The Blog Post With No Name

I was happy not enjoying this latest blog break when I came across something that my dead mentor (Hitch) would acknowledge and say, "Well, then, what more evidence does one need." The latest from the Pew Research Center (yes, that Pew research Center) is that while the number of religionistas are getting smaller and smaller in free society, behind the walls and in the prison courtyards.."religion is bustling."

The current GOP'rs so badly want to return to a Mad Men 50's and 60's (that may or may not have existed if you were white and male), where Jesus is God and God is America (or American) and women made you sandwiches...good ones. The revolutionary pill has set male dominance back 4-5 decades and "those liberal colleges" are breeding grounds for, gasp...atheism and their godless commie socialist sounding free and critical thinking.

I need to party with this dude Bayes. Dam bro, you came up with this shit. Epic.

Meanwhile in the nations prisons religion is spreading so fast that the dude that made Bayes theorem called and thinks the shit is spreading really fast. Team Atheist, we've been over it a million times and we will go over it again and again...(generally speaking) those with some sort of understanding of science and critical thinking tend to be skeptics and atheists, while those with no understanding believe in angels, fairies, the supernatural and miracles-n-such (and I'm not sayin' those peeps are bad people, I'm saying...well, I said it). If Pew Research did a survey in prisons about who knows something about the scientific method, evolution thru natural selection and philosophical/critical thinking I confident that the numbers would be low....really low.

Lords Resistance Army...Uganda. Dammm, bro those are big bullets. That's what she said.

Right now in third world countries evangelical Jesus-ism is spreading faster than cholera (that was a joke, a really bad joke. I don't give a fuck). In Africa they are so white American evangelical that they are (trying) passing laws to make teh gay...illegal (punishable by death). The Pope, yes, that Pope, went to freekin' Cuba (I'd love to go there) and articles claimed that his reception was "understated and smallish". Why, because the American Jesus virus, with it's promise of a better life-although in the AFTER life, is spreading (1).

The prison of third world poverty is verrrryyyyy similar to the prison of, mmm, prison. What is totally similar is...lack of education. If you evah needed proof of dominionism, here it is. I'm not going to look for it (but you should), but last year I wrote about how evangelical ministries are taking over services in prisons that USED to be offered by the state. Because of budget cuts, Jesus cultists, stepped up to offer the prison population access to computers, books and education. The thingy about it is that comes with a side heaping, hell-ping, of white American, fag hating, sexist...Hey-sooz.

Fell sorry for society when these people get out.

* I'm gonna take an atheist blog break peeps, unless something totally awesome that needs addressing, err, needs to be addressed. I'm not feeling that "it" that the cool kids keep talking about. C'ya soon.

    Heart, Kriss

* Oh yea...the Survey. Thanks Pew.

(1) I think it's easier to be an evangelical christian than a Catholic. Less studying, less authority and if you are betting on salvation in the afterlife, the evangelical one seems more accessible than the Catholic version. Just sayin'.

Jesus Switched Teams...No He's not Gay Now

Lord, thank you for letting me defeate my black brothers, in your name, your glory. Thanks, Tim.

This is a pretty cool article. In case you haven't heard, Jesus has switched teams. No he's not gay now (just curious)...he's a Jet's fan. If you thought of New York only as a godless mecca (I do), think again skeptic. Team Jesus' basketball team is the Knicks because of super awesome Jeremy "You're representing all Asians whether you like it or not" Lin, and his favorite football team is (now) the NY Jet's. Yes, it's true, the savior, the 13th apostle, the paragon of the brand called Christian, Timmy "freekin" Tebow is now on the NY Jet's. So the logical conclusion is that Jesus now hates the Denver Broncos. Right.

Anyhoo...New York, the awesome melting pot it is, is a gumbo of religious athletes. Thanks NY Times...

Kareen Abdul Jabar is of Islamic faith. I'm no Black History buff or historian, but was it not in the 70's that the black community, in an attempt to be "black and proud", turn to Islam (the Nation of Islam), started changing their names (I think so). I hope in the upcoming decade the black community can have a similar renaissance and the pews of black Atheist and Black Skeptics clubs overflow-ith.

The "trick" to fighting someone bigger than you is "cut them down like a tree" and attack low.

Someone named Carl Evert questioned whether dinosaurs ever existed. The Greatest Reliever evah, Marino Rivera wants to be a preacher after his baseball life. Kurt "The Original Annoying Christian Athlete" Warner was a Giant for, like, a second (that counts, right). And don't forget that Ray Burris incident where he showed Christian love by demanding the no women reporters be allowed (to do their jobs) in the NY Mets locker room. Here's some logic (philosophy). I. Athletes are stupid. II Athletes believe in God. III. Therefore, God is stupid (1).

Super lame boxer Yuri Foreman slept IN Yankee stadium before the Cotto fight because of his cultures little Sabbath thingy.

You got 'em right where you want him, Yuri. Attack attack. NOW.

Wow, son of a preacher man Phil "Everyone in Sacramento hates you (but I don't)" Jackson is that non-religion that I used to practice, Buddhism.

For me, personally...this is the shit.

Don't forget Amar'e Stoudemire is...Jewish (?).

I'm not shitting you, Amare Stoudemire checkin' out the Dead Sea Scrolls. Yes, Those. Epic.

I'll end with this one. Jay Feeley, the freekin' kicker, so saith the mighty NYT, "the only kicker in history to talk conservative politics on Sean Hannity's Fox Show." That sentence doesn't look right to me. Fallacy's, sentence structure...anyone.

OK, no more fun...next post back to angry atheist shit. Promise.

(1) An exasperated, rolling my eyes, "Yes know it all skeptic. Yes, I know. Thank you, it was a joke."

A Tale Of Two Americas

"Get Oooouyuuutttttttt. We don't worship Buddha. We worship the one true God....Jeeesssuuuuu Christ."

Sorry Buddha, if that is your real name, you're not going to American heaven.

OK, crazy much. It just proves the point that religion is exclusive and religion divides. Pastor Dennis Terry, when introducing Butt Juice, made a mountain of logical fallacies while trying to prove his talking points: America is not the land of the free, America was founded to be a Christian nation, fuck the 1st amendment, abortion is killing babies, there is only one true American religion and people that buy this shit are totally stupid (that last part wuz me).

"Respectable?"

Don't take my word for it. Horse...mouth...

"I don't care what the liberals say, I don't care what the naysayers say, this nation was founded as a Christian nation...There is only one God and his name is Jesus. I'm tired of people telling me that I can't say those words.. Listen to me, If you don't love America, If you don't like the way we do things I have one thing to say - GET OUT. We don't worship Buddha, we don't worship Mohammad, we don't worship Allah, we worship God, we worship God's son Jesus Christ (Huff Po)."

There are two Americas. One is the land of the free that we all grew up studying and believing in. This is the America that people of the world also believe in (and so do I). Many may peeps, young and old the able and disabled, make great sacrifices to come here; and they come here for a chance. They do not want handouts, all they want is a chance, a chance to work hard and let the chips fall where they may. They left violence and oppression for the freedom that America represents. This is why the founders, err, founded.

The other America is elitist and uber evangelical Christian (if you are liberal Christian then you might as well be a Jew, or nonexistent heaven forbid, Moooooslem). That thing about accepting the tired and the masses, is...that was just a suggestion. It matters not that every single person here in the states, except Native Americans, is an import. If your parents or your parents parents migrated here and you live here now(and your are white male), then by all means "we" can shut the gates of opportunity.

Furget that the founders left the homeland for religious liberty/freedom. That is a thing of the past. Furget that that the position of the right wing American Christians looks exactly like the oppression that the founders were trying to escape. Those peeps are not here right now, we are.

Who are we? Dominionist, creationist, a specific right wing uber American Christianity, American Exceptionalist, elitists, white and male, climate deniers, anti vaxers, red blooded American killers, colonizers, capitalists, 1%'rs...did I leave anyone out.

* From the mighty...Gay    South    Florida

Psycho Terrorist Both

The other day it was brought up, "what if we are wrong about this whole religion is the root of all evil thingy." Is it really that important. Are not there others factors in all the yucky stuffs that happen in the world. Really, Kriss, religion? Yes.

See this, like, three years ago...or now.

French citizen 24y/o Mohammed Merah *allegedly* murdered three school children, a rabbi and previously, three soldiers. While still early in the manhunt, it is presumed that "Mo" is guilty and French authorities are proceeding as such. Press reports claim that "Mo" is associated with al-Qaeda and has trained in both Afghanistan and Pakistan. "Mo" is protesting France's participation in Afghanistan.

Early reports speculate that this is one of the weapons used. The 1911 is a fine, fine I tell ya, weapon, but when things like this happen it makes me reconsider my position.

So what motivates one to do such horrible acts upon fellow humans. Perhaps his relative(s) or friend(s) were killed because of other countries meddling in his countries affairs. Revenge can be a very strong motivator, so strong that one's rational and thinking is f*cked up (I know first hand this one). These reasons and many more can factor into the how's and why's of such despicable acts, but I can't help but believe that after the surface reasons, religion is the fuel that justifies revenge. I can't help but believe that faith and blind belief are the 'something-somethings' that turn an otherwise normal human into a killing machine.

Why would people hijack a plane and fly it into a building, or kill innocent school children. When compared to an afterlife in heaven , is life here on earth so horrible that one loses all sense, that one loses all humanity within. If foreign troops came to Sacramento would not Joe Citizen fight to take back and preserve our way of life (I would). Both sides in Israel/Palestine are trying to preserve their way of life. Who is right and who is wrong in that one. No one is innocent, both sides have killed and both sides want revenge. Where will it end (1).

The alleged scooter used in the two killings.

Why is the mighty United States all up in different parts of the world. Is it to secure valuable resources (for our own wants), or to spread democracy...or is it to spread our particular God virus. I didn't invent the term American Exceptionalism (Colonisalism), I just acknowledge it. But it's not just American religion that is divisive and elitist...they all are.

God choose the Israelis, he did not choose the Palestinians. This justifies the Gaza "freekin" Strip. This justifies building homes on other peeps property. This justifies a modern day apartheid , an oppression of an entire peoples. This justifies the literal spreading of their particular God virus. God said it is so. Don't question it, because that will make you a heretic, a sinner. Yes we have hella weapons and a buffed and feared military, but don't question, have trust in faith instead, and most importantly, kill kill kill. We are better than them, so saith the Lord.

Don't forget about Uncle Sam and American-ilism. Our god said that we are the best, we are the chosen ones. American religion must dominate, must dominate I tell ya. That is what our God said. Sure the Jews are a chosen people, but they were just chosen to be sacrificed to make way for American exceptionalism...American elitism.

Lastly...Islam. The Religion of Peace is anything but. You know the sayin' "I'll sleep when I die." Their sayin' is "I'll be peaceful when I die...and you too." If any of the major religions had reason for revenge, it would be Team Mo. Don't forget 9/11 was not an attack, it was a retaliation. If pointy nose America did not stick their white pointy noses in others peoples business (affairs, resources, land, culture, etc...) then we wouldn't have revenge and retaliation....err, actually, we still would.

I'll admit that of the major religions, I know the least about Islam. But what is there to know. History has shown us that they are not an assimilating religion, they are a join our team or we'll f*ch you up religion. There is only one true religion (they all say that) and it ain't yours, buddy.

So is religion the umbrella topic, the topic that covers everything from economics, the environment, wars and equality. Is it the topic that is the reason behind the reasons..."you betcha."

* As of 9:18am this is the latest in France at Wa Po.

(1) As long as there is extremist religion there will never be world peace. Extremist religion is elitist and it divides people. The nature of it claims that one group is better than another group. Why, because their particular sky father said so. Fuckity fuck fuck.

Return Of The Peanut

You put your baby in my peanut butter...thanks, bro. Delicious.

Hey angry atheist, give credit where credit is due. I'm veeerrrrryyyyy impressed with the 39th president of the United States, Jimmie James "Freekin" Carter. In the usually very weak and lame Huff Post Religion, the former president, the man who broke away from homophobic and sexist the Southern Baptist Church, Peanut answers the tuff questions about the bible (yes, THAT bible), his new book and faith.

OM(nonexitent)Gawd all you kind gentle and very goodlooking readers dude has the courage to answer questions like sanctioned biblical slavery, the war on women and the war to control women's pee pees-n-stuff, did Gawd write the bible, how old is the universe. Really those are epic questions and in fact those are our talking points (I know because I've said those things while standing on my soap box), so Peanut did some good y'all.

Why is this coolio. If I have said it once, I have said it a million times...If Team Atheist can debunk (destroy) extremist religion, then the business of world peace and a secular society will be that much easier. If religious peeps, en mass, move from a literal interpretation of the bible that says "snakes talk, gays bad, da erffs is 6-10,000 y/o" to a more liberal interpretation...a more equality-ie and peaceful interpretation, then baddfreekinass.

Poor Peanut. He had that hostage thingy, recession, unemployment and the OPEC than to deal with. Wait, it's always like that.

Gee I dunno, if believers would ALL subscribe to the reality that the bible was inspired by God and not literally written by God, then maybe, just maybe, peeps will stop hijacking planes and running them into buildings, invading other countries for revenge and killing innocent  civilians and calling it *collateral damage*. Just maybe.

Don't get me wrong...I don't believe in the symbolic God/Jesus of liberal religion either, I just think one step at a time, bro. I just think the classic military strategy divide and conquer. I just think that Team Atheist, at least on the social issues, have more in common with liberal religion than extremist religion.

I'm stoked right now (and it feels good to have some kinda feeling/excitement) and I will return to this epic interview from Peanut, of course, with super awesome, pot smoking, morning drinking, stinky hippie, Nor-Cal opinion. In the meantime, read the interview and I'll pound this breakfast beer.

I was too young to try Billy Beer. I guess it tastes like sweaty Southern Jesus eating BBQ.  Or Budweiser.

* Oh yea...part of it is that more and different translations that believers keeps spewing, the more unlikly any of them are true. If one splinter cell claims one interpretation is correct and another cell claims that what they say is correct, then doesn't that make them all wrong. It does from the Team Atheist perspective. Mo' later.

* Article Huff Po.

* I read this on Dwindling Unbelief yesterday. It's about how believers cherry pick certain passages to follow, but not others. These passages could be interpreted as God/Jesus insisting that "one man lay with another", or that question that is asked at all bars at closing time "Are you a topper, or a bottom-er." This cherry picking thing is about liberal v extremist interpretations of the bible, about correct and not correct. It is about making sense in the modern world or not making sense in the modern world.

* Don't fergit that the 39th presidents brother was a notorious beer swiller. so much so, he came out with his own beer...Billy Beer.

* Peanut's bio. Really interesting guy.

Bowling Is An Indicator Species Of Sorts

OK, howzzz about a lighter topic today, no not that Eye-Ran nuclear power/missiles thingy...bowling. Sad as it is to say folks but there are only (aprox) 200 bowling alley-chruches left (which means there are freekin' bowling alleys inside da churches, preferably in the basement). This is another sign in the diminishing of what Richard "Papa Bear" Dawkins calls "The Root of All Evil": low attendance, lack of public faith, the growing of Team Atheist, churches closing and now this...only 200 church bowling alleys left.

This is Atheist 101 stuffs. Must see.

St. Ann Catholic Church is one of the last-ies. It also has a bar (yippie) and dining room and every Friday and Saturday nite the place is booked I tell ya', for those awesome older phat white Christian bowling party-wish I could go, sounds fun. I tell y'all, if St. Rosa Parish in Santa Rosa had a bowling alley...who knows...who knows. Someone named Neil Stremmel of the U.S. Bowling congress (yes, THAT Neil Stremmel and THAT epic U.S. Bowling Congress) is the one that came up with the number of 200 left.

Literally, a holy roller.

Author of the book "They Came To Bowl: How Milwaukee Became The Tenpin Capitol Of The World," Doug Schmidt, said at one time there was a mighty 13 church bowling alleys at one time. He said that when German immigrants came in the 1860's, not only did they bring huge beer guzzling blond women with huge breasts and sausages, but also the epic bowling alley church (1).

So, is it that as the older generation of believers straight up die, then likewise so goes their religion and bowling is just collateral damage, or did bowling create this era of dwindling unbelief. Parish administrator Pat Sundermann said, "Everyone wants to go down and look and smile and joke, but nobody wants to bowl."

Perhaps if church officials modernized their facilities and instead of having bowling alleys they had video games, movies, outdoor activities, equality for women and LGBT'rs, and scripture that made sense, then perhaps there would not be a void of youth in today's churches. It doesn't matter which came first, bowling and religion is not something that cool kids in 2012 wanna do (2)

(1) I made some of that up, but if you think about it, then yeah...

(2) I like bowling, just sayin'.

* Biology Indicator species (ie those super sensitive frogs).

* It saddens me that it took so long to write this, even tho is supposed to be da funnies. Le sigh.

Two Blog Posts In One

I couldn't atheist blog yesterday, I had to work a stupid St. Patty's Fest thingy. You know what...drunk people are super annoying. Oh well you do what you halfta do to eat-n-shit (one day I will not be poor).

A while back I said I wuz a-gonna go over all the logical fallacies (but I really only posted, like, once on that), so here's another one. Today at the mighty Atheist Revolution @vjack talked about the fallacious and delicious...red herring.

I dunno if this is even a red herring. Whatevah.

First of all a logical fallacy is a mistake in reasoning. There are a million ways to do this, hence a million  different fallacies that Team Atheist must learn. Why. Because weeeeeee are on the side of reason/reasoning. I personally do not want to be a Team member that says stupid shit while other Team Atheist members roll their eyes. We are better than that, or at least...we should be.

Red Herring...Lil did this atheist know but the term red herring comes from super gross fox hunting. A stinky and red fish (the red herring) was used to obstruct the fox's sent from those blood thirsty hounds chasing said fox (who does this...I dunno). So the red herring argument is something stupid that takes the attention away from the real topic. It is a distraction of sorts. It is irrelevant. It is, in Kriss-speak...stupidhead.

Bad human, BAD.

Let's see if I can give a good example of this. In mystery novels you are trying to, guess, solve the mystery. But an innocent character is introduced, but you don't know that character is innocent and in fact, you think that character is the loser that committed the crime and unbeknownst to you-you are wrong. You were distracted and you were thrown off the sent by this red herring, when obviously...the butler did it.

Let's try another one. We are arguing about the existence of Gawd. It's going well until they say "Well since we don't agree I guess you don't care about humanity." (Is that a good one? I'll admit it if it's not.).

OK, I think I got a good one. Rick "Butt Juice" Santorum when he first first was starting to get attention had a talk at a college when a super awesome co-ed called him out on his stupid stance on gay marriage (he's anti-gay anything). She said something cool like, "Hey Butt Juice LGBT marriage is an independent event from hetero marriage and in no way do loving LGBT peeps getting married have any affect on hetero marriage." Here's his response.

(Not exactly, but he really did say this) " Well, if gay marriage is allowed then why not with two people, or three people. If gay marriage is allowed, then why not with animals. Where does it stop."

OK, I think that was a good one. His answer has nothing to do with the question or the conclusion (gay marriage). It was the definition of distraction.

What my atheist blogosphere mentor @vjack (even tho we have never met) was talking about today was...are we, Team Atheist and those who battle for secular society and equal rights for all (even them), distracted. Are we not focusing our collective energy on the correct thingy. Are we being red herring'd. Go are the article and decide fer yo'sef. In other news...

My depression can make LOL Cats sad. Fuck depression.

My personal battle for sanity and happiness is, well..it could be going better. I do, in my heart believe that the score I keep talking about is still in my favor, but...

I'm not so outta it that I can't notice my low energy or lack of feelings. The thousand yard stare is back and so is the monotone voice. It is sunny right now in Sac Town, but the previous couple of days have been the definition of gloomy. Sucks so bad because I WAS feeling so good. I'm obsessing on random things that should not mean anything to me, and for those who care (you know who you are), that is the beginning of frustration, which leads to the anger. I just got an adjustment on my meds, but perhaps it is too soon to make a diff.

I'm sharing this because so many of you reached out to me this last year with your own stories (thank you) and struggles. All my honesty here on the Six Pack blog is nothing compared to what you have shared with me. I'm a fighter and I'm gonna fight this. I do want so badly to get better. I want so badly to ditch unfeeling and trade it with happiness. What I do not want is to go thru what I went thru last year at this time until...well, it never ended (1). What I do not want is to be a physical fighter. I do not want to hurt anyone and I do not want to hurt myself. That is the score. I wish it were different, but that is what honesty is.

Wish me luck.

* Red herring is also something that the Vikings used to eat, and perhaps do now.

* The Sad Season...from last years archives.

* The Fallacy Files...Red Herring.

(1) Nevermind, I'll keep this one to myself.

Gawd's Party Haz No Kegs

Remember the show Family Ties...I do.

Really, I long for the days when republicans were just normal people that I disagreed with because they only wanted small government and less taxes, and that was that. I dunno when it happened (I think it started in the 70's with Peanut, but it exploded in the 80's with The Gipper) but the republican right has become the party of sayin' "no", anti-awesome clean preppy and good looking homos, war on women folk, pro American colonialism, pro American elitism, and of course pro-surveillance camera in the sky (Gawd). We are far far away from the Young Republicans of the 80's (my best friend at the time was one of those, and so was Michael J. Fox's character on Family Ties). So WTF.

Oh, Mal...

If you thought that God was apolitical, then you probably also thought that God didn't watch football (he hearts the Denver Broncos), and you are wrong on both counts. If you thought that here in the awesome United States of American, that one need not be religious to run for freekin' president, then you are wrong again (just look at the overly religious GOP'rs right now).

The battle to be the one to lose to the super awesome Black Prez in the up coming election is ALLLLLLL about controlling religion (as opposed to the non-controlling, liberal, not literal religion that's OK by me). My loving LGBT friends cannot get married because they, somehow, destroy hetero marriage (but hetero divorce is never talked about) and what is it with old, white, religious dudes that wanna decided what and how women do with their bodies (abortion, health care, contraception). It's really weird.

My best friend in HS was a young republican, but he didnt look like Mallory. He's a dude.

The GOP'rs in the last year or so really really like singing pledges. Remember the Promise Keepers (I call them the Promise rapers) from last decade that promised to submit their women because God said so, and also control their families with an iron hand and called it taking back the family...they signed pledges. Currently there are republican pledges, that one MUST sign to show team loyalty, that not only *promise* no tax increases, but also promise/threaten no porn, no sex outside of marriage, no abortion and no contraception. So much for diversity within the republican right, right. If you don't sign the ridiculous, inhibiting and controlling pledge, then no soup and no party support for you-loser.

Choosing God's side has created the ultimate in polarization, so much so that political compromise is something that happened in the past (and that is a shame) and it doesn't look like it will happen in the near or any future (shame again). Choosing God's party has somehow turned off peoples brains and their ability to think critically. Many on the republican right believe that the super awesome Black Prez is a Mooslem and that because he doesn't subscribe to the elitist ideal of American Exceptionalism...he's not patriotic (c'mon now. If dude doesn't love American, then why does/did he make all the sacrifices to become the President. Really now). It's not lack of thinking..it's no thinking (aka stupidhead).

OM(nonexistent)G, she has the mischievous "I just did something wrong" look...forgive me, I'm cute.

 I'm no history buff, but was not this great country (and I do believe that this is STILL a great country) established from the ashes of a religious revolution. Did not the founders fight and successfully escape from religious tyranny of the Mother Land for the sake of freedom, including religious freedom (yes). What is the difference between our so called enemy of Islam, with their super controlling oppression, and their American counterparts that attempt to do the same thing through legislation, ingloriously called the...American Taliban. Nothing.

How is it that very smart and very good critics here in American can point the finger at other cultures and beliefs, but they refuse to do so upon themselves. Say it isn't so. The Pamela Geller's of the world cry out for justice and freedom from (specific) religious oppression, but their fingers are made of black kettles, rubber-glue and hypocrisy.

I wonder what she looks like right now. I wonder if she's...OK. I'm worried.

Lastly, what is at stake is not just the up coming election or how the republican right (and by default all of America) is perceived throughout the world. It is the world, or if you are an LOL Cat, da erffs. There are many parts to Gawd's party: American Exceptionalism, dominionism, the battle for secular society, err I mean religious liberty, the war to control women's bodies, my awesome LGBT friends and equality and don't ferget...the world economy. But because splinter cells of the Jesus cult, cells that are rampant, infiltrating and operating in all levels of government and private sectors, believe in the End of Times (1), then the entire world as we know it is in jeopardy.

Gawd's party haz no kegs and no life. Say it isn't so.

(1) American Exceptionalism, dominionism and the spreading of a literal interpretation of the bible by uber evangelicals includes the scenario of the End of Times. America supports Israel because in order for Jesus to come back (that is the only way), the chosen people MUST establish their homeland. When that happens, according to prophecy, Jesus will come back to da erffs, take back aprox. 80,000 of the lucky ones that DID choose the correct splinter cell of Christianity (outta so many), they will literally rise into the air (ascension) and go to a place called heaven thus leaving everyone else on da erffs to suffer an incredible suffering for all of eternity-that means forever.

(1) I'll just say it here right now...all the dudes wanted his TV show sister...Mallory. Hellloooo.

As a teenager, I also thought the mom was hot. The blond fat chick, nooooooo. I'm a jerk, so what.

Religion Unfair, Again. Say It Isn't So (So)

It's about time, yo.

Guess what Team Atheist...Bill Donohue is mad, again. "You can trash some religions like Roman Catholicism, with impunity, but you cannot trash Islam, " The Hater known as Bill. Not only is Bill angry, again, but so is the infamous Mooslem hater, Pamela Geller. WTF.

Well, I missed this one the other day, but I'd like to thank the New York Times for being awesome. NYT ran an ad from the super awesome FFRF that suggested Catholic peeps consider leaving their corrupt, dysfunctional, did I say corrupt, boy fuckin' church. So Pam got her hate on because she created a totally similar ad that suggests those Mooslems leave Islam. The NYT turned it down which allows American religionists to cry out their latest tactic "Stop infringing on my religious liberty, bro."

"This shows the hypocrisy of the NYT...and it's willingness to kowtow to violent Islamic supremacist intimidation," The Hater known as Pam.

Pam's turned down ad spews stuffs like "Why put up with an institution that dehumanizes women and non-Muslims...that threatens liberty for women and menaces freedom by slaughtering, oppressing...Join those of us who put humanity above the vengeful, hateful and violent teachings of Islam's prophet," Heart Pam.

Kriss (that's me), " Pot, kettle, black...I know what you are, what am I..rubber glue...and hoppo-crit."

Let's not forget that the so called Prince of Peace (Jesus) in Matt 10:34 arrogantly says "I do not come to bring peace, but a sword." If you don't join the correct Team Jesus (outta so many) and in the allotted amount of time...Jesus/God will kill you. As far as American Christianity treating women and LGBT'ers with equality...fergetaboutit. If I were a Mooslem and an American Christian pointed their hypocritical finger at me, I would cut that shit off. Sheez.

Of course the claim of NYT "kowtow-ing" to Islam is a straw-person. In light of recent stupid headedness by God's American Christian army, you know the killing of 16 innocent peeps by a drunk American Army man and the *accidental* Qu'ran burnings, the NYT decided to postpone Pam's ad not reject it. In light of recent events, I believe that was a reasonable act. Sozzz, what about our ad.

Hello, I'm a photo of Jesus from a TV on a broken phone in Florida.

The whoopla over Freedom From Religion Foundation's leave Catholicism ad is an example of that bad ol' Christian privilege that the atheist blogosphere keeps talking about. For a million gazillion years they have posted numerous ads urging peeps to join their churches, we have one. They have continuously injected their philosophy into the public square for ever and ever and ever without any repercussions. Hell, last year they advertised that the freekin' world was gonna end and spent millions of dollars (with many people using their life savings to get the stupidhead message out) on billboards, buses, cars, print and radio. Isn't that yelling fire in a crowed theatre (yes).

I (sort of) agree with Pam. We definitely need to stop supporting institutions that "dehumanize" women and preach divisiveness. It's just that from the Team Atheist perspective...that includes all religion.

* Article

Second Sighting

I thought you were supposed to pray in private, not on peeps broken phones.

OK, let's see if I can get this one right. Jesus, yes that Jesus, was spotted yesterday when this lady took a picture of her TV, on her phone camera, but after the phone broke and rested overnite, then the miraculous image of, obviously, Jesus praying was right there for all to see on the now working phone.

Truly miraculous-y.

* Pareidolia

*http://www.wtsp.com/news/article/244611/19/Woman-says-she-captured-Jesus-image-in-her-TV

My Lil' Thoughts On Kony 2012

First of all, I only watched, like, 5 minutes of the vid the day it came out (but I have read a million gazillion articles-on both sides-since). There are two reactions 1) damm this is bullshit and 2) dammm this is bullshit, but for a different reason. It is here that I must quote my very good friend (and tour manager for the group Death Grips) @keyshawnjohnson.

Sac Town is awesome, yo.

"Liberal white bitches just do it (activism) to make themselves feel good." Thanks "J".

This dude Kony is the leader of the Lord's Resistance Army. There is much to be said about his posse and their origins (Lord's Resistance Army, c'mon now) but that is a different post. He's a bad dude, let's just leave it at that for now.

It is here that I must say about Invisible Children (the makers of the infamous vid) that I'm sure that they have nothing but great and good intentions; but it is intentions that I wanna talk about. As an atheist that comes from a religious family, I'm sure that they have good intentions when they wanna save my soul, but c'mon...your good intentions are selfish. Like I said a month or so ago, if I pass away soon and my family has a religious ceremony for me it would be totally selfish. It would be what they want and not I. That is what Kony 2012 is.

Sure guns kill people, but I would love to have an AK in my collection.

I'll cut to the chase. Yes Uganda needs help. Yes Kony is a bad dude. The thingy about it is that the Kony posse hasn't been around for 6 years. Yes, dude brainwashed many children and made them into child killing machines (bad). They raped and they pillaged....mostly 6 years ago (bad). The reality of right now is that their numbers are really low (200-300) and while still very dangerous, they are not the threat that they were years ago.

Since then Uganda has progressed and, I'll dare say, healed (I'm not sayn' everything is perfect). The thingy about it is that there are more immediate concerns for the Ugandans: food, water, education, infrastructure, basic needs, anything, anything would improve these people.

So what is wrong with Kony 2012. I can't comment on everything that I (and many) perceive to be wrong with this, I'll just mention one. American colonialism. Yes.

I believe it was a month or so ago that the usually super awesome Black Prez sent American troops to hunt for Kony (on a small scale, but sent nevertheless). I'll give credit to the super awesome Black Prez for his very good record of ridding the world of bad dudes and terrorists. That is fact. The thingy about this particular situation is that they are fighting a treat that WAS there. In the meantime there are more immediate concerns for the awesome Ugandan peeps (hello, we are hungry). That is not it.

When American "boots" hit the ground...they never leave. The pretense may be hunting for a terrorist, the spreading democracy, freeing the people from terror and oppression, but what happens after that. They stay. Look at Japan, Europe, Philippines and Korea (not to mention the whole middle East right now). We landed and  fought the good fight, but "we" never left. A legitimate fear of any country that is not America is American colonialism.

We are like the herpes of visitors. Once we get into your country, you cannot get rid of us. Not only that, we spread like a virus brining our very own American savior-Jesus.  Needless to say, Uganda has oil. With or without Invisible Children, eventually, we would be all up in Central Africa. That is what we do. If there are resources to be had (oil, minerals-n-such) God's American Christian army finds a way into that situation.

I Googled "liberal white people with good intentions." for this one.

It's not only the faux reason of freeing oppressed peeps (oppression is real, the reason is not) and/or securing resources, it's about the money that comes from bad ol' American militarization/colony creating. Bullets cost money. Hunting for terrorist costs money. Look at what happened after 9-11, we didn't even go to the right country to hunt for dude (even if it was the right or wrong dude. It was just an excuse to get in there and make money by selling arms) and look at the billions spent and earned the last ten years. All the money used for war stuffs could and should be used for feeding the people, housing them, educating them (deff not putting them in the line of fire to hunt for a dude that hasn't been around for many years).

I'm sure the white Americans that made Kony 2012 have nothing but good and great intentions (we need more people like that), but good and great intentions do not make necessarily correct intentions. In fact, just like if my family had a religious burial for this particular Team Atheist member, that would be....selfish.

* The mighty, credible and reliable Al Jazeera.

Update: I forgot that I wrote about this on Valentines Day. That's called callin' the shot, bro.

The Smell Of God

I'd roll in this. Is that a dunk tank in the back-makes it even better.

OK, I halfta turn off my ancient computer when I'm eating breakfast cause I'll never finish eating at this rate. Guess who has a new fragrance...I'll just tell you...the freekin' Pope; yes that Pope.

Not only is B16 down with wearing the super ugly hats or cruising the blvd in that sick arse Pope Mobile, he's down for smelling good. Lemmie tell y'all, I was raised Catholic and when the priest and his entourage walk to the alter with that "incense" that smells like death...a little fragrance is OK by me.

Hello losers, check out my super ugly hats. B16 beeotches.

OK, so let the jokes begin. "Kriss, what does it smell like. Does it smell like boys being raped, the blood of Christ, boy butt, Ben Gay, stale crackers and boys butt." Sorry to disappoint but, as the French say, "non." Italian boutique perfume maker, Silvana Casoli, made this exclusive fragrance outta lime tree, verbana and grass. The entire list of ingredients is just as secret as the church itself. But the parfume maker did say that her delicate creation is "based on his love on nature." I'll say it so you don't halfta...that's where the smell of young boy comes in, right.

This Casoli is quite the popular elitist boutique proprietor. Customers include Madonna (the one that posed naked, not the holy one), Sting and a King or two. Previous holy scents include Water of Faith and Water of Hope. This is so cool. While many churches are closing down because of the economy, while the services for the poor (their only redeeming endeavor) are being cut to nill, a pedophile protector  can smell of "hope" and "faith" while simultaneously taking away the hope and faith of a young boy. How convenient  and by convenient I mean disgusting.

Italy is kinda cool.

Here's the other side of that fragrant coin. She also makes one called Italy which I imagine smells like the sex parties of their disgraced President Bunga Bunga. There is one called Cannabis which is supposed to be hypnotic (1) and a forbidden one called Nude. Oh joy where do I begin with that one...

"...inspired by the smell of a woman's skin when in the state of ecstasy." Ooorrrr, my interpretation, the smell of sweat, jizz, stale alcohol and cannabis, but not the perfume, the real stuff, gasoline, err I mean cocaine and cigarettes. Because I was raised Catholic, it also smells like guilt and sin, like I have done something wrong. In fact it smells like Hell because that is where I would go if it existed, there I said it. It smells like a musty old blues song and me loading my gun as I leave thru the back window. OK, I'm finished.

There is enuff hair on this cooch equivalent to 80 twenty-something females of 2012.

So B16 wears enuff bling to make hip hop artists envy. His ride is the ultimate and it comes with dudes running along side of it. And now he has his own fragrance. To bad we can't buy it. It is exclusively for the Pope. It couldn't be anyother way, peeps. If it was for everyone, then they wouldn't be that exclusive and elitist club that Team Atheist calls the...church.

(1) I have a version of the perfume called Cannabis...it's called smoking weed.

I like blond hair lately.

Giving Credit And Hints

(This is not a hint.)

I give credit where credit is due, that is just how I roll. I also do the opposite (which is pretty much, talking shit. annyhoo...). There is a place I go for religious commentary and, well, it pretty much sucks everytime. I won't say where/who it is, but I will say that today we are on the same page (credit).

We can agree that, esp. in this election cycle, the current propaganda from the religious is all, and I do mean ALL, hype. The ruckus that they want you/us to believe is that their religious liberty is being infringed upon by the super awesome Black Prez's contraception mandate. It's not true.

What is it about freedom here in American. First of all, we are not free to do anything we want. If our freedom hurts others, then we are not free to do that endeavor. I imagine that back in the day all the slave owners were saying the same exact things that religious folk are sayin' today like, "it's tradition to own slaves, my ancestors and their ancestors have done it," or the super stupid and yucky, "it's in the bible, God said it's cool, so there."

Those "arguments" didn't makes sense back then concerning slavery and they certainly don't make sense today concerning the whole contraception v. religious liberty whoopla. Is their point of view really about controlling women and their bodies because the bible said so, or is it about  so called "religious liberty."

 I just wanted to bust out with the very rare breakfast blog post and give some love to (blank blank).
Sorry I think your work is usually dookie...it's good today, tho.

* That wuz quick. Here's an Update from that place I go everyday and like it sooooo much. RNS.

I'll Punch God's Face

I got this at biblical wallpaper dot com, or something.

The Myth We All Grew Up Hearing

Kid with small kid brain, "Mommy, why does it rain."

Adult that should know better, "Because God is crying (for all those poor homo's and their homo souls)."

Kid with small kid brain, "God must be really sad."

Adult that should know better, "Don't question God, honey...ever."

How Kriss See's It now.

I hate the fucking rain,

God doesn't exist and,

if God did exist and,

one day I would meet

Him-her-it,

then I would punch that

fucker, in the face

 (if it had one).

In conclusion...this is Nor Cal so WTF, and the rain sucks.

Dirty stinky hippies in the sun.

Cute fashionable girls...in the sun.

When it rains in Sacramento, it feels like the end of the world.

* It's really only gonna rain, like, a millimeter or something...I haven't seen the sun since yesterday so what can I say, I'm Californian.