Any Who v. Anyhoo And Butt Juice Amongst Other Things

Really, if Team Believer wants Team Atheist to stop making fun of their silly beliefs, then as the sayin' goes...stop having silly beliefs. If the GOP desires to NOT be perceived as extreme and foolish, then put a candidate up there that conservatives can support and that liberals would accept as worthy. Butt Juice (Rick) is the opposite of all of those thingies.

Booty Juice this past week went all, the president is not a Christian, referenced Hitler and Nazis (because no matter what side you are on, you can call the other side "Nazi" and that is an automatic insult. Sorta feel sorry for all the good German peeps.) and brought back the most ridiculous of the ridiculous of believers' beliefs...Satan.

Don't forget Satan...you can blame everything on Satan. The Prince of Darkness did it. Beezulbub (did I spell that correctly). Pure Evil did it. In fact, whatever went wrong, everytime, it is Satan. You the human, will never halfta accept the responsibility of your own freekin' actions and always pass the blame,.. but if good happens, then that's God (why, not because of evidence, because that is/was what we're told to believe and never question that, mere human).

We've talked about this before, peeps, but before we called it the presidency and the End of Times Scenario (American Jesus Christianity needs the establishment of Israel for the 2nd coming to happen), but it is still the same formula. Do we want a president that believes in, fuck I dunno how to even say it, he believes in an actual being/entity of some sort, that is pure evil, he can possess you and make you do the wrong. And this being is in direct opposition to your particular sky father, son, ghost combo, that you and your splinter group follows, therefore enemy-ville (because it was interpreted by modern day millionaires that often pray with the president and other politicians when not putting on their show at a mega church-25,000,000-ish)...that means everyone else in the world that does not subscribe to your specific and personal interpretation is going to that hell that the religious spokespeople we keep talking about (Bill!), but before that shit, you are my enemy and I'm gonna send you to hell...American Christian hell, boy!!!! Just kidding, having a little fun. I'm gonna kill you. Anyhoo...

 Me personally...I think "it's" going down this year at that one hot spot...you know what I'm talking about (1). Anywho...What if a super weirdo like Rick "Butt Juice" Santorum become the freekin' next president of the United States. First of all, I'd feel sorry for all the women. Fuck. Secondly...fuck. Look at the world and why there is division. I'll go really simple simple-stein on this one, I halfta go to work soon....

This last year we saw the evangelical pastor evolve his religion to NOT include hell. Rob Bell's Christianity is without that pesky and uncomfortable, and probably very stinky, hell. Gone, bye-bye, and don't let the door hit ya on the way out. There were some Christian denominations that split from the mainstream group to allow gat marriage and/or female clergy. Statistics show that radical lefty stuffs like contraception, premarital sex and LGBT issues is so "old white man" because the 'church' may be conservative, but the ladies in the congregation know what is up with reality (their bodies, their choice).

Then there are guys like Butt Juice (2). What if this dude won peeps. Imagine that the prob-lib crowd sat this one out claiming that "there is no way that they can win. Those guys are idiots (and that would be a true statement, I'm just sayin'...watch the fuck out.)." People, Butt Juice has brought back Satan. No one ever talks about Satan fucking shit up...it's always God-hurricanes, tornadoes, erff quakes...

I forgot why I saved this one.

Kriss' Equation of Death

Belief in a one third man, ghost, god (Rick's Catholicism) accompanied with the belief in an entity that for better words...is pure evil, PLUS, control over a huge military accompanied with the belief that your specific God made this exact situation for you (dominionism, American exceptionalism), EQUALS...

...It equals we better not let this shit happen. If the GOP had a 'contender' that was sound and reasonable, I would totally give credit and that would be a good thing. Heel, I would celebrate that. The way it is now is it is a race to see who is the best douche-bag to lose in the upcoming election against the awesome Black Prez. Religion has been a part of this thing the whole time (we knew it would be, right. wink wink) and week in week out...it continues to be a part of it.

I don't care if a person believes in that Satan that extreme, fire and brimstone, believers believe in because it doesn't matter and I don't care                                          That is until it does matter (err, like the presidency, yo), then, then with uber extremist believers (don't forget the American Taliban, peeps) in charge of the military and with their American Christian God loving finger on the bomb button...then I care.

* Washington Post On Faith

* Keywords: frothy, fecal, butt, juice, Rick the presidential candidate, hates and fears those awesome homos (just the awesome ones), I guess drink, drink can be a keyword, mmmm, beer-n-shit.

* Evolution of the style I call bro-speak. I will now spell "any who" like this "anyhoo." I think it's funnier the second way (this is the kinda thing i think about in the quite of my day in my head). Anyhoo....

(1) The one we have all been waiting fer...

Update: Caturday Book The Death Of Satan.