Sum Mo' War On Christmas...Please

And...they own the entire entertainment industry and have the highest population of hot, liberal, bisexual women.

WTF, am I Korean in my mourning for My Hero. They are mourning their Dear Leader for ten days, but I'm a gonna say fuck it and be a...baddass and just continue (which was gonna happs anyways...). I haven't done any War On Christmas this week, so guess what...not chicken butt.

Lemmie start with the stupid Nativity scene. It's fake. First of all ain't no one gonna chill in some goat stall, with sheep and goat poo and have a baby, in the...winter. Palestine is hella cold in the winter. Besides that...

Joseph and Mary were *allegedly* walking to, where the fuck were they walking to, I forget (I'm doing this from my shitting memory-and my memory hasn't worked for months now-fuck)...They were supposedly walking to a different city from where they lived, in winter, while Mary is super prego, to take part in a census-a census where there is no record, when they kept pretty good records of that stuff even back in the day. Hogwash (1).

And breasts.

The Nativity Myth is in two of the four gospels, Matt and Luke; but they describe two different thingies, with different words and different scenarios. If the savior that everyone has been waiting for really was born in a wall less barn in the middle of a field in cold ass Winter, then wouldn't that be in all the gospels; after all it was all prophesied-n-shit. Well, unless it is what the cool kids call fakey fake fakeness.

They should have driven to the census. The ancients were so stupid.

 Lemmie talk some shit about Mary (I'm in a bad mood, can ya tell). First of all...she was a hoe. She wasn't no virgin. You telling me my man Joseph wasn't, like, on her and inside her from the time they got married and before. Please. Howz about that myths of virgin births was a common theme for the ancients. Those playful Geeks gods were known to go down to da erffs for some of that good earthy white pussy that they liked so much. Ugh...was it Zeus that morphed into human form so he could get down with the earth ladies. I think so.

And you know what...something doesn't sound right about Mary all of a sudden discovering that she was prego. Is it in the gospel of Dj Matty-Matt that an angel told Joseph in a dream that Mary was prego (I think so. Remember, doing this from memory). But wait, innnnnnn, I guess, Gospel of Luke, once again an angel appears to Mary while she is awake and tells her that she is prego. So WTF. Is one gospel true while the other one is false, or are they both false (the latter).

Besides that, everyone knew Mary was prego because, and this is totally true, earlier in the day she was caught eating chocolate ice cream and a pickle simultaneously.

Should I go on...mmmm, I'll save some for tomorrow. Lemmie nutshell tho...The nativity is fake, the gospels are fake and Mary was no virgin (2). Have a wonderful day all you kind gentle and very good looking readers (esp. the ones who have stuck with me this year thru all my dookie brain stuffs. You know who you are.).



(1) Feels silly good to use a word that I have never used before. I'll take good feelings when evah I git dem.

(2) One more shoddy memory fact. Was it when the bible was translated to Greek that Mary became a virgin all of a sudden. All the cool infidel heathens know that, OK...I think I remember. It was Hebrew. the word is "alma". That meant young woman of marrying age. When it was translated to Greek because there was no word for that, that is when she became a virgin. Shit, OK, now I'm not that confident. Fuck it.