The Slutty Halloween Costume Conspiracy

Hiez, everyone, I'm totally cute.

Like I said the other day, Halloween is popular because of the Slutty Halloween Costume Conspiracy. If you would like to debate that, then bring it on. I'll Lincoln-Douglass your arse till the break of dawn (and I'm pissed right now cause I have a toothache and no insurance. Aaaaaaaa). If that does not seem possible or probable to you, then try this one. Halloween is the devils day. It is the day when real evil lurks the streets recruiting the chillin'. It is a demons nite and if you are not careful, then you will become possessed. Satan rules the nite. Or...that is bullshit...

Don't forget you omega 3 fatty acids.

Or Halloween is a time of great parties, costumes, fun and some of that good 'ol stupidstition that those know it all skeptics keep talking about. Some believe that it originated in the festival Samhain from those crazy Celtics, you know the ones that invented that dancing with no arm movements (River Dance). During Samhain peeps would lite bonfires and wear costumes to ward off the ghosts and ghouls.

Filipino's eat dogs, esp Taco dogs.

In the 8th century, Pope G-III went all Christian and did what Christians do best and they hijacked the holiday (like they did with Christmas, Easter, dying and rising Gawds etc...). Just like when they hijacked the Winter Solstice from the Pagans, Pope G declared Samhain to be All Saints Day-they did incorporate some of the traditions of the Celtic festival-but now it was about honoring saints and martyrs (which sounds super boring).

Booty.

While the rest of the secular world adopted All Hallows Eve (Halloween) and celebrated the winter nites, created child based activities (trick or treating) and used it as a reason to celebrate within the community, those crazy hijacking Christians used it as an opportunity to spread fear and live in fear.

What was once a pretty good party, ya know with that super good alcohol that I like so much...oh yea and food also, was turned into a supernatural and superstitious nite of fear. Unsubstantiated entities like demons, pure evil and Satan himself now roamed the nite and ya know what...they ARE gonna git ya. So watch out you sinner.

I have to tip my hat to all the good and reasonable Christians out there that just see it as a nite where their kids can collect some kid crack (candy) and hopefully, the adults can have some tasty beverages and treats of their own. (Some) Religion is elitist and dividing, and I feel bad for a poor kid that doesn't get to do what all the other kids get to do (trick or treating) because their parents are....crazy.

Be safe tonite everyone. Awesomeness.

* The History of Halloween

* A Christian Debate Over Something Harmless Like Halloween

* Jesus-Ween. See whata mean.