they do to the Lord; 23 because the husband is head of the wife, just as the Messiah, as head of the Messianic Community, is himself the one who keeps the body safe. 24 Just as the Messianic Community submits to the Messiah, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Hey ladies check out my guns...oh yea, and my dad is God.
Because Eve had the misfortune to be created second, and depending on which Genesis account we are talking about-from Adams rib, all her descendants are doomed to be subservient to men. Well, at least that is what the male dominated church wants you to believe. I once asked John Loftus of Debunking Christianity if the Gospel of Mary Magdalene was not included in the first bible because of a power play by the dudes of the day. He said he didn't know and referred me to Bart Erhman (I think I'm correct on this one).

In some circles it is claimed that Mary was the closest disciple of Jesus (and I mean real close, like naked close) and that the 12 dudes were totally jealous. That is why her gospel was not included when Constantine compiled the first bible in 325 A.D., and that is why to this day the men keep trying to testosterone the church.

This is why feminism, education and the liberalization of the church are so important (1). If the ladies are barefoot and prego, then they will not have the opportunity to go to college. If they do not go to college, then the chances of having their own economic power (read control of their own lives) diminishes greatly.

Personally, I wouldn't even want to chill will a subservient woman...even if she was smoking hot.

* Huff Po Evangelicals and Masculinity.

* Jesus for real men. (Real sexist men that is.)

* Muscular Christianity from the brainiac Austin Cline.

* What the bible says about women.

(1) I'm not an atheist that wants the total destruction of religion. I want it to evolve and move away from literal interpretations of the bible and away from sexism. If a little old lady goes to church every Sunday what the hell do I care, but if the church is like WBC and is keeping the GLBT community and women down, then I care.