(Unfortunately) Extremist Make The World Go Around

I have never seen an "immodest" 8y/o girl. I have seen many a 8y/o in my day, but never one that was "slutty." I just think that it is impossible. Then again I'm not Jewish. Then again I'm not the splinter cell within Judaism (I know that they are not a splinter cell, that is just what I say when I wanna insult peeps) know as ultra-Orthodox Haredi Jewish dudes. Here's a nutshell in case you don't know what's going on...

The reggae, hip hop Jewish awesomeness, Matisyahu, just cut his hair, which is against the "rules."

...a second grade girl got the worlds attention because these extreme Jews hate her. Why, because she is "immodest" Why? She was wearing a long sleeve shirt and a 3/4'rs skirt and she was walking on the same sidewalk as the men folk (which is a no no, to them). In fact, the women folk have to enter the temple thru a side door and worship in a diff area, they have to sit in the back of the bus (yes, this IS 2011). Not only is this one girl treated like this, it is the whole school of girls. There is a 'space' problem in Jew-ville and the extremists are pissed because there is a girls school in their neighborhood-n-shit.

Gross, look how "immodest" she is. Where are her parents.

This splinter cell of Judaism is very strict about their dress and beliefs (obviously, right. dugh) and their hair. They have a special place in society where their job is to study the Torah...and that is it (wouldn't that be awesome if your job was to study atheism and then you could control/command people. Well except that last part). err, awesome. Anywho....

It's 2011 and in a blink, it will be 2012. What do we have here? Do we have religion paving the positive way for society and making everything awesome for everyone.Are we advancing thot, philosophy and humanity, or....is this an example of religion holding peeps and the world that peeps live in, back, as in NOT forward, as in not getting better and perhaps getting worse.  I can only speak for myself, but I believe that Team Atheist wouldn't mind religion if it were a source of ONLY good. As it is right now, it is a source of good and bad (and if you are religious and you can't admit that, then get outta here, U-not honest, loser).

I Googled "religion unites people" and this came up.

Why would I wanna belong to a club that thinks it's OK to throw rocks at little girls going to school (there is a video, but I couldn't find it) and spit on them (if someone spit on me, I'd kick their arse). If I'm a dude and I get on a bus I have the right to tell, not ask, some old lady to go and sit in the back. I don't know if she is sick, ill, just got off of work or what, but then studly me, I can demand "git in the back, beeotch." I could go on and on and on and on...

It is my hope that in the next year humanity unites and steps up to that plate that all the cool kids keep talking about and makes the world a better place. Is it getting better or is the world getting worse? When I hear stories like this, well, you know what I think; but I still have hope, I still believe in humanity.

This is why the battle for secular society is so important. It means equality for all. It means that divisive religion, whatevah religion it is, will have not place in the public arena.

* Article in Slate.


I Googled "Jewish cat" fer these gems. Just like their ladies...Jewsih cats are so cute.

The Sense Of Science

Take er' easy big fella, take er' easy.

Wow, I'am really avoiding my next installment of (say it in an all knowing, deep and mysterious God voice) A WHOLE WEEK OF THE YEAR IN REVIEW....n-shit. Instead, let's git out science on.

I like my vitamins drip fed to me (even tho there is no proof it is better or whatevah).

I do believe that I wrote about the super awesome group called Sense About Science (SAS) last year at this time. Just like the Darwin Awards, SAS shows the stupid that humans do and in this case, the stupid concerning celebrities, science and stupid celebrity endorsement science. Without looking at last years post, just off the top of my head-n-shit, I would bet Annie's last bottom dollar that Jenny McCarthey and her autism research was one of the big winners. But what about this year...

For whatevah reason (money and gullible people) cleaning the inside of your booty was a huge money maker and people all around the country wuz doing the cleanse. Typical of pseudoscience there is a little tiny grain of truth to the effectiveness of colon cleansing( for specific purposes). But if you hear a claim that something is a panacea, that is something that can cure a wide variety of stuffs, then your skeptic meter should be going off. How or why does the butt douche prevent, let's say, sore throats. It doesn't, but that won't stop that money grubbing industry from selling that to you.

Presidential candidate, Michele "Crazy Eyes" Bachmann said the science stupid this year when she claimed that she knew someone whoz daughter became "mentally retarded" after receiving the HPV vaccine. Will someone please tell the lawyer, she is a lawyer isn't she, Bachmann that correlation is not necessarily causation. Perhaps the woman's daughter stepped on a crack or walked under a ladder or something.

I do not have a TV but apparently there is a TV personality named Polizzi. This brainiac made the stupid statement that s/he doesn't like going to the beach because the ocean water is salty because it is full of whale sperm. I'm not even going to touch that one (rim shot, then laughter).

In another example of correlation is not always causation...A French footwear designer (is that a job?) made the claim that hi-heels are designed that way because that is the shape of a woman's foot when she has an orgasm. The belief is that if one puts their feet in that position they are literally putting themselves in position to have an orgasm. If it were only that easy, le sigh.

Gross, I Googled "hi heels orgasm" and a bunch of porn came up. Seriously, I'm anti porn.

Here in what is usually super awesome Sacramento we named our one and only big time sports arena after the creepy and fraud-y Power Balance Bracelet. Worn by many prominent athletes (Shaq, Beckham) the silicone hologram bracelet is supposed to increase energy, endurance, increase balance and totally give you an advantage over the loser that doesn't have one. Fo sho it could be one of those things, what do the cool people call it-self fullfilling prophecy, where you anticipate doing better and you have the confidence (even tho it is false) to do better, and guess what, you do better. but as far as instantly making one into super jock...probably not.

And lastly...a word from our sponsors.

"From fashion to fad-diets, medicine to super foods, and the environment to allergies, at Sense About Science we continue to monitor the science claims made each year by the influential and the famous. Scientists and members of the public send us the claims they have seen – about products, lifestyle choices and campaigns – that appear to make little scientific sense. We ask scientists to respond so that we can help celebrities realise where they were going wrong and encourage public discussion about sound science."

I just like this picture.

* Guardian UK

* The super bad thingy about the bad 'ol celebrity endorsements is that it might take years to reverse all the bad cancer advice, all the bad back problem advice and all the bad and incorrect advice...period. Most people can name hella celebrities, but the average peep not on Team Atheist or Team Skeptic cannot name a scientist much less know pseudoscience if it hit 'em in the head with a recently calibrated e-meter stolen from Tom Cruise's closet (what the hell did I just say).

Must Seek Out More Film Experiences

In the late 80's and early 90's I really really really hearted David Lynch. I kinda lost touch, not just with him, but with film in general. I just don't go to see film anymore. Oh wellz, that's what new years resolutions are for. This vid is encouraging....

<iframe src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/33993633?title=0&amp;byline=0&amp;portrait=0" width="400" height="200" frameborder="0" webkitAllowFullScreen mozallowfullscreen allowFullScreen></iframe><p><a href="http://vimeo.com/33993633">David Lynch in Four Movements - A Tribute</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/user9586365">Richard Vezina</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com">Vimeo</a>.</p>

Really, I don't know why I stopped. I think cinema is fantastic. It encompasses all the arts at the same time. Keep in mind I'm not talking about going to the movies, that's bullshit. I'm talking about film.

Tim v. Bill

This is good coffee or sumthin'...I'm a gonna do another quick hitter post. So anyways, Bill Maher tweeted the other day "Wow, Jesus just f###d #TimTebow bad! And on Xmas Eve! Somewhere in hell Satan is tebowing, saying to Hitler "Hey, Buffalo's killin' them". Then the outrage happened. OK, errr, not his best joke, but it was a joke, ya know being that Bill is a comedian and all.

In Timmy's mind while this picture is being taken, "Thank you Lord, thank you."

 You might not like the joke, but dude has the right to tell the joke. You don't have to laugh. You can change the channel or whateverah, even tho it's twitter. If people are a gonna be outraged over this, then they have to be outraged everytime that they say shit like, gee I dunno, "I'm/we are going to hell and we will suffer forever, unless of course you subscribe to what we believe."

(Or...lemmie get another one) Believe what we believe or my saviors dad will kill you, but somehow you will still suffer....forever, while we chill in a totally nice place.

(Or) You have sinned, you have always sinned and you must repent, but there is only one way to do that...I don't care if you were just born. Sinner.

(Or) I have a plan for everything, but you can pray to me (God) because I answer all prayers, but it still goes according to my amazing and infallible plan, you see, human, you are to stupid to understand my mysterious ways (so mysterious it seems that there is no plan, but I thought of that-human)..is that confusing...then pray.

I think that is way more harmful than Bills joke. At least it's a joke. when you say that...you're fer real.

* Funny thing. I kinda like Timmy. After all he does help poor peeps in my beautiful Philippines, and I certainly cannot hate a guy for that.

Awwwww, The Baby Rhinos

Is this touching or am I going crazy...don't answer that.

I'm having my first cup o' coffee, opened the first newspaper, went to the first article and it's...touching.  35 probably stinky (1). Are things getting better or worse or both simult. I just thought it was nice...there's baby rhinos also.

All babies are cute...even stinky baby rhinos.

(1) Parts of the jungle are really stinky. I totally bet that rhinos are Stank-os also.

Hello 80's

I know I promised a whole week of (say it in a huge God voice) THE YEAR IN REVIEW, but quite frankly, I'm in a good mood right now and I wuz agonna write about me becoming an full fledged angry atheist, which would be a switch from what I call the accomodationalist atheist...but let's talk about music instead.

My super awesome lil brother (that is huger than I) invited me to go see The English Beat at Bimbos (SF) not this weekend, but next weekend. I haven't enjoyed that music that the cool kids keep talking about, mmm, about all year and I actually have positive feelings about this. I would say, I'm semi-stoked right now.

First of all, I have never been to Bimbos. If it is like any of the other places in The City, then it will have brass molding, murals and an oldsie retro feel. My fav place is the historic Filmore and then, I guess, Great American Music Hall. Lot's of the old places that I used to check out, The Keystone and Mabuhay Gardens, are not even around. Just like all those oldsie retro movie theaters, that used to be scattered about in all the nieghborhoods, the music venues of my 80's experience, The Keystone and Mabuhay Gardens, are all a thing of the past. One of the reasons I'm semi-stoke about this show is that I have never been to Bimbos. Awesome sauce.

Another reason I'm semi-stoked is because The English Beat was one of my favs from the 80's (that I keep talking about). As I go down the list of my favorite bands from the decade of my teens, I have pretty much seen every and all the bands that I really hearted back then. I've seen R.E.M., U2 (3X's), The Red Hot Chili Peppers (before they got super huge), The Cure, The Smiths, Oingo Boingo, Simple Minds and Depeche Mode to name a few (and that is not to include all the punk bands and smaller type shows). Off the top of my head I would say that I would have liked to see The Clash or The Police, but other than that...I think I got them all.

I don't know why I never went to see The English Beat. After punk, and with a little bit of overlap, ska was one of my favorite 80's styles of music. If ya don't know, ska is reggae on meth and steroids. It is the definition of upbeat. Bands like The Specials, Selector, as well as TEB, were part of a movement called Two Tone. It had it's own fashion. For example, I would wear dark slacks with pegged legs, penny loafers or...or, dam I forgot what those shoes are called, anywho...skinny black tie, white collared shirt, plaid small hat (I forgot what that is called also), trench coat if necessary, black turtle necks and my prized possession...my prescription Ray Ban Wayferer tinted glasses. Man wish I had pictures of mod Chris (I was Chris back then not Kriss)...oh yea, and my bi-level hair cut and black eyeliner. I totally bought into that culture.

As a minority growing up in the country surrounded by rednecks it was difficult to find my people. there were Filipino people in Santa Rosa but it wasn't like I hung around them (obviously from an early age I was alternative, deff. not mainstream. Thanks marijuana). Going to shows, wheter it was punk, New Wave or ska, was like going home to my people. I didn't feel comfortable at home, at school I was accepted because I was also a jock and popular and in student body-but I didn't feel at home there, and it wasn't like I was chillin' with my jock friends after practice-n-stuff. To put on that uniform whatever it was that year, at that time and to go to this entirely different world, many times in San Francisco, where people looked like me, we danced to music we loved and we sang the songs because we memorized the lyrics...it meant so much to me.

 I have seen the "offshoots" of the English Beat in the late 80's and early 90's. General Public was the best, but it didn't satisfy me because I wanted to hear some Beat songs" mirror in the bathroom, click click, I confess. One time we went to the really awesome Greek Theater in Berkeley and saw this hybrid band of different ska bands (Boingo, Beat, Selector...whoeveah) but it was horrible. horrible I tell ya. I remember we were so disappointed and the drive back to Santa Rosa was shit.

The Fine Young Cannibals were pretty good...in fact I saw them at the Greek Theater and they opened up for UB40, who always had an upbeat band open for them (another time I saw UB40 Midnight Oil opened up-epic)...but in my heart I knew that I wanted the full ska experience of The English Beat. By this time I had already seen fishbone a million times and they started going into their rock phase anyways and also by this time, Oingo Boingo had broken up. I wanted some Beat.

So this is a cool thingy, ya know, being all semi-stoked to see a show, when I haven't seen a show in a while and it's a band that I always hearted  but never saw. fo sho I will write a review, just like I always do and...and...well, wish me luck cause it's a oong cold Winter and the City is full of that Hearting I keep talking about.

Awesome.

* OK now I remember...wing tips. Those are the shoes.

* I'm scared I'm going to injure myself because the music is so upbeat. Perhaps I should try some more cardio before the event.

I Found Jesus, He's In Japan

This is too awesome. Jesus is buried in Japan. Really. Shingo Aomori Prefecture, home of aprox 3,000, is where Jesus is buried. Ya know how I asked the other day what about those missing years of dudes life in the bible-n-shit. Well, this video claims that those missing teenage years he was studying in Japan and then went back home...you know, to be Jesus Christ.

The missing part of the puzzle, the part that the authorities don't want us to know is that...mmm, let's see how should I say this (I'll just say it): Jesus was not crucified   he went back to Japan   his lil' brother got crucified instead   he settled in the mountains in Japan   became a rice farmer   did not do miracles, but it was agreed that he was generally a very pleasant person to be around   and he lived to be 106   had wife and three kids   oh yea   his brothers ears and a lock of his moms hair are also buried there   that is all.

There is this Wiki page and it has hella links. I have never heard of this until moments ago. This is so epic.

Teh Gay News

I'll do another year in review post later, first up tho...Those powerful gays. Shit man, they cause erff quakes, tsunamis, hell, they probably caused the financial meltdown (and fo sho the war on women because they created hi-heals, right?). Conservatives finally have the proof that they need to show that teh gay actually does harm traditional marriage (that is where a woman and a man are married and the man totally dominates...dominates). Here's the proof....

God said "Traditional marriage only...that's what the bible says. I cheated on my husband."

It's a confession of sorts...in the form of an apology. John Medeiros on behalf of All Gay and Lesbian Minnesotans said sorry for making Senator Amy Koch (R) cheat on her husband. Dude said something like we apologize for our successful efforts to ruin your traditional marriage, ya know with all our gay marriage talk-n-stuff. Here's some money...


"We apologize that our selfish requests to marry those we love has cheapened and degraded traditional marriage so much that we caused you to stray from your own holy union for something more cheap and tawdry. And we are doubly remorseful in knowing that many will see this as a form of sexual harassment of a subordinate."


Well that is sooooo honest and heartfelt. I just wish that more people on both sides of the debate would be this honest. Sen. Koch was very vocal when gay marriage came up recently.

In other teh gay v. religion news...

Chicago Cardinal Francis George said that the upcoming 2012 Gay Pride Fest has the potential to be much like a...KKK rally. It was on Fox News so we know that it's true. Now I've heard everything.

Come back later for some Year In Review stuffs.

* Here's the letter. It's really epic and worth a read.

* KKK, err, I mean teh gay.

A Week OF...The Year In Review. Return to You

So I hope that everyone survived, mmmmm, Isaac Newton's birthday yesterday. Yesterday was the first time in probably tens years that I did something on xmas. "K" thank you so much. I know, what the hell, is this atheist getting soft, or was I just hungry...both. I dunno.

As all you kind gentle and very good looking readers know it has been the most difficult year for me. I acknowledged my depression at this time last year, I suffered most of the year, I'm on meds now and for the most part everything is going really good (it sure was tuff that weekend Hitch died, but I'm over that now). In the middle of the hours, days, weeks and months of suffering I started, for better of worse, my failed project Nu Kriss Summer/Winter 2011. I recall always saying "The Phoenix arises from the ashes...but I'm still in the ashes part." Well now I'm not in the ashes part and if this is the Phoenix part..then fuck, the Phoenix kinda sucks.

I started the project because I needed something to do when I didn't have meds, then when I was waiting for the meds to kick in. I suffered outwardly (is that a word, it is now) and wore it on my sleeve. I'm a lot of things, but I'm not fake. Because of that, so many peeps gave me advice (some good, some bad, some that made me mad). I did the eat better, as well as don't do drugs, don't drink that much and exercise. One of the other thingies was that reinventing of myself that people are always talking about. A new me, a makeover for my soul, if I can say that and still be on the Team. The past few months I've literally have shed my skin. I have become new. Not only have I turned that metaphorical page, I feel like I've turned a novels worth of pages and I'm still not at the end of it, yet.

I haven't watched (or played) sports, or martial arts and I haven't played music or even listened to music pretty much the whole year. The one show I went to in early summer was ruined by my depression/anxiety. Hell, (formerly) my Forty Niner's are in first place after ten years of living in Suckville...and I haven't seen one game this season. For a while, and I wrote many posts on this, I contemplated changing into a full-fledged angry atheist. No more apologizing to liberal believers, no more splitting hairs between extreme and moderate religion. I still haven't decided what to do on that one, but if people started to see me as a Filipino Christopher Hitchens in new my unapologetic stance on religion...then awesome (juries still out tho). Why? I didn't know what to do. I thought change would be a good thing (and that is still up for debate) so I decided to do the opposite of what I have always done. Isn't that the definition of change?

So, I'm still Phoenix-ing and still shedding, but the other nite I played music for the first time in months. I was crapola and drunk, but it was an effort where there had been no effort whatsoevah before that nite. Another thingy I have recently done and fo sho I thought I would never do that again was think about...You.

Baby, I used to write You epic love poems where I poured out, what at one time I called, my Hearting. For a long time here every Friday was Love Poem Friday, then I turned it to "Friday, I'm in Love"....Then the depression happened and I had no more Hearting. Then after that there was no more You. About a month ago I was ready to leave town and never come back. I was not going to say goodbye. I was never going to see You or think of You again (I was fuckin' pissed at that time). But hold the phone...something is happening.

I have been thinking about You, again. And while I still want to move, I'm going to do it right, ya know, with a plan and all that shit (I really was gonna leave with just a backpack and very little money, no place to stay and no job. Like I said, I was pissed.). I guess change happens in mysterious ways. I do not know the destination of Nu Kriss, I just know that I'm on the road and that journey that people keep talking about is totally journey-ing right now...and You are back in my thoughts (dam, it's been a while baby).

...and ya know what, it feels good to be Hearting again. It feels good to think about You. Ya hear that, baby. That is the sound of a very large lady NOT singing.

* The epic epicness of Love Poem Friday. Honestly, I'm not capable of writing like this right now and I don't know if I will ever have enuff Hearting in my soul to ever write like this again. I'm just saying...I thought of You. Here. Here. Here.

The Earthly Father

Even Atheist Cat knows Jesus wasn't born in the Winter.

First of all thanks to everyone for all the birthday wishes-n-shit and thanks for coming over and forcing me to drink that much. Yesterday I got outta bed twice, one to puke and once to take a shit (and just so you know...it was fantastic). I'm still outta shape right now, but that doesn't means I'm gonna skip the last installment of War On Christmas.

Jesus wasn't born on the 25th. Even conservative scholars worth their salt can admit the "authorities" back in the day hijacked the date of the 25th in an attempt to get those dirty skinky pagans over on Team Christians. That's not what I wanna talk about. What about Jesus' baby daddy, Joe.

Where is Joseph on the Christmas cards and nativity scenes. In the back or no where all all I tell ya. If fact how old is Joseph. He is barely in the bible, he has no dialogue in any of the gospels so WTF. Some peeps believe that he was young-ish, others believe that he is older and even a widower with previous chillin' the brothers and sisters of Jesus.

Joseph was actually a cool guy. After all, his old lady got knocked up by God and he still raised baby Jesus for like 13 years, right. And you know what all you angry atheists...that is a very nice thingy. He raised a child not biologically his and he still was very devout to God. I dunno, am I getting soft in my still hungover state. Gee, I really do think that nice.

I will point out tho...what about Jesus' teenage years. Are we to believe that the most important person in the world has no 'record' from (is it) 13-32-ish. This where conspiracy peeps will tell you that he went to India and studied Buddhism, and you know what, kind gentle and very good looking readers...I don't care.

Some questions tho. Where was Joseph during the crucifixion? Would not a father go to that. What about when dude was performing magic, errr, miracles, walking on water-n-shit like that. Dads are into that stuff. They go to little league games, pop warner, plays & band recitals. If I was Jesus' dad I would have been in the stands screaming "Yea, buddy, that's MY boy. Go "J". Go "J"" as he preformed various miracles...embarrassed the way that children get embarrassed when their parents do that.

Any who...Joseph seems like a cool dude. Obviously he must have died before Jesus died and he left Mary with some money, because she didn't get remarried which was the custom of the time. But just like the gaps in the life of Jesus (really where was he 13-32), we should consider the gaps in knowledge of the earthly father, Joseph.

Have a great loving, secular and godless day, everyone.

* I'm gonna puke right now, so no editing. Gross.

Thank You Peeps

First of all, I want to say thanks all you kind gentle and very good looking readers for being residents of the place called, Awesome-ville. Yesterday, I went over 100,000 hits, which to me, it might as well be 100,000 kisses from (formerly called)...HER. It means so much to me that peeps find this place interesting enuff to come here day in and day out (esp. w/my mood swings, bad spelling, recent bitterness with only the occasional good post). I've always wanted to be a writer, even before wanting to be a rock star and/or martial arts baddass.

The first part of my life I have relied on, how should I say this, my hunky body, fantastic waist length silky black hair, oh and let's not forget my Asian good looks and thick lips of passion. As I age I wanna be known more for my brain (the one up top, not in my pants), my critical thinking and reasoning skills, my intellect and not just my rock hard sculpted body...to die for (and if we can have a few laughs along the way, then awesome sauce).

I'm a proud, card carrying member of Team Skeptic and Team Atheist. I believe in the atheist blogosphere and even tho we are not organized like organized religion, I believe we are all on the same team. We are diverse and come from many different types of backgrounds, but what we have in common is that we identify ourselves as atheist and skeptic. I've been on many teams in this lifetime and every team that I have been on...I have been the captain. Of all the teams in all the sports, in all the dojos throughout the decades, I am most proud to be on Team Atheist (aka The New Atheist). I really believe in this. I really do believe that this is the Golden Age of Atheism. And yes, I do believe that we are on the correct side of history. 50 years from now we will look back and say, just like the feminist said in the 70's..."You've come a long way baby."

So thanks for coming with me. I hope that we can learn together, stick together and when applicable, laugh together. Here's to the next hundred thousand...now let's destroy us some Xmas...beeotches.

Signed, the most humble person in the world,

Kriss

Sum Mo' War On Christmas...Please

And...they own the entire entertainment industry and have the highest population of hot, liberal, bisexual women.

WTF, am I Korean in my mourning for My Hero. They are mourning their Dear Leader for ten days, but I'm a gonna say fuck it and be a...baddass and just continue (which was gonna happs anyways...). I haven't done any War On Christmas this week, so guess what...not chicken butt.

Lemmie start with the stupid Nativity scene. It's fake. First of all ain't no one gonna chill in some goat stall, with sheep and goat poo and have a baby, in the...winter. Palestine is hella cold in the winter. Besides that...

Joseph and Mary were *allegedly* walking to, where the fuck were they walking to, I forget (I'm doing this from my shitting memory-and my memory hasn't worked for months now-fuck)...They were supposedly walking to a different city from where they lived, in winter, while Mary is super prego, to take part in a census-a census where there is no record, when they kept pretty good records of that stuff even back in the day. Hogwash (1).

And breasts.

The Nativity Myth is in two of the four gospels, Matt and Luke; but they describe two different thingies, with different words and different scenarios. If the savior that everyone has been waiting for really was born in a wall less barn in the middle of a field in cold ass Winter, then wouldn't that be in all the gospels; after all it was all prophesied-n-shit. Well, unless it is what the cool kids call fakey fake fakeness.

They should have driven to the census. The ancients were so stupid.

 Lemmie talk some shit about Mary (I'm in a bad mood, can ya tell). First of all...she was a hoe. She wasn't no virgin. You telling me my man Joseph wasn't, like, on her and inside her from the time they got married and before. Please. Howz about that myths of virgin births was a common theme for the ancients. Those playful Geeks gods were known to go down to da erffs for some of that good earthy white pussy that they liked so much. Ugh...was it Zeus that morphed into human form so he could get down with the earth ladies. I think so.

And you know what...something doesn't sound right about Mary all of a sudden discovering that she was prego. Is it in the gospel of Dj Matty-Matt that an angel told Joseph in a dream that Mary was prego (I think so. Remember, doing this from memory). But wait, innnnnnn, I guess, Gospel of Luke, once again an angel appears to Mary while she is awake and tells her that she is prego. So WTF. Is one gospel true while the other one is false, or are they both false (the latter).

Besides that, everyone knew Mary was prego because, and this is totally true, earlier in the day she was caught eating chocolate ice cream and a pickle simultaneously.

Should I go on...mmmm, I'll save some for tomorrow. Lemmie nutshell tho...The nativity is fake, the gospels are fake and Mary was no virgin (2). Have a wonderful day all you kind gentle and very good looking readers (esp. the ones who have stuck with me this year thru all my dookie brain stuffs. You know who you are.).



(1) Feels silly good to use a word that I have never used before. I'll take good feelings when evah I git dem.

(2) One more shoddy memory fact. Was it when the bible was translated to Greek that Mary became a virgin all of a sudden. All the cool infidel heathens know that, OK...I think I remember. It was Hebrew. the word is "alma". That meant young woman of marrying age. When it was translated to Greek because there was no word for that, that is when she became a virgin. Shit, OK, now I'm not that confident. Fuck it.

Fuck

This can't be right. Why am I still crying...am I happy, sad...WTF. My atheist blogosphere homie, Steve at Left Hemispheres wrote this.

What the fuck.......

This one is for you, Hitch.

Philippines declares 'state of calamity' - Asia-Pacific - Al Jazeera English

Philippines declares 'state of calamity' - Asia-Pacific - Al Jazeera English

Sainthood, Miracles and Wack a Mole

Didn't the church f*ck up Native Americas back in the day. Oh wait, they were civilizing them (and raping them, and killing them and giving them diseases). So this morning when I wasn't playing wack a mole in my bed, and I was listening to NPR, I was so WTF...Pope Dookie Head started the canonization process for a Native American to become a saint. Ugh, I feel lazing right now, do I wanna go into all the details-n-stuffs (this is why I'm a stoner blogger and not a journalist). Ugh.

OK then, on to some of those pesky details (I'm not even gonna research this, I'm doing it from memory, so there) that make articles good and newsworthy. There is a boy that got into an accident and when he was in the hospital he got a flesh eating strep infection, the doctors said "sorry, this is all we can do", they are Native American so an elder suggested praying to Kateri Tekalwith, of the tribe that they are from-Lummi-because she was also disfigured by that small pox that came from whitey. Guess what, it frackin' worked. Or did it.

The boy, five year old Lil' Jake, got better. An elder came and "I pinned that relic (a coin with her image on it) to his pillow and I read that prayer to him every single day." Then lil' Jake was cured. Man oh man, that IS the definition of a miracle, which btw is one of the requirements to become a saint...which btw Kateri is on her way to become (so sayith Pope Dookie Head). Oh wait...one more thing. Lil' Jake was receiving the best medical attention at the hospital that he was staying at. So...WTF.

First of all Team Skeptic, if that is your/our real name, there is no such thing as a miracle. Fo sho there are miraculous events that do occur, but a true blue miracle, an event that defies the natural laws of the universe...well, that shit don't exist man. Admittedly, we may not be able to explain how Lil Jake's flesh eating disease just plain stopped, but to automatically chalk it up to a *miracle* is to insert that god that everyone keeps talking about into those gaps that skeptics keep talking about (which are also the gaps that science keeps filling). 

Second...prayer don't workie workie either. That Study of Therapeutic Effects of Intercessory Prayer that Team Atheist keeps referring to concluded that 1) prayer had no effect on recovery and 2) the patients that were prayed for did worse. Yes that is, did worse. If you are on the Team and you haven't checked out that particular study, check it out, yo.

This is the result of Googling Pope Dookie Head.

So what is there, besides chalking up to " I dunno." What is there? The only thingy that really does exist, all you kind gentle and very good looking readers, statistics and probability (yippie). There was a chance of passing away for Lil Jake, but there was also a chance of surviving. Occurrences with the probability of 1-1 million happen several times a day. Weirder things have happened: the tornado that rips up a town, but that one house is untouched, cancer remission for no apparent reason and Lil Jakes strep infection just plain stopping (and now that I think of it, perhaps it ran it's course). Again, just because right now we cannot explain how the recovery happened, we do not have to go right for the miracle card. Miraculous yes, but to say it is a bonnafide miracle, like from God-n-shit, no way (1). OK back to Native Americans.

I think this song is romantico and I saw them in the early 90's and when they were playing they asked for weed and people threw joints onto the stage.

It always perplexes me when beautiful brown people accept and promote the very God, the whitey god, when dudes peeps fucked us up. Let's see, mmmm, slavery was ordained by God but then the very same God was used for redemption of the slaves. My Filipino peeps were all, like, kill-ed, raped and kill-ed some more by those Spanish and now the Philippines boasts (to my embarrassment) to be the most Catholic country in S.E. Asia. And now, because of Pope Dookie Head, we have the original nature loving hippies, the Native Americans, being canonized and sent down the road to sainthood.

Say it isn't so.

* Friendly Atheist

* The actual survey

* USA Today article

* Formely known as The Skeptics Dictionary For The New Millennium...I think.

(1) ...and howz about instead of claiming its a miracle, why don't we use the scientific method and solve this mystery. that is the difference between faith and science...the quest for truth.

* I don't know why that one paragraph is underlined. Revoke my Asian nerd card.

While We Were Alseep

What the f*ck, if I wasn't such an atheist I'd say God(s) are against me. But which one(s): Apollo, Zeus or Thor (who fucking cares). I'am so saddened to announce that the man that generously put on this really epic concert I go to most years has passed away.

Warren Hellman, I do believe has was a billionaire, graciously hosted and paid for the entire three day music festival called Hardly Strickly Bluegrass. This concert is so epic that the last time I went (I skipped this year, ya know person problems-n-stuff) I thought that I might not go again because it's getting "too crowded."

So dude fo sho was a 1%'er, but he wasn't a dick about it. In fact he gave to his school (UC Berkeley), help the City is more ways than one and even said classic stuffs like "What the hell is the money for, if not for stuff like that (concerning HSBF)." Hellman is such a great guy that Speedway Meadows in golden Gate Park, the site of some of the best times of my life, will be renamed Hellman Meadows. Great tribute for a great man.

Speaking of a great man...The Supreme Leader, Kim Jong Il, passed away this weekend. Ugh, so much for that atheist utopian society...guess we all better become believers, right-wrong. Whenevah there is a theist/nontheist debate they always bring up Pol Pot or North Korea as examples of why we need faith in public life and not separation of church in state, after all, those are atheist leaders in godless states, right-wrong.

Is this racist of me...so what. Fuck you.

The Crusades were done in the name of God, these wars that we just left, in the name of God, North Korea NOT IN THE NAME OF ATHEISM. That is the difference: God equals kill and atheism only means no belief in God and no killing. We'll see what his butt ugly son will do after the Korean mourning period is finished (I believe it's like a week), or if he gets "coo-d" by some old school general dude.

Meanwhile in secular England, their Supreme Leader, the one that admits that he is a "committed" Christian, but also a "vaguely practicing" Christian, recently said "We are a Christian country and we should not be afraid to say so." Well, my second favorite (and I guess by default, he is now my favorite) Prof. Richard "Papa Bear" Dawkins has something to say about that (eat right and exercise Papa Bear, I can't lose you too).

Finally, I propose that we start a new calendar year and call it After-Hitch. So I guess today would be 0000-003AH.

That's all folks. Have a great week-n-shit like that.

...not ready...

I'm not ready for the sun to set...

...I'm telling You, baby...I'm not ready for the sun to set. I'm not ready to call it quits.

* If I haven't used it all already...patience.

I'll Carry The Torch And Stick It Up Some Arse

Will my hero's soul, whatevah that is, go to the big bar in the sky (because, err, after all, for blokes like us, that IS what heaven is), or WTF. Hitch's debating partner Douglas Wilson wrote a nice piece (and as far as I have read, all the religious folks have said nice things about Hitch-thank you), but he did mention that as far as My Hero's soul...well, we all know the rules right (renounce your evil ways, to enter the kingdom of God or something to that extent), and if you don't, as Mr. Wilson points out "he is lost forever."

Douglas Wilson was in the documentary Collision with Hitch and dagnabit...the guy is really smart. I'm not one of those New Atheists that does not give credit where credit is due. I am not a scholar or a public intellectual (as Hitch was often called), I'm just this dude that works in a cafe. I certainly do not like the way, let's say Dinish D'Souza, speaks about Team Atheist, nor do I agree that a one third god/ghost/man is coming back to do his thing "in our generation", but can dude whip my ass in debate. Yes (1). But does that mean a lay atheist like myself is defenseless against those big Christian/Jewish debaters. No.

I can't recall if I ever said this in Catholic school, but it really sounds like something I would say, or even what a normal inquisitive kid would ask and say. If one can recant their evil ways on their death bed, and accept the Lord, then why even practice in the first place, why even practice a religion, or any religion for your life. You go to the same heaven, right, whether you died a lifelong practitioner or accepted as that light quickly approaches. So...WTF. I know the theistic response, in fact I know several of them. That is not the point.

So I totally bro-crushed on My Hero. It really really....really breaks me up to hear that his demise is NOT greatly exaggerated (Really, I don't recall ever crying so much on one day: Grandma died, cat died, broke up with g-friend etc...). I kept thinking who is going to take his place. We need him, I need him. I kept thinking, who can take his place. It is not enuff just to be an atheist. Hitch was a brainiac, a writer, an intellectual and unapologetic. When he destroyed your argument he did it with style as well as thoroughness. Who can do that...not me. But that is OK....

If you are an atheist and you want to debate William Lane Craig, then you must have a Phd. (those are his rules). But to criticize religion all you need is what you already have-your evolved human brain.  Little kids can come up with the example that I came up with earlier. You don't need a Phd. in ancient history (like Carrier) to point our there are many creation stories in Genesis. There are many empty tomb stories, many of the gospels contradict, who wrote the gospels, what happened to the early types of Christianity's, why were some gospels held back and kept outta the final bible. Read the bible and tell me that shepherds were chillin' in Winter when they saw that star. What is it I'm trying to say....

We may not be the next Christopher Hitchens, and it saddens my heart that there may never be, but that does not mean that we cannot contribute. Team Atheist is a team and everyone plays there role. I guess if I were the worlds most awesome evolutionary biologist, like Dawkins, then I would take that stage to promote modern atheism.

Traveling the atheist blogosphere this weekend I am so encourage to see the not everyday bloggers use this super sad moment to be inspired and pledge to blog some more. This is what we have to do to keep this Golden Age of Atheism going. Do your part. If my part is spending a couple of hours everyday writing my blog that may or may not reach up to 300 people everyday, then by golly, that is my part. Look at the way a person I have never met (and now, never will) has influenced me; we can all do this.

I guess what I scared of is that The New Atheist, the Team, my team, our team, will dissipate and disappear with the passing of Hitch, My Hero. Fo sho I am saddened. Fo sho this is not a good time in my personal life for this to happen (when is it evah). I don't give a shit. I promise, y'all, all you kind gentle and very good looking readers, I may not be the next Christopher Hitchens, but I am the current Kriss, and I promise you...(win or lose) I'm down for the fight for secular society. I'm in for the long hall.

Team Atheist Forever.

* Religion dispatches...Where will Hitches Soul go.

* Rabbi Wolpe also wrote a nice piece about dude. they debated 6 times. Couldn't find it tho.

(1) If you think you can beat D'Souza, W.L. Craig or Wilson is a debate then challenge them. Or Wolpe. c'mon now atheist, I don't see you name on the debate circuit.

The Ghost Of Jim Morrison

Well, it's deemed authentic so I guess that is it. A photograph of rock historian, Brent Meiser, standing infront of the grave of Jim Morrison, with the ghost of the man himself, has been authenticated. Forget that it was authenticated by people that make a living from ghost hunting stuffs, this shit is fer real (or not).

For those on the team, Team Skeptic that is, we know about this thiing called double exposure (it was very lucrative back in the day), so...STFU. Here's the vid decide for yourself. Ghost, double exposure, pareidolia or bong smoke.

C'mon Jim "Break on thru."

Part of me wants to believe that Bruce Lee, Jim Morrison and Christopher Hitchens are chillin' in an eternal afterlife and they are all trying to "get on" Jane Russell...but I'm too smart for that.

Deja Vu-ish

The totally not greatly exaggerated demise of My Hero, is a lot like when Jerry died; whether it is true or not, it's (at least feels like) the end of an era and a new beginning. I remember Andy and I trekked down to the City the weekend of Jerry's memorial concert.

You have to be a baddass to rock a Warlock. I play a Telecaster.

We were as poor as we are now, if not worse, and we had to hijack his Chevy Nova from the driveway of his parents house (even tho we were grown men). As we drove away Andy told me that the lie he told his dad was transparent and that "he knew", but I was selfish that day and probably said something like "It's gonna be cool, bro." The car had been sitting for a while, the paint faded, and even when it was running good, it still was not that good. Even tho we were grown men at the time, even tho we shoulda known better, we had the choice of (maybe) breaking down somewhere in BFE, or if the Gods so chose, making to this epic concert for that guitar player-that even guitar players like ourselves, admired (we are a selfish bunch, and hardly dish out kudos or compliments).

The car was ugly, rusted and untrustworthy. It had a sticker on the bumper tied on with twine that said "Awesome." When we went over the bay bridge I cursed the suspension because I was trying to roll a joint, and I only had a small amount of mushrooms, a joints worth of weed and maybe, just maybe enuff beer money for me and my equally alcoholic friend for part of the day. "This is gonna be so epic, bro," I proclaimed when I finished rolling our days only joint. "What," Andy tried to say over the blaring Grateful Dead music playing on his crap stereo and I just shook my head.

Well it's turns out the concert sucked. Previously we had been to the really epic Bill Graham memorial concert in Golden Gate Park (the best concert of my life, evah) and we thought we were in for more of the same. At the Bill Graham Memorial Santana played, Los Lobos, Robin Williams did comedy, Journey played, John Fogerty played Creedence songs with the Dead backing him up...and then the Dead played. That was the day of days. When those propeller driven planes flew over head and dropped red and white carnations all over the crowd, while the Dead were playing sugar Magnolia, and also while I was on a bathroom run, but I stopped to meet a redheaded, 19 y/o legal assistant (and we hugged and jumped for joy as the flowers rained down on us), I thought to myself "I will always, always remember this." Unfortunately this particular concert didn't go down like that.

Did I mention that I took three kinds of acid this day...and had the time of times.

We thought that the most epic bands were going to turn up but instead it was the essence of bands that used to be good with only one or two remaining members of the original band. Part of Dead shows was also how awesome the crowd was. The crowd was lame. After surveying the situation we decided to eat what little mushrooms we had...then we had a bad trip.

We decided fuck this "let's get outta here" so we got back into the jalopy to head back to Sac Town. "Let's go thru Haight and check it out." Fo sho, after all what would be a trip to the City, for guys like us, without going to the Haight.

I recall that the sun was out and that we had the windows rolled down. We both acknowledged that the shrooms were not "schrooming" so we decided to smoke the one joint that we had...oh, but it broke in my pocket and was unsalvageable. We had long ago drank all the beer, because there is never enuff beer for two guys like us and we cruiseded Haight Street smoking cloves (I smoked cloves back then.).

The streets were packed with jaywalkers. It seemed like there was no rhyme or reason, much less cross walks. The street was packed with cars also, apparently everyone had the same idea as us, and traffic moved at, like, 5mph (really). Hippies traversed between the slow moving cars like zombies, and so many of them, I can't emphasize how many people were in the street, and many many many said out loud "What am I going to do." Cloves smoke for a long time and we killed my pack even before getting to the Lower Haight. It was a relief to get outta there, get on 80 back to Sac.

We didn't say anything on the way back.

That is how I feel right now.

Goodbye homie, writer, intellectual, hero, master debater, eloquent defender of atheism...mentor. Goodbye.