Gawd's Party Haz No Kegs

Remember the show Family Ties...I do.

Really, I long for the days when republicans were just normal people that I disagreed with because they only wanted small government and less taxes, and that was that. I dunno when it happened (I think it started in the 70's with Peanut, but it exploded in the 80's with The Gipper) but the republican right has become the party of sayin' "no", anti-awesome clean preppy and good looking homos, war on women folk, pro American colonialism, pro American elitism, and of course pro-surveillance camera in the sky (Gawd). We are far far away from the Young Republicans of the 80's (my best friend at the time was one of those, and so was Michael J. Fox's character on Family Ties). So WTF.

Oh, Mal...

If you thought that God was apolitical, then you probably also thought that God didn't watch football (he hearts the Denver Broncos), and you are wrong on both counts. If you thought that here in the awesome United States of American, that one need not be religious to run for freekin' president, then you are wrong again (just look at the overly religious GOP'rs right now).

The battle to be the one to lose to the super awesome Black Prez in the up coming election is ALLLLLLL about controlling religion (as opposed to the non-controlling, liberal, not literal religion that's OK by me). My loving LGBT friends cannot get married because they, somehow, destroy hetero marriage (but hetero divorce is never talked about) and what is it with old, white, religious dudes that wanna decided what and how women do with their bodies (abortion, health care, contraception). It's really weird.

My best friend in HS was a young republican, but he didnt look like Mallory. He's a dude.

The GOP'rs in the last year or so really really like singing pledges. Remember the Promise Keepers (I call them the Promise rapers) from last decade that promised to submit their women because God said so, and also control their families with an iron hand and called it taking back the family...they signed pledges. Currently there are republican pledges, that one MUST sign to show team loyalty, that not only *promise* no tax increases, but also promise/threaten no porn, no sex outside of marriage, no abortion and no contraception. So much for diversity within the republican right, right. If you don't sign the ridiculous, inhibiting and controlling pledge, then no soup and no party support for you-loser.

Choosing God's side has created the ultimate in polarization, so much so that political compromise is something that happened in the past (and that is a shame) and it doesn't look like it will happen in the near or any future (shame again). Choosing God's party has somehow turned off peoples brains and their ability to think critically. Many on the republican right believe that the super awesome Black Prez is a Mooslem and that because he doesn't subscribe to the elitist ideal of American Exceptionalism...he's not patriotic (c'mon now. If dude doesn't love American, then why does/did he make all the sacrifices to become the President. Really now). It's not lack of thinking..it's no thinking (aka stupidhead).

OM(nonexistent)G, she has the mischievous "I just did something wrong" look...forgive me, I'm cute.

 I'm no history buff, but was not this great country (and I do believe that this is STILL a great country) established from the ashes of a religious revolution. Did not the founders fight and successfully escape from religious tyranny of the Mother Land for the sake of freedom, including religious freedom (yes). What is the difference between our so called enemy of Islam, with their super controlling oppression, and their American counterparts that attempt to do the same thing through legislation, ingloriously called the...American Taliban. Nothing.

How is it that very smart and very good critics here in American can point the finger at other cultures and beliefs, but they refuse to do so upon themselves. Say it isn't so. The Pamela Geller's of the world cry out for justice and freedom from (specific) religious oppression, but their fingers are made of black kettles, rubber-glue and hypocrisy.

I wonder what she looks like right now. I wonder if she's...OK. I'm worried.

Lastly, what is at stake is not just the up coming election or how the republican right (and by default all of America) is perceived throughout the world. It is the world, or if you are an LOL Cat, da erffs. There are many parts to Gawd's party: American Exceptionalism, dominionism, the battle for secular society, err I mean religious liberty, the war to control women's bodies, my awesome LGBT friends and equality and don't ferget...the world economy. But because splinter cells of the Jesus cult, cells that are rampant, infiltrating and operating in all levels of government and private sectors, believe in the End of Times (1), then the entire world as we know it is in jeopardy.

Gawd's party haz no kegs and no life. Say it isn't so.

(1) American Exceptionalism, dominionism and the spreading of a literal interpretation of the bible by uber evangelicals includes the scenario of the End of Times. America supports Israel because in order for Jesus to come back (that is the only way), the chosen people MUST establish their homeland. When that happens, according to prophecy, Jesus will come back to da erffs, take back aprox. 80,000 of the lucky ones that DID choose the correct splinter cell of Christianity (outta so many), they will literally rise into the air (ascension) and go to a place called heaven thus leaving everyone else on da erffs to suffer an incredible suffering for all of eternity-that means forever.

(1) I'll just say it here right now...all the dudes wanted his TV show sister...Mallory. Hellloooo.

As a teenager, I also thought the mom was hot. The blond fat chick, nooooooo. I'm a jerk, so what.