"Get Funky"

Like that old Beasty Boys song says, "Heeyyyyy, ladies, get funky." Apparently no one told that to Rush "The Pill Head" Limbaugh, or any of the current GOP candidates for that matter. We do not live in biblical times when a woman's job was to have as many children as possible (because of infant mortality rates-n-stuff) and neither do we live in a time when women are one (small) step above cattle and sheep on the who's the boss hierarchy.

I often say that there are factions in this country that want to bring America back to a 1950's culture, that may or may not have existed (if UR white), but with all the whoopla going on right now, it seems they wanna take us back 2,000 years to biblical times. Why? It's the contraception stupid.

The sexual revolution has changed a women's role from baby factory, and only that, to baby factory that also earns her own money (yo know because she is baddass independent-n-shit), takes care of the children and yea, if she is cool, then she is out there. (Yea don't forget all that sex-wink wink). But no one sent the memo to God's party. As we saw in the recent GOP discussion on women's bodies (with no women of the panel) and The Pill Head's super, and I do mean super stupid comments last week...these old white dudes either 1) wish they had their own flesh taco (1) to play with and control, or 2) that they want the return of absolute control over the fairer and (and in my opinion) the better half of the population.

Gee lemmie pull this one outta thin air, was it in the 5th century that the bishops created the myth that Mary Magdalene was a straight up hoe, and not that kind that digs holes, the kind that digs dudes (2). The super hottie Mary was Jesus' closest disciple and she was privy to *special teaching* from the son of god himself. Of course in ancient and stupid times like that, the dudes were all jealous-n-stuff. Some accounts claim that Mary was just as important as Peter in spreading early Christianity. I guess that is why the Gospel of Mary didn't make the cut when the bible as we know it today was first assembled. If it is hard for the ladies to break the glass ceiling right now, imagine how difficult it was during Jesus' time. Not much has changed since then.

Are you telling me Jesus didn't get on this. 

Now we have the Catholic bishops forcing the president to make changes to his mandate on contraception (which did not work), panels of old white dudes are teaming up to decide what women can and cannot do with their bodies, the Pill Head is calling an articulate (and pretty) young women a "slut" and a "prostitute" just because she wants access to contraception and...not one of them has asked what women want.

All the cool prog-lib, atheist, feminist  kids know what women want...they want control of their bodies and their destinies, and dagnabit, they fuckin' should have that. I yearn for the days when republicans were just about small government and limited spending. When they turned to God's party I dunno.

Not pretty or correct.

Pretty and correct.

If the conservative part of the political landscape is to continue in the up coming decades (and I'm all for that) then they must modernize and listen to the ladies. If religion is to survive in the upcoming decades (and I'm down for that also) then they need to modernize their views of sexuality and women.

Thanks for tuning in, yo.

(1) For those with no imagination the flesh taco is...pussy.

(2) Mary was actually from a wealthy family and one of Jesus' best students. It was not until those kooky bishops decided to creat the hoe-myth that Mary's role was dookie-ized.

* Romney, Santorum and their tired old ass beliefs on fertility.

* Mary Magdalene to The Pill Head

* An intro to the Gospel of Mary. Deff check this out. really good.