Not Tonight My Love, Please Not Tonight

This is not the child, just random cuteness.

I was gonna write about the Chinese toddler that got run over, twice, and then 18 people walked by and no one did anything to help as she lay there bleeding to death (WTF people, makes me wanna punch and punch. Aaaaaaaa...), but that is to downerville...so I'm going to write about the end of the world, again.

In case ya missed it last May, The Rapture is back today and unfortunately for me, it's payday (why couldn't the world end tomorrow, when I don't have any money?). So that sucks. Harold "The Failed Prophet" Camping is going all failed prophet again and for the third time (90's, last May and right now) has predicted the...end. Fin. Fineto (is that a word). Stick a fork in it. That really large lady is singing. The curtain has been drawn and maybe...pigs are flying. It's over folks...or not.

I don't wanna go into how stupidhead (is stupidhead one word or two?) 90 y/o Camping is. What I wanna do is point out the gobbely-goop reasoning of the believers mind. So the end did not happen in the 90's and it did not happen last May, and yet, people still believe in dude. So WTF. Why?

Fred Store, 66, led the caravan of RV's going cross country last May to tell the "awesome news (that we are all gonna die)" to the country. But is he mad that 'it' didn't happen. No, he said, ", “We were caught by surprise. ... But we realize now that it’s very possible that we misunderstood some of the things we thought were true..."


I'll say ya "misunderstood." Family Radio, the ridiculous Christian radio station that airs Camping radio program (oh remind me to write about all those Asian people that thought The Rapture was gonna happen and then their government killed hella them, seriously), made this official statement...


“What really happened is that God accomplished exactly what he wanted to happen. That was to warn the whole world that on May 21 God’s salvation program would be finished. ... For the next five months, except for the elect (the true believers), the whole world is under God’s final judgment,” 


Well, if you were just trying to warn the world, then why didja scare everyone and promote it like, gee I dunno, like everyone was gonna die. But the deception and the "misunderstanding" are not enuff, we also need to redefine words...like erff-quakes.

“We always look at the word ‘earthquake’ to mean the earth, or ground, is quaking or shaking violently. However, in the Bible the word ‘earth’ can include people as well as ground. ... Therefore we have learned from our experience of last May 21 what actually happened. All of mankind was shaken with fear. Indeed the Earth (or mankind) did quake in a way it had never before been shaken.”

Oh, you mean that definition of earthquake and not the definition that the rest of the world uses. Totally must be our bad, rightThis next guy, Paul Anatiychuk, is an example of de-evolution. I mean really, Paul, even coo coo birds think you are wacky. Poor Paul felt really bad that he was going to go to heaven but the rest of his family was going to burn and suffer, which is actually very nice. He didn't get mad that Camping's second Rapture didn't happen, no he's positive. Paul thinks it's a blessing that last May's Rapture didn't happen. Why, because this time around, the third time, Camping said the "end" will not be violent and your loved ones will not suffer. This is gonna be the Gentle Rapture. This is a relief to Paul, but he also admits...they are still gonna die (crazy much).


Lorenzo DiTommaso, Prof. of Religion, said...


"Camping could have admitted he was wrong. He could have said the calculations were off and needed further analysis. Or he could have spiritualized the apocalypse, which is exactly what he did."


The first one, hell, I've never seen or heard of that one happening. Why would failed prophets admit that they are wrong. I think he pulled the "wrong calculations" move the first and second time and I have seen that one before. With things like this it is always, we didn't pray hard enuff, we need to read the scripture closer (why didn't you do that the first time) and the bad 'ol...our numbers were wrong. The last one, I really like this one. Bad 'ol it did happen, but not the way we thought it would happen. People are already saying this one for the Mayan 2012 End of Times. The "It's gonna be spiritual" card is already being shown on that one. 


I dunno know (and actually I do know), I'm Asian and by default, I'm a numbers guy. What do the statistics tell us. Will it happen or not. What I do know is that I'm going to my friends birthday party tonight, it's payday, and I have total confidence that I will be a tremendous, black belt drinker tonight (and I might be down for some drung usage-it's been a while) and if this shit does go down before I can have me some fun...I'm going to be pissed.


* Chinese toddler gets run over and no one help. USA Today.

* Insane article on total genocide that happend because these innocent Asian people listened to Camping raido show...and they died for that. So frackin' sad and bad.