More Cowbell and More Superhero's

Real life superhero's, or weirdo's.

When I was  a little kid growing up in the country I used to practice or train to become a super hero, and I was totally serious about it. Hell, I knew martial arts and we lived out in the country, we were bored outta our minds, so we had to do something.

I used to practice throwing things, anything (rocks, knives, rubber bouncy balls, anything handy) both left handed and right handed cause I wanted the super hero ability to be able to knock the bad guys eye out, or just knock out a bad guy at any moment.

I trained to make my body harder, like the Shaolin monks did in those movies that my dad used to take me to, by hitting myself with sticks and pounding my fist into stuffs that was harder than a kids hand: a bucket of dirt, a wall, our gravel driveway.

I had a shield (a garbage can lid) that was like Captain America's where I could deflect things (rocks that I commanded my cousins and brother to throw at me) and I also practiced throwing my shield and ricocheting off of corners of buildings/structures because that is how they did it in the comic books (the bad guys always fell for the slightly over thrown shield that went over their head and on the rebound, knocked them on the back of the head. Bad guys are so stupid). And lastly...

I used to tie a rope to the top of the garage, which was about 20 ft high (I guess) and I would swing like a pendulum from one side of the top of the garage to a ledge that was outside of the balcony of my room. My mom hated that shit (because I also practiced 'falling' and 'rolling' from great heights), and fo sho, 42y/o and more brittle boned Kriss would never try that.

When my parents asked me what I was doing I always said, "I'm training to become a superhero." Any who...

So where have all the super hero's gone...I'll tell ya...to frackin' jail.

 Phoenix Jones (above) of the Rain City Superhero Movement has posted bail and apologized. Real name, ya know in reality, Benjamin Fodor was arrested last Sunday on four counts of pepper spraying people. He thinks he stopped a crime, the victims think they were walking to their car. So far it is a case of "they said" v. "superhero said', but he did post bail and vowed to keep on crime fighting.

Lemme hold that for you, old white lady.

 Phoenix Jones and the rest of the Rain City Superhero Movement (including his hottie superhero wife PurpleRein) have vowed to keep on crime fighting in their neighborhood. They have been fighting crime since February of this year and so far they have stopped...a carjacking. Check out this super awesome 60 Minutes Australia piece on them and of course, you can like their Facebook page.

I wonder if they are excepting applications. What the world needs is an atheist superhero. I might know someone that can fuck peeps up (and like it). Awesomeness.

* I'm not gonna wear my underwear on the outside, tho. In fact, I'm not gonna wear underwear, so there.

* Good hub page with a bunch of info on these, err, superhero's.